puzzled.
ok. haven't been on here in about 2 years. and really i'm not starting again. but i need to get this out in writing somehow. i need to tell someone even if there is really no one reading this. i can't be all secretive about it forever.
a lot has changed in 2 years. and i'm not gonna bother with a catch up. i'm just going right in....
So there is this guy. He, my roommate, and I are planning on living together next year. We're all really close. I love them to death. But this guy...well we hooked up a few weeks ago. It was THE.BEST.SEX. i have ever had. We hooked up a second time. It was better. My roomie found out. He went apeshit that we were going to destroy friendships and what not. (to clarify said guy and i had already discussed this and made agreements. we just wanted...benefits... And I'm not exactly sure why or how this affects roomie so much but it did.) Being that we are all so close guy and I decided to call things off. Now I still want to hook up again. I mean. BEST.SEX. can't be dropped like it's nothing. Now the problem feels as if it's grown. You see now I'm starting to think I may actually have a crush on this guy. Now, please understand. I don't want a relationship or anything serious. I just want to date and hook up. He's fun. Sweet. Sexy. I mean, it's all I could ask for right now. Just fun. But I also can't admit to liking him. And I think he avoids hanging out with me when he's alone. Whenever he comes over he has our female friend in tow (who he may like but she's taken). And I feel so high school thinking like this. But I can't help it. I am crushing hard. And I just dont know what to do. I mean yeah I should just not do or say anything and let the feeling pass. after all he is one of my best friends. but then again the sex. (btw he said it was the best too. and not to me...to the guys). ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh i'm so frustrated! i just want to hook up with him again. and it's really hard to chill everyday and have that stupid young bitch on the couch between us. personally i like her. she's sweet and sexy and honestly i'd hook up with her too if it was legal. (ew i feel like a child molester haha in my defense she'll be 18 in june) but i just wish that he and i could chill just the 2 of us sometime soon. that's the only way this will work. :/
a lot has changed in 2 years. and i'm not gonna bother with a catch up. i'm just going right in....
So there is this guy. He, my roommate, and I are planning on living together next year. We're all really close. I love them to death. But this guy...well we hooked up a few weeks ago. It was THE.BEST.SEX. i have ever had. We hooked up a second time. It was better. My roomie found out. He went apeshit that we were going to destroy friendships and what not. (to clarify said guy and i had already discussed this and made agreements. we just wanted...benefits... And I'm not exactly sure why or how this affects roomie so much but it did.) Being that we are all so close guy and I decided to call things off. Now I still want to hook up again. I mean. BEST.SEX. can't be dropped like it's nothing. Now the problem feels as if it's grown. You see now I'm starting to think I may actually have a crush on this guy. Now, please understand. I don't want a relationship or anything serious. I just want to date and hook up. He's fun. Sweet. Sexy. I mean, it's all I could ask for right now. Just fun. But I also can't admit to liking him. And I think he avoids hanging out with me when he's alone. Whenever he comes over he has our female friend in tow (who he may like but she's taken). And I feel so high school thinking like this. But I can't help it. I am crushing hard. And I just dont know what to do. I mean yeah I should just not do or say anything and let the feeling pass. after all he is one of my best friends. but then again the sex. (btw he said it was the best too. and not to me...to the guys). ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh i'm so frustrated! i just want to hook up with him again. and it's really hard to chill everyday and have that stupid young bitch on the couch between us. personally i like her. she's sweet and sexy and honestly i'd hook up with her too if it was legal. (ew i feel like a child molester haha in my defense she'll be 18 in june) but i just wish that he and i could chill just the 2 of us sometime soon. that's the only way this will work. :/