Today is the first day of my thin life.
Lately I have had the appetite of a woolly mammoth. And my eating habits are getting worse and worse.
Most days, I'll have something to drink and eat some fake meat for breakfast. Once I'm at work, I'll usually caffeinate myself and see how long I can go before I have to grab some sort of granola or breakfast bar from my purse.
For lunch, it's a frozen dinner from Lean Cuisine or Healthy Choice. Frequently, I follow this up with yogurt (although I haven't been able to stomach much of it in the past week or so). Then I try very hard not to have another granola or breakfast bar in the afternoon but if my stomach growls, there isn't much choice.
Then I go home and have dinner.
I know that, theoretically, there isn't anything wrong with all of my snacking. Eating more frequently increases your metabolism, and I certainly wouldn't mind if mine were to go up a bit. That said, I'm afraid to get on my scale, because I know this isn't just an increased metabolism. I'm worried that I've put back on some of the weight I lost over the last several months. Leon even asked me how many pounds I gained back, so it isn't like I can live in denial.
I e-mailed him an article from a study that proved that some people have stronger triggers in their brain when they're around food. (Duh, right?) But it showed that it isn't as easy for some people to control their eating. I worry that my eating is sometimes compulsive, and Leon even expressed his desire for this to be so--then it could be treatable.
I told him I'd give it one more shot before I finally caved and saw a nutritionist. This was a couple of weeks ago. I think it's time to find that doctor's referral and get started.
Seriously, I don't think anything is as greatly tied to my sense of happiness than my body image. So, for those of you who've seen pictures of me, you can get a pretty good idea of how I feel about myself on a regular basis.
There's really no sense in keeping this on the back burner any longer.
Most days, I'll have something to drink and eat some fake meat for breakfast. Once I'm at work, I'll usually caffeinate myself and see how long I can go before I have to grab some sort of granola or breakfast bar from my purse.
For lunch, it's a frozen dinner from Lean Cuisine or Healthy Choice. Frequently, I follow this up with yogurt (although I haven't been able to stomach much of it in the past week or so). Then I try very hard not to have another granola or breakfast bar in the afternoon but if my stomach growls, there isn't much choice.
Then I go home and have dinner.
I know that, theoretically, there isn't anything wrong with all of my snacking. Eating more frequently increases your metabolism, and I certainly wouldn't mind if mine were to go up a bit. That said, I'm afraid to get on my scale, because I know this isn't just an increased metabolism. I'm worried that I've put back on some of the weight I lost over the last several months. Leon even asked me how many pounds I gained back, so it isn't like I can live in denial.
I e-mailed him an article from a study that proved that some people have stronger triggers in their brain when they're around food. (Duh, right?) But it showed that it isn't as easy for some people to control their eating. I worry that my eating is sometimes compulsive, and Leon even expressed his desire for this to be so--then it could be treatable.
I told him I'd give it one more shot before I finally caved and saw a nutritionist. This was a couple of weeks ago. I think it's time to find that doctor's referral and get started.
Seriously, I don't think anything is as greatly tied to my sense of happiness than my body image. So, for those of you who've seen pictures of me, you can get a pretty good idea of how I feel about myself on a regular basis.
There's really no sense in keeping this on the back burner any longer.