(no subject)
I'm still stressed about what i am going to do. I have about a week to figure it out before i either keep that job or tell them i cant take it because i dont have any way of getting there. I would be way less stressed if i hadnt been told i start job training in two weeks. i really fuckin need this job. People have been lecturing me and telling me it doesnt seem like i even want the job. They were telling me i should move in with someone i barely talk to and how i need to try harder. Sure its a possibility to move in with this person but it will probably not be pleasant and its definately not on my to do list. I have been completely stressed ever since i heard we had to move. The thing i wish would happen the most is for my mom to move to jackson that way i could keep this job and she could actually get one. I, of course, am not looking forward to living with her again but as soon as i start this job and have time to save up for my own place i will be free from all the stress. Well, as free as i will ever get. Honestly, im just sick of people using me and not giving a shit about me. Hopefully soon i wont have to deal with any of them. I'm working on it. I'm working on a lot, physically and mentally and if you cant see it go fuck yourselves. Stop mooching off of everyone around you and do things for yourself, yeah you might say the same thing to me but if anything im trying to get the fuck out of everyones way. I move so i can get a job, i pay for food, i clean and cook, i do whatever i can to get my life in the right direction. Yet everything i do seems to be for nothing. Most would give up but you know what, i wont give up. I cant give up. If i do i will turn back into the fatty fat fuck i was who smoked pot and a pack of ciggs a day. I have done too much to change my life to go back to that shit. I might fall out of existance to everyone but you know what, that might be the only way to succeed. Fuck it. as long as i have my family at my back and Eric at my side i will be fine.