Yes, men want me
There’s a new guy in my office who is only working two days a week on a project for one of my coworkers, and I think he's only here for a month or two. Anyway, yesterday was his second day, and we talked for a little bit in the kitchen and it became obvious to me that he was going to ask me out.
How did I know this? Because we were talking about how I came to live in the Czech Republic and I gave him my canned answer of visiting Caroline and wanting to stay because I fell in love with Prague.
"You mean, you fell in love with a Czech guy," he said. And I told him no, that wasn't part of my story. But slipping in the boyfriend question made his intentions completely clear. The problem, though, is that I’m too shy to say, “No, but I do have an Austrian boyfriend.”
Besides, he should know better. I’ve been here for a year and a half, so, even if I had fallen in love with a Czech, it wouldn’t mean that we were still together. Plus, this is such an expat city, so I could’ve fallen in love with a Brit or a Bulgarian or a Hungarian. It was sloppy investigative work on his part!
That said, I am largely to blame for the way that I answered that question, and I need to work on that.
Anyway, I came into work today and the new guy had left me a note on my desk with his email address. And even though I knew it was coming and even though I think it’s sweet and flattering, it’s an awkward situation that I would’ve liked to avoid (and could’ve avoided had I told him I had a boyfriend!).
So, I emailed Chris about it, in part because I knew he’d be entertained by the story and also because I don’t know how to deal with it. Plus I used the opportunity to broach the subject of how you can turn someone who is interested in dating you into a friend, just for the sake of conversation. A recent Savage Love column dealt with the topic: a gay guy wrote in, saying, "Waaah! I just moved to a new city and I can't make friends because all the guys who want to hang out with me want to date me!" and Dan Savage answered, "Dude, stop trying to be friends with people who are sexually attracted to you. That's the problem."
Which means that I see guys like my new coworker and think, “Hey, he’s into me! We can be friends!” But, to the guy, it’s just insulting. So I should just reject him outright and let it go! But, easier said than done.
How did I know this? Because we were talking about how I came to live in the Czech Republic and I gave him my canned answer of visiting Caroline and wanting to stay because I fell in love with Prague.
"You mean, you fell in love with a Czech guy," he said. And I told him no, that wasn't part of my story. But slipping in the boyfriend question made his intentions completely clear. The problem, though, is that I’m too shy to say, “No, but I do have an Austrian boyfriend.”
Besides, he should know better. I’ve been here for a year and a half, so, even if I had fallen in love with a Czech, it wouldn’t mean that we were still together. Plus, this is such an expat city, so I could’ve fallen in love with a Brit or a Bulgarian or a Hungarian. It was sloppy investigative work on his part!
That said, I am largely to blame for the way that I answered that question, and I need to work on that.
Anyway, I came into work today and the new guy had left me a note on my desk with his email address. And even though I knew it was coming and even though I think it’s sweet and flattering, it’s an awkward situation that I would’ve liked to avoid (and could’ve avoided had I told him I had a boyfriend!).
So, I emailed Chris about it, in part because I knew he’d be entertained by the story and also because I don’t know how to deal with it. Plus I used the opportunity to broach the subject of how you can turn someone who is interested in dating you into a friend, just for the sake of conversation. A recent Savage Love column dealt with the topic: a gay guy wrote in, saying, "Waaah! I just moved to a new city and I can't make friends because all the guys who want to hang out with me want to date me!" and Dan Savage answered, "Dude, stop trying to be friends with people who are sexually attracted to you. That's the problem."
Which means that I see guys like my new coworker and think, “Hey, he’s into me! We can be friends!” But, to the guy, it’s just insulting. So I should just reject him outright and let it go! But, easier said than done.