(Put Me Back Together) Frost Bite (32/33)
Title: Put Me Back Together
Part: Chapter 32: Frost Bite
Author: Squeeka Cuomo
Rating: PG
Character(s)/Pairing(s): Kurt/Puck, Burt Hummel, Mercedes Jones, Finn Hudson, Quinn Fabray, Emma Pillsbury, Will Schuester, Tina Cohen-Chang, Artie Abrams, Rachel Berry, Santana Lopez, Brittany S. Pierce, Mike Chang, Matt Rutherford
Author’s Note: The title and opening quote for this fic come from the beautiful Weezer song, “Put Me Back Together.” You can find it here.
- I know there are tons of spoilers out for the upcoming episodes. Please don’t post them in the comments.
- This chapter is dedicated, with much love, to big_scoop for his PMBT inspired fan mix Basket Case. And to na_shao for her beautiful artwork. Thank you both, guys!
Warning: This takes place directly after “Sectionals.” Everything up to that point is considered fair game. There are spoilers if you haven’t seen the first 13 episodes.
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Summary: All it takes is one moment to break Kurt apart. How many will it take to put not only himself but Puck back together?
Put Me Back TogetherChapter 32: Frost Bite
Before Kurt took one step into WMHS the next morning, he made a promise to himself.
It was stupid and pretty ridiculous, but it was a vow that he needed to keep.
No matter what.
As he walked down the hall towards his locker, Kurt kept his eyes forward and focused. Because, as he’d just told himself outside… he wouldn’t go in search of Puck. He would play it cool, calm, and collected until he had reason to act otherwise. Then, if Puck should approach him or corner him, Kurt would take his cues from the other boy. Since, as it was, he had absolutely no clue how to act after what had happened last night.
The night before, Puck hadn’t called or texted him, leaving Kurt feeling as if he’d been stranded in space. He’d felt lost and confused, and his dad’s question about if they were working things out had only served to confuse him more. (In the end the only answer he’d been able to come up with for his dad had been an exasperated shrug.)
But as first period passed and lunch rolled around and the most he’d seen of Puck was the back of his mohawked head… Kurt realized something:
Puck was avoiding him.
And not just avoiding him either.
No, Puck was actually going out of his way to stay away from Kurt.
At first, Kurt had thought he was just being paranoid. After all, they didn’t have the same class schedules. So it made sense that they wouldn’t be near one another every minute of the day. But when Kurt had seen Puck take one look at him and all but run in the opposite direction, he hadknown. There was just no other explanation for why he hadn’t seen Puck even in passing.
So for the rest of the day, Kurt went out of his way to try and Puck’s attention. But the most he got was yelled at in their seventh period class for not paying attention. Afterward, when the teacher went back to her Power Point presentation, Kurt turned to look at Puck once more. But Puck’s eyes were focused straight ahead, trained on the flashing colors of the presentation. Which was telling in and of itself, because Puck never paid that kind of attention in class.
As the class went on, Kurt kept sneaking glances at Puck out of the corner of his eye. Kurt wanted to try and confront him after class but as soon as the last bell of the day rang, Puck jumped up and pushed his way out of the room. And watching him go, Kurt cursed himself for not having the foresight to gather up his books before class let out. Because based on Puck’s earlier behavior, it should have been obvious that he would disappear the first chance he got.
Hastily grabbing his things, Kurt raced out of the room, ignoring Jacob Ben Israel’s complaints about him being pushy. Once he stepped into the stream of milling students, Kurt began frantically searching the halls for any sign of Puck. Unfortunately though, everyone in the entire school seemed to be packed into that one hall, because he couldn’t seem to move more than a foot at a time. To make matters worse, everyone seemed to look exactly the same. The only noticeable difference was that he could tell the boys from the girls. And Puck was nowhere to be seen.
Pushing his way through the crowd, Kurt made it to the main hallway just in time to see Puck slipping out the front door. And even though Kurt hadn’t stopped by his locker to grab his coat and the books he needed in order to do his homework, he shoved his way through the throngs of students. Some of them shouted at him, while others retaliated with their elbows, but Kurt ignored them. He needed to get to Puck.
Once outside, Kurt ran straight to his Navigator, attempting to pull his keys out of his bags as he did. After a few fumbled attempts, he managed to extricate them but not without having to slow down a little bit first. The second Kurt got to his car he shoved the keys into the lock and wrenched the door open. His heart was pounding and his breath coming in short little gasps, but he didn’t stop to breathe.
As he jumped inside, Kurt realized that he had no clue where Puck had parked that morning or if he was even still in the parking lot. For all he knew, Puck could have been the first off of the school’s property and halfway home by now.
Kurt, however, wasn’t about to give up that easily.
Turning the car’s ignition with a little more force than was really necessary, Kurt began to frantically search the WMHS parking lot for any sign of Puck or his truck. Kurt was parked in the middle of the lot and had a pretty good view of the cars around him, but he couldn’t find any sign of Puck amid the chaos. There were too many students jumping around and yelling to one another. It was like trying to find a couture garment at the local mall - impossible.
But just as he was about to give up hope, Kurt spotted Puck’s peeling blue truck waiting in line to leave the parking lot. There were a couple of cars behind it already, but Kurt figured that if he was to jump in line now, he’d be able to follow Puck to wherever he was going. Kurt knew that following him wasn’t much, but it was certainly a start.
With some of his anger turning into determination, Kurt carefully pulled out of his spot and moved towards the line of waiting cars as quickly as he could. Unfortunately though, another car managed to get there before him. Kurt tightened his grip on the steering wheel, his frustration waxing and his patience waning as he waited for them to move.
When it was Puck’s turn to pull out of the parking lot, Kurt yelled in anger. Of course Puck would get a head start. Of course Kurt would be stuck in traffic. Heaven forbid he catch a break.
Slouching down in his seat, Kurt tried not to lose hope. And as he waited for the cars in front of him to get a move on, he watched Puck’s truck. From what he could see, it drove down the street before making a left and disappearing from view.
The seconds quickly became minutes, and Kurt silently willed the cars in front of him to go. Then finally, after what seemed like forever, it was Kurt’s turn to pull out. Heart pounding and convinced he’d lost Puck, Kurt drove in the same direction Puck had a few minutes ago and made the same left hand turn.
Rounding the corner, Kurt expected to see an empty street lined with little houses that all had perfect little fences. What he didn’t expect to see was Puck’s truck parked there waiting for him. But as he pulled up behind the waiting vehicle, Puck turned on the motor and began to drive down the street.
Still irritated but also curious, Kurt followed him through the neighborhood, making two turns (a right and another left) as he did.
Once they were finally free of the rows of tiny houses, Puck pulled onto a street that seemed very familiar. (Though it wasn’t one that he generally drove down himself.) It was lined with nondescript strip malls and led to the edge of town. He’d only been out this way a few times before, but he knew exactly where Puck was heading.
Now that Kurt had some idea of his destination, he felt more… not comfortable but confident. That wasn’t to say that he felt sure of himself or the situation at hand. But at least he knew that they’d be on familiar territory soon enough.
Kurt continued to follow Puck in silence for the next few minutes. The whole time he had to fight to keep his mind on the road and not think about what Puck’s problem could be. Because if he were to let his mind wander down that road, Kurt knew he’d end up in an accident.
When the truck pulled up to the edge of the cornfield, Kurt pulled in next to him and parked. The Navigator’s motor was barely off when Kurt yanked his keys out of the ignition and threw them onto the car’s seat. And after hopping out of the car, Kurt stormed over to the driver’s side of the truck.
When he saw Puck leaning against the peeling door, his arms crossed over his chest like nothing was wrong…
Kurt felt something inside of himself snap.
And as he stared at Puck standing there, looking put out, Kurt didn’t even notice that it had begun to drizzle. He also didn’t notice that he wasn’t wearing his coat.
“What do you want, Hummel?” Puck’s voice was cold, disinterested, but his eyes were resolute.
Without thinking, Kurt spat out the first thing that came to mind. “Hummel? We’re back to that now?”
“Yeah, well… It is your name.” Puck shrugged as if that solved everything.
“No, it isn’t.” At Kurt’s proclamation, Puck raised one eyebrow in silent question. “You know what I mean.”
Puck just rolled his eyes as he shifted his weight from one foot to the other. “Whatever, dude.”
As Puck said the word “dude,” Kurt clamped his mouth tightly shut. He knew Puck had chosen the offending word on purpose. And he wasn’t about to give him the satisfaction of seeing how much it irritated him.
For a minute, Kurt stared at Puck, wondering what had happened between last night and today to cause this. The change was so unbelievable, and it was almost like the past month and a half hadn’t happened at all.
Well, that wasn’t entirely true. A month and a half ago, Kurt knew Puck wouldn’t have gone anywhere with him if his life depended on it. But still, it felt like they were back to square one nonetheless.
“What happened?” Kurt’s voice softened a little as he studied the boy across from him. “Is this….” All of a sudden, something occurred to Kurt. “Is this because of last night? When I wouldn’t let you keep… keep kissing me?”
In response, Puck snorted and rolled his eyes. But he didn’t say anything else, which only upset Kurt more.
“Tell me what the problem is!” Kurt felt like stomping his foot in irritation, but he refused to stoop to such childish lows. “Tell me what’s wrong!”
Again, Puck didn’t answer. His mouth was set into a hard line, and his eyes were colder than before.
Kurt sucked in a ragged breath of cold air that burned his lungs. And for the first time since setting foot in the field, he realized that it was raining. But instead of just drizzling now, it was coming down in thick slushy gobs that couldn’t seem to decide if they were rain or snow. Kurt could feel the freezing mixture sliding down the back of his sweater and matting his hair against his forehead. The freezing cold left him shivering and miserable, but he wasn’t going to run away now.
As he began to shake, Puck continued to stare at him, only blinking occasionally. And when it became obvious that he still wasn’t going to say anything, Kurt felt his temper flare again. “Tell me!”
“Why should I tell you anything?” Puck narrowed his eyes at Kurt, as if looking for a weak spot. “It’s not like it matters.” His tone was matter-of-fact, like he truly meant what he was saying.
But Kurt refused to believe that Puck was as unaffected as he was acting.
It just wasn’t possible.
Not after everything.
“Of course it matters!” Kurt spat out the words, anger and desperation filling every syllable.
“Why?” It was such a simple question, one that shouldn’t have even been asked. The reason should have been obvious to him. “Why does it matter, Hummel?” Puck stared at Kurt, all but demanding as answer.
And rather than try to come up with some well thought out, reasonable explanation, Kurt just spoke, not realizing what he was saying. “Because I love you, that’s why!”
As soon as the words were out, Kurt threw his hand over his mouth in complete horror. His eye widening in shock, he stood there staring at Puck as white hot tears began to slide down his cheeks to mix with the freezing rain.
A few weeks ago, Mercedes had asked Kurt if he was in love with Puck.
At the time, he’d said that he didn’t now. But now that he’d said the words, Kurt wondered just how long he’d felt that way about Puck. Because up till that moment, Kurt hadn’t realized just how true it was.
But now that it was out there, it seemed so obvious.
He was in love with Noah Puckerman.
He didn’t know how that had happened or when, but it had.
And to make matters worse, not only did Puck now know, but he also looked like he couldn’t have cared less.
“You done?” Puck’s words were like a slap in the face to Kurt. “Cause I got places to go.”
Kurt blinked rapidly a few times as his mind tried to process what had just happened. Unfortunately though, his brain suddenly felt like it was trapped in a fog. “I… Yeah. I’m done.”
“Good.” Puck pushed himself away from his truck and pulled open the door. He hopped into the cab and drove off without a backward glance.
As the truck disappeared down the street, Kurt stood in the freezing rain, watching him go.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Kurt wasn’t sure how long he stood out in the rain, watching the road Puck had disappeared down.
Realistically, Kurt knew that Puck wasn’t going to have a sudden change of heart and come back to scoop him up in his arms. Sure, it would have been a major relief after the conversation (he refused to call it a fight) they’d just had. But realistically, there was just no way that that was going to happen.
But he’d stood there watching the road anyway.
By the time Kurt had finally accepted that Puck was long gone and crawled back into the Navigator, he was soaked. His hair had become a sticky gelled mess, and the silk button down he had on under his sweater had been ruined. But as he turned the heat on full blast, Kurt wasn’t able to care. Not because he was freezing, but because he felt numb from the inside out.
Barely realizing what he was doing, he drove back to William McKinley to grab his coat and books. However, when he pulled into the parking lot, he found it empty, save for one lonely car. But Kurt walked up to the school and pulled on the door anyway. Just like he’d expected though, it had already been locked for the day. And his coat and books had been locked inside.
After returning to his car, Kurt grabbed the steering wheel and pressed his forehead into it. The heat had begun to break through the chill in his body. But Kurt continued to shiver as the wheel bit into his skin anyway.
After a while, when the shaking had subsided some, Kurt drove home. The whole way his eyes burned with tears he refused to let fall. And even though it was a relatively short drive from the school to his house, it seemed like hours had passed before he finally pulled into his driveway.
As he trudged up the steps of the front porch, Kurt vaguely recalled seeing his dad’s Jeep parked in the driveway. At first, he’d thought that it was too early for Burt to be home from work. But as Kurt pushed open the front door, he realized that it was almost completely dark out already. And as that hit him, Kurt wondered just how long he’d stayed in the field (or even the parking lot for that matter).
Kurt was no more than five feet inside the front door when his dad came walking out of the kitchen, a beer in hand.
“Whoa, what happened to you?” Burt took another few steps forward and looked Kurt up and down. “You look like a drowned rat.”
Burt’s words rang painfully through Kurt’s head, making his ears burn in irritation. He knew he looked awful, and he really didn’t need that pointed out to him. Especially not at that moment.
In response, Kurt just glared at his father before stalking off in the direction of his bedroom for a long, hot shower.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
As Kurt stood under the stream of steaming hot water, he pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes. He tried to tell himself that it was out of exasperation and not because he was trying to hold back a fresh wave of tears that was threatening to overtake him.
But he knew better.
The tears were there, had been since he’d stepped under the deluge of water.
As he took a deep breath, Kurt ran his hands through his hair, pushing his sopping bangs out of his face. The tension in his chest had subsided, and the back of his throat was no longer aching with the urge to cry. But even though that was gone, he still felt miserable. Because the feelings of horror and shock had followed him home as the scene in the field continued to play and replay itself in his mind.
However, the part that had stood out the most of course was when Kurt had told Puck he loved him. He still couldn’t get over the fact that not only had he said it, but that he’d meant it wholeheartedly.
He’d only told one other person that he loved them. And that was Finn. But when he’d said it to him… it had been disguised as the title of a ballad. Finn, of course, hadn’t understood, and Kurt had been able to hide underneath the cloak that the title had created for him.
But today, with Puck, there’d been no clever little ploys to hide behind. It had come out in a moment of pure honesty.
And Puck had responded by looking at him as if it meant absolutely nothing.
It was an image that Kurt was pretty sure he’d never be able to forget.
That didn’t mean he wouldn’t try however.
Grabbing his favorite exfoliating loofah and organic cucumber scrub, Kurt began to wash away the remainders of the chill that had set into his bones and muscles.
And hopefully along with it, the sight of Puck’s expressionless eyes that seemed to be seared into his memory.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Kurt tossed and turned in his bed, alternating between throwing off his covers and pulling them back on. His dreams had been plagued by images of a weeping Quinn surrounded by gigantic crows that cawed and nipped at her bloodstained dress.
Finn and Rachel were there as well, shooting one another furtive glances as they sang nonsensical lines from random songs. Even Mercedes and Burt had made an appearance or two, waltzing through the whole mess with casserole dishes in their arms. But worst of all was that sitting in the middle of the scene was Puck’s old truck with him perched on the hood like nothing mattered.
Kurt himself wasn’t there; instead he was watching everything unfold, entranced by the awful display. But when Quinn shrieked in horror as a crow pulled at her beautiful blonde hair, Kurt jolted up, totally awake.
Wiping at the thin sheen of sweat on his forehead, Kurt climbed out of bed and headed towards the bathroom. He didn’t particularly want to get up, but he wasn’t in a hurry to revisit his dreams either. So climbing out of bed for a few minutes seemed like the best solution.
After emptying his bladder and getting a drink of water, Kurt flipped off the light. He headed out of the bathroom, hoping that he’d be able to sleep peacefully now. But as he walked farther into the room, he found Puck standing at the bottom of the steps staring at him.
Squeeka Cuomo’s Notes
- The title and opening quote for this fic come from the beautiful Weezer song, “Put Me Back Together.” You can find it here.
- Important: The final chapter will be posted next Friday. Not Thursday.
- As always, thank you to everyone. I love and appreciate each and every one of your comments. Your support is amazing.
- Quack: I’m so glad that you’re my beta. You are amazing and I can’t believe you put up with me. Thank you.
- Reviews are love.
Put Me Back Together
Chapter 1: Kiss Me Goodbye
Chapter 2: Of Soirees and Sarongs
Chapter 3: Not So Subtle
Chapter 4: Late Arrivals
Chapter 5: Breaking Point
Chapter 6: Empty Hallway
Chapter 7: Cleaning up the Mess
Chapter 8: Dirty Laundry
Chapter 9: Gossip Mongers
Chapter 10: Just Breathe
Chapter 11: Damon Salvatore vs. Dexter Morgan
Chapter 12: Cloudy - Chance of Tension
Chapter 13: Pocket Squares
Chapter 14: All Apologies
Chapter 15: The “F” Word
Chapter 16: I’ve Come Undone
Chapter 17: Not So Blissfully Numb
Chapter 18: Drunken Lullabies
Chapter 19: Unwanted Visitor
Chapter 20: Please
Chapter 21: Free For All
Chapter 22: Raditude
Chapter 23: Like Father
Chapter 24: What Other Reason
Chapter 25: Hummel Tires and Lube
Chapter 26: Nice To Meet You
Chapter 27: Comfort Food
Chapter 28: Now I’m Jell-O
Chapter 29: Wise Up
Chapter 30: November Becomes December
Chapter 31: Longtime Sunshine
Part: Chapter 32: Frost Bite
Author: Squeeka Cuomo
Rating: PG
Character(s)/Pairing(s): Kurt/Puck, Burt Hummel, Mercedes Jones, Finn Hudson, Quinn Fabray, Emma Pillsbury, Will Schuester, Tina Cohen-Chang, Artie Abrams, Rachel Berry, Santana Lopez, Brittany S. Pierce, Mike Chang, Matt Rutherford
Author’s Note: The title and opening quote for this fic come from the beautiful Weezer song, “Put Me Back Together.” You can find it here.
- I know there are tons of spoilers out for the upcoming episodes. Please don’t post them in the comments.
- This chapter is dedicated, with much love, to big_scoop for his PMBT inspired fan mix Basket Case. And to na_shao for her beautiful artwork. Thank you both, guys!
Warning: This takes place directly after “Sectionals.” Everything up to that point is considered fair game. There are spoilers if you haven’t seen the first 13 episodes.
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Summary: All it takes is one moment to break Kurt apart. How many will it take to put not only himself but Puck back together?
Put Me Back TogetherChapter 32: Frost Bite
Before Kurt took one step into WMHS the next morning, he made a promise to himself.
It was stupid and pretty ridiculous, but it was a vow that he needed to keep.
No matter what.
As he walked down the hall towards his locker, Kurt kept his eyes forward and focused. Because, as he’d just told himself outside… he wouldn’t go in search of Puck. He would play it cool, calm, and collected until he had reason to act otherwise. Then, if Puck should approach him or corner him, Kurt would take his cues from the other boy. Since, as it was, he had absolutely no clue how to act after what had happened last night.
The night before, Puck hadn’t called or texted him, leaving Kurt feeling as if he’d been stranded in space. He’d felt lost and confused, and his dad’s question about if they were working things out had only served to confuse him more. (In the end the only answer he’d been able to come up with for his dad had been an exasperated shrug.)
But as first period passed and lunch rolled around and the most he’d seen of Puck was the back of his mohawked head… Kurt realized something:
Puck was avoiding him.
And not just avoiding him either.
No, Puck was actually going out of his way to stay away from Kurt.
At first, Kurt had thought he was just being paranoid. After all, they didn’t have the same class schedules. So it made sense that they wouldn’t be near one another every minute of the day. But when Kurt had seen Puck take one look at him and all but run in the opposite direction, he hadknown. There was just no other explanation for why he hadn’t seen Puck even in passing.
So for the rest of the day, Kurt went out of his way to try and Puck’s attention. But the most he got was yelled at in their seventh period class for not paying attention. Afterward, when the teacher went back to her Power Point presentation, Kurt turned to look at Puck once more. But Puck’s eyes were focused straight ahead, trained on the flashing colors of the presentation. Which was telling in and of itself, because Puck never paid that kind of attention in class.
As the class went on, Kurt kept sneaking glances at Puck out of the corner of his eye. Kurt wanted to try and confront him after class but as soon as the last bell of the day rang, Puck jumped up and pushed his way out of the room. And watching him go, Kurt cursed himself for not having the foresight to gather up his books before class let out. Because based on Puck’s earlier behavior, it should have been obvious that he would disappear the first chance he got.
Hastily grabbing his things, Kurt raced out of the room, ignoring Jacob Ben Israel’s complaints about him being pushy. Once he stepped into the stream of milling students, Kurt began frantically searching the halls for any sign of Puck. Unfortunately though, everyone in the entire school seemed to be packed into that one hall, because he couldn’t seem to move more than a foot at a time. To make matters worse, everyone seemed to look exactly the same. The only noticeable difference was that he could tell the boys from the girls. And Puck was nowhere to be seen.
Pushing his way through the crowd, Kurt made it to the main hallway just in time to see Puck slipping out the front door. And even though Kurt hadn’t stopped by his locker to grab his coat and the books he needed in order to do his homework, he shoved his way through the throngs of students. Some of them shouted at him, while others retaliated with their elbows, but Kurt ignored them. He needed to get to Puck.
Once outside, Kurt ran straight to his Navigator, attempting to pull his keys out of his bags as he did. After a few fumbled attempts, he managed to extricate them but not without having to slow down a little bit first. The second Kurt got to his car he shoved the keys into the lock and wrenched the door open. His heart was pounding and his breath coming in short little gasps, but he didn’t stop to breathe.
As he jumped inside, Kurt realized that he had no clue where Puck had parked that morning or if he was even still in the parking lot. For all he knew, Puck could have been the first off of the school’s property and halfway home by now.
Kurt, however, wasn’t about to give up that easily.
Turning the car’s ignition with a little more force than was really necessary, Kurt began to frantically search the WMHS parking lot for any sign of Puck or his truck. Kurt was parked in the middle of the lot and had a pretty good view of the cars around him, but he couldn’t find any sign of Puck amid the chaos. There were too many students jumping around and yelling to one another. It was like trying to find a couture garment at the local mall - impossible.
But just as he was about to give up hope, Kurt spotted Puck’s peeling blue truck waiting in line to leave the parking lot. There were a couple of cars behind it already, but Kurt figured that if he was to jump in line now, he’d be able to follow Puck to wherever he was going. Kurt knew that following him wasn’t much, but it was certainly a start.
With some of his anger turning into determination, Kurt carefully pulled out of his spot and moved towards the line of waiting cars as quickly as he could. Unfortunately though, another car managed to get there before him. Kurt tightened his grip on the steering wheel, his frustration waxing and his patience waning as he waited for them to move.
When it was Puck’s turn to pull out of the parking lot, Kurt yelled in anger. Of course Puck would get a head start. Of course Kurt would be stuck in traffic. Heaven forbid he catch a break.
Slouching down in his seat, Kurt tried not to lose hope. And as he waited for the cars in front of him to get a move on, he watched Puck’s truck. From what he could see, it drove down the street before making a left and disappearing from view.
The seconds quickly became minutes, and Kurt silently willed the cars in front of him to go. Then finally, after what seemed like forever, it was Kurt’s turn to pull out. Heart pounding and convinced he’d lost Puck, Kurt drove in the same direction Puck had a few minutes ago and made the same left hand turn.
Rounding the corner, Kurt expected to see an empty street lined with little houses that all had perfect little fences. What he didn’t expect to see was Puck’s truck parked there waiting for him. But as he pulled up behind the waiting vehicle, Puck turned on the motor and began to drive down the street.
Still irritated but also curious, Kurt followed him through the neighborhood, making two turns (a right and another left) as he did.
Once they were finally free of the rows of tiny houses, Puck pulled onto a street that seemed very familiar. (Though it wasn’t one that he generally drove down himself.) It was lined with nondescript strip malls and led to the edge of town. He’d only been out this way a few times before, but he knew exactly where Puck was heading.
Now that Kurt had some idea of his destination, he felt more… not comfortable but confident. That wasn’t to say that he felt sure of himself or the situation at hand. But at least he knew that they’d be on familiar territory soon enough.
Kurt continued to follow Puck in silence for the next few minutes. The whole time he had to fight to keep his mind on the road and not think about what Puck’s problem could be. Because if he were to let his mind wander down that road, Kurt knew he’d end up in an accident.
When the truck pulled up to the edge of the cornfield, Kurt pulled in next to him and parked. The Navigator’s motor was barely off when Kurt yanked his keys out of the ignition and threw them onto the car’s seat. And after hopping out of the car, Kurt stormed over to the driver’s side of the truck.
When he saw Puck leaning against the peeling door, his arms crossed over his chest like nothing was wrong…
Kurt felt something inside of himself snap.
And as he stared at Puck standing there, looking put out, Kurt didn’t even notice that it had begun to drizzle. He also didn’t notice that he wasn’t wearing his coat.
“What do you want, Hummel?” Puck’s voice was cold, disinterested, but his eyes were resolute.
Without thinking, Kurt spat out the first thing that came to mind. “Hummel? We’re back to that now?”
“Yeah, well… It is your name.” Puck shrugged as if that solved everything.
“No, it isn’t.” At Kurt’s proclamation, Puck raised one eyebrow in silent question. “You know what I mean.”
Puck just rolled his eyes as he shifted his weight from one foot to the other. “Whatever, dude.”
As Puck said the word “dude,” Kurt clamped his mouth tightly shut. He knew Puck had chosen the offending word on purpose. And he wasn’t about to give him the satisfaction of seeing how much it irritated him.
For a minute, Kurt stared at Puck, wondering what had happened between last night and today to cause this. The change was so unbelievable, and it was almost like the past month and a half hadn’t happened at all.
Well, that wasn’t entirely true. A month and a half ago, Kurt knew Puck wouldn’t have gone anywhere with him if his life depended on it. But still, it felt like they were back to square one nonetheless.
“What happened?” Kurt’s voice softened a little as he studied the boy across from him. “Is this….” All of a sudden, something occurred to Kurt. “Is this because of last night? When I wouldn’t let you keep… keep kissing me?”
In response, Puck snorted and rolled his eyes. But he didn’t say anything else, which only upset Kurt more.
“Tell me what the problem is!” Kurt felt like stomping his foot in irritation, but he refused to stoop to such childish lows. “Tell me what’s wrong!”
Again, Puck didn’t answer. His mouth was set into a hard line, and his eyes were colder than before.
Kurt sucked in a ragged breath of cold air that burned his lungs. And for the first time since setting foot in the field, he realized that it was raining. But instead of just drizzling now, it was coming down in thick slushy gobs that couldn’t seem to decide if they were rain or snow. Kurt could feel the freezing mixture sliding down the back of his sweater and matting his hair against his forehead. The freezing cold left him shivering and miserable, but he wasn’t going to run away now.
As he began to shake, Puck continued to stare at him, only blinking occasionally. And when it became obvious that he still wasn’t going to say anything, Kurt felt his temper flare again. “Tell me!”
“Why should I tell you anything?” Puck narrowed his eyes at Kurt, as if looking for a weak spot. “It’s not like it matters.” His tone was matter-of-fact, like he truly meant what he was saying.
But Kurt refused to believe that Puck was as unaffected as he was acting.
It just wasn’t possible.
Not after everything.
“Of course it matters!” Kurt spat out the words, anger and desperation filling every syllable.
“Why?” It was such a simple question, one that shouldn’t have even been asked. The reason should have been obvious to him. “Why does it matter, Hummel?” Puck stared at Kurt, all but demanding as answer.
And rather than try to come up with some well thought out, reasonable explanation, Kurt just spoke, not realizing what he was saying. “Because I love you, that’s why!”
As soon as the words were out, Kurt threw his hand over his mouth in complete horror. His eye widening in shock, he stood there staring at Puck as white hot tears began to slide down his cheeks to mix with the freezing rain.
A few weeks ago, Mercedes had asked Kurt if he was in love with Puck.
At the time, he’d said that he didn’t now. But now that he’d said the words, Kurt wondered just how long he’d felt that way about Puck. Because up till that moment, Kurt hadn’t realized just how true it was.
But now that it was out there, it seemed so obvious.
He was in love with Noah Puckerman.
He didn’t know how that had happened or when, but it had.
And to make matters worse, not only did Puck now know, but he also looked like he couldn’t have cared less.
“You done?” Puck’s words were like a slap in the face to Kurt. “Cause I got places to go.”
Kurt blinked rapidly a few times as his mind tried to process what had just happened. Unfortunately though, his brain suddenly felt like it was trapped in a fog. “I… Yeah. I’m done.”
“Good.” Puck pushed himself away from his truck and pulled open the door. He hopped into the cab and drove off without a backward glance.
As the truck disappeared down the street, Kurt stood in the freezing rain, watching him go.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Kurt wasn’t sure how long he stood out in the rain, watching the road Puck had disappeared down.
Realistically, Kurt knew that Puck wasn’t going to have a sudden change of heart and come back to scoop him up in his arms. Sure, it would have been a major relief after the conversation (he refused to call it a fight) they’d just had. But realistically, there was just no way that that was going to happen.
But he’d stood there watching the road anyway.
By the time Kurt had finally accepted that Puck was long gone and crawled back into the Navigator, he was soaked. His hair had become a sticky gelled mess, and the silk button down he had on under his sweater had been ruined. But as he turned the heat on full blast, Kurt wasn’t able to care. Not because he was freezing, but because he felt numb from the inside out.
Barely realizing what he was doing, he drove back to William McKinley to grab his coat and books. However, when he pulled into the parking lot, he found it empty, save for one lonely car. But Kurt walked up to the school and pulled on the door anyway. Just like he’d expected though, it had already been locked for the day. And his coat and books had been locked inside.
After returning to his car, Kurt grabbed the steering wheel and pressed his forehead into it. The heat had begun to break through the chill in his body. But Kurt continued to shiver as the wheel bit into his skin anyway.
After a while, when the shaking had subsided some, Kurt drove home. The whole way his eyes burned with tears he refused to let fall. And even though it was a relatively short drive from the school to his house, it seemed like hours had passed before he finally pulled into his driveway.
As he trudged up the steps of the front porch, Kurt vaguely recalled seeing his dad’s Jeep parked in the driveway. At first, he’d thought that it was too early for Burt to be home from work. But as Kurt pushed open the front door, he realized that it was almost completely dark out already. And as that hit him, Kurt wondered just how long he’d stayed in the field (or even the parking lot for that matter).
Kurt was no more than five feet inside the front door when his dad came walking out of the kitchen, a beer in hand.
“Whoa, what happened to you?” Burt took another few steps forward and looked Kurt up and down. “You look like a drowned rat.”
Burt’s words rang painfully through Kurt’s head, making his ears burn in irritation. He knew he looked awful, and he really didn’t need that pointed out to him. Especially not at that moment.
In response, Kurt just glared at his father before stalking off in the direction of his bedroom for a long, hot shower.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
As Kurt stood under the stream of steaming hot water, he pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes. He tried to tell himself that it was out of exasperation and not because he was trying to hold back a fresh wave of tears that was threatening to overtake him.
But he knew better.
The tears were there, had been since he’d stepped under the deluge of water.
As he took a deep breath, Kurt ran his hands through his hair, pushing his sopping bangs out of his face. The tension in his chest had subsided, and the back of his throat was no longer aching with the urge to cry. But even though that was gone, he still felt miserable. Because the feelings of horror and shock had followed him home as the scene in the field continued to play and replay itself in his mind.
However, the part that had stood out the most of course was when Kurt had told Puck he loved him. He still couldn’t get over the fact that not only had he said it, but that he’d meant it wholeheartedly.
He’d only told one other person that he loved them. And that was Finn. But when he’d said it to him… it had been disguised as the title of a ballad. Finn, of course, hadn’t understood, and Kurt had been able to hide underneath the cloak that the title had created for him.
But today, with Puck, there’d been no clever little ploys to hide behind. It had come out in a moment of pure honesty.
And Puck had responded by looking at him as if it meant absolutely nothing.
It was an image that Kurt was pretty sure he’d never be able to forget.
That didn’t mean he wouldn’t try however.
Grabbing his favorite exfoliating loofah and organic cucumber scrub, Kurt began to wash away the remainders of the chill that had set into his bones and muscles.
And hopefully along with it, the sight of Puck’s expressionless eyes that seemed to be seared into his memory.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Kurt tossed and turned in his bed, alternating between throwing off his covers and pulling them back on. His dreams had been plagued by images of a weeping Quinn surrounded by gigantic crows that cawed and nipped at her bloodstained dress.
Finn and Rachel were there as well, shooting one another furtive glances as they sang nonsensical lines from random songs. Even Mercedes and Burt had made an appearance or two, waltzing through the whole mess with casserole dishes in their arms. But worst of all was that sitting in the middle of the scene was Puck’s old truck with him perched on the hood like nothing mattered.
Kurt himself wasn’t there; instead he was watching everything unfold, entranced by the awful display. But when Quinn shrieked in horror as a crow pulled at her beautiful blonde hair, Kurt jolted up, totally awake.
Wiping at the thin sheen of sweat on his forehead, Kurt climbed out of bed and headed towards the bathroom. He didn’t particularly want to get up, but he wasn’t in a hurry to revisit his dreams either. So climbing out of bed for a few minutes seemed like the best solution.
After emptying his bladder and getting a drink of water, Kurt flipped off the light. He headed out of the bathroom, hoping that he’d be able to sleep peacefully now. But as he walked farther into the room, he found Puck standing at the bottom of the steps staring at him.
Squeeka Cuomo’s Notes
- The title and opening quote for this fic come from the beautiful Weezer song, “Put Me Back Together.” You can find it here.
- Important: The final chapter will be posted next Friday. Not Thursday.
- As always, thank you to everyone. I love and appreciate each and every one of your comments. Your support is amazing.
- Quack: I’m so glad that you’re my beta. You are amazing and I can’t believe you put up with me. Thank you.
- Reviews are love.
Put Me Back Together
Chapter 1: Kiss Me Goodbye
Chapter 2: Of Soirees and Sarongs
Chapter 3: Not So Subtle
Chapter 4: Late Arrivals
Chapter 5: Breaking Point
Chapter 6: Empty Hallway
Chapter 7: Cleaning up the Mess
Chapter 8: Dirty Laundry
Chapter 9: Gossip Mongers
Chapter 10: Just Breathe
Chapter 11: Damon Salvatore vs. Dexter Morgan
Chapter 12: Cloudy - Chance of Tension
Chapter 13: Pocket Squares
Chapter 14: All Apologies
Chapter 15: The “F” Word
Chapter 16: I’ve Come Undone
Chapter 17: Not So Blissfully Numb
Chapter 18: Drunken Lullabies
Chapter 19: Unwanted Visitor
Chapter 20: Please
Chapter 21: Free For All
Chapter 22: Raditude
Chapter 23: Like Father
Chapter 24: What Other Reason
Chapter 25: Hummel Tires and Lube
Chapter 26: Nice To Meet You
Chapter 27: Comfort Food
Chapter 28: Now I’m Jell-O
Chapter 29: Wise Up
Chapter 30: November Becomes December
Chapter 31: Longtime Sunshine