escalating rant w/teeth
I went to the dentist this morning. Private treatment is carried on upstairs, NHS treatment down in the basement. The chairs are wooden and straight-backed down here but upstairs they are squashy. Naturally, i went down to the basement.
As it happened, I didn’t need to have anything done so that's that for another few months. And two tier service or not, the dentist was very good (albeit a little slurred for 9.30 in the morning).
In the waiting room I texted an update to my Facebook. It was one of those semi- cryptic, "I want you to think that I’m talking about you, but when/if you accuse me, I’ll deny all knowledge/plead wide-eyed innocence" sort of updates. To my credit, I don’t do those very often. Because it's a a symptom of deep, unremitting sadness. Pathetic.
It's not uploaded yet. (I ran out of characters). And then, wouldn't you know it, my mood lifted. :-)
It's currently saved in 'drafts' to be uploaded the next time I’m in a bad mood. The bad mood really could happen at any time. :-{
The trouble is (and you may find this hard to believe), I am too damned nice for my own good. And any time some c*nt wants to make himself feel better about his own sh*tty life he takes it out on me. Yes, it is usually men who do this to me. It’s because their egos are - sorry, can be - that much bigger. Women are soooo much easier to get on with and be friends with in my humble opinion. I know it's uncool for a woman to say that and we're supposed to be all, “I get on so much better with men; all my close friends are men, whah whah whah” as though it's something to boast about (as if!) but that's not been my experience. Not at all.
It's obvious to me that these men are insecure and resentful because my life is possibly better/more interesting than theirs AND i come across as being the more intelligent. (By quite some considerable margin, i might add). Not that i would ever say such a thing to the person(s) in question or even suggest it because (a)I'm polite (b)I'm modest to a fault (c)I don't score points and (d)I really don't want to hurt anyones' feelings ever.
Now i would say those are the qualities of a fairly nice person, wouldn't you?
Anyway, back to the point: I am SICK to the TEETH of people who try to score points the whole time. I didn’t even know we were point scoring so why do they even bother? Not to mention the stupid bloody mind games. No, i'm not paranoid, thank you very much. It’s taken me a long time to learn to spot this particular kind of person. And it still amazes me, quite frankly, that, whilst i accept you might do that (score points) the fact that you choose to do it to ME is beyond the pale. BECAUSE I DON'T DO THAT.
What’s really crap is that I draw these people into my orbit from miles around. I don’t want to, but I do.
The other thing is that I leave myself wide open. Always have, always will. And I probably shouldn’t change that because i'm not the one with the problem, here. I make it my problem because, well---
You know why. I know you know. ;-)
As it happened, I didn’t need to have anything done so that's that for another few months. And two tier service or not, the dentist was very good (albeit a little slurred for 9.30 in the morning).
In the waiting room I texted an update to my Facebook. It was one of those semi- cryptic, "I want you to think that I’m talking about you, but when/if you accuse me, I’ll deny all knowledge/plead wide-eyed innocence" sort of updates. To my credit, I don’t do those very often. Because it's a a symptom of deep, unremitting sadness. Pathetic.
It's not uploaded yet. (I ran out of characters). And then, wouldn't you know it, my mood lifted. :-)
It's currently saved in 'drafts' to be uploaded the next time I’m in a bad mood. The bad mood really could happen at any time. :-{
The trouble is (and you may find this hard to believe), I am too damned nice for my own good. And any time some c*nt wants to make himself feel better about his own sh*tty life he takes it out on me. Yes, it is usually men who do this to me. It’s because their egos are - sorry, can be - that much bigger. Women are soooo much easier to get on with and be friends with in my humble opinion. I know it's uncool for a woman to say that and we're supposed to be all, “I get on so much better with men; all my close friends are men, whah whah whah” as though it's something to boast about (as if!) but that's not been my experience. Not at all.
It's obvious to me that these men are insecure and resentful because my life is possibly better/more interesting than theirs AND i come across as being the more intelligent. (By quite some considerable margin, i might add). Not that i would ever say such a thing to the person(s) in question or even suggest it because (a)I'm polite (b)I'm modest to a fault (c)I don't score points and (d)I really don't want to hurt anyones' feelings ever.
Now i would say those are the qualities of a fairly nice person, wouldn't you?
Anyway, back to the point: I am SICK to the TEETH of people who try to score points the whole time. I didn’t even know we were point scoring so why do they even bother? Not to mention the stupid bloody mind games. No, i'm not paranoid, thank you very much. It’s taken me a long time to learn to spot this particular kind of person. And it still amazes me, quite frankly, that, whilst i accept you might do that (score points) the fact that you choose to do it to ME is beyond the pale. BECAUSE I DON'T DO THAT.
What’s really crap is that I draw these people into my orbit from miles around. I don’t want to, but I do.
The other thing is that I leave myself wide open. Always have, always will. And I probably shouldn’t change that because i'm not the one with the problem, here. I make it my problem because, well---
You know why. I know you know. ;-)