Comments | squarewart_logs: Rescue the Princess, Rescue the World. [Active, Closed]

notthatharry in squarewart_logs

Rescue the Princess, Rescue the World. [Active, Closed]

May 27, 2010 02:07

WHO: Harry and Kairi
LOCATION: The Unicorn's sinister lair
WEEK: 58
TIME: After Kairi gets kidnapped by unicorns
WHAT: The fair Princess Kairi has been taken by sparkly terrors. Now it's up to one man to risk it all to Get. HER. BACK!!! *cue explosions and montage of action scenes that don't make it into the film*
RATING: S for Sparkles and B ( Read more... )

kairi sable, harry dresden

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driftingtides May 27 2010, 06:44:31 UTC

[Camera cuts to an overhead view of what may have once been the Great Hall. The montage music ends, replaced with a twinkling of horrid melodious synth-pop, the music dipping and swelling as the camera slowly pans down and around the great room. Several unicorns are at rest in various grassy knolls, a few prance happily about as flowers bloom in their wake and dolphins tumble and splash by. Camera zooms away, and we get a better look at the rising mound in the center, what seems to be a-- is that a giant mountain of candy ( ... )

Switching back to prose to preserve my brain XD 1/2 notthatharry June 4 2010, 23:36:41 UTC

Kairi would not be forced to sit there for long, as the unicorn's attention was soon drawn to the far end of the Great Hall, ears lifted and twitching forward as if to better receive some unfamiliar sound. Their adorable brown eyes remained locked on the distance despite it defiantly remaining void of any phenomenon that would warrant such focus ( ... )

2/2 notthatharry June 4 2010, 23:37:00 UTC

There was a brief sensation of falling, and Harry had enough time to reflect on what a stupid way to die this was and come up with several absurd epitaphs before he felt his spell wrap around him like a bubble just a second before he hit the ground, sending him bouncing down through an avalanche of gumdrops and Nerds before his ride finally ended with him going right into a pit of toffee, which was never coming out of his robes by the way, relatively unharmed, even if his bag was digging into his side and his wand was uncomfortable close to a rather tender area ( ... )

driftingtides June 12 2010, 06:12:58 UTC

The sound and the crazed yell caught her attention, but Kairi only thought she had finally lost her gumdrops and that the sound was all in her head. Looking around, she saw nothing, and it wasn't until she noticed the unicorns were looking up that she thought to follow their gazes. A blur of motion that was startlingly familiar flashed above her head, there and gone in an instant.

Harry?

What in the--

CRASH.For a moment, she was entirely sure the mountain had swallowed him. It shook and briefly threatened to collapse after the impact, then calmly resettled into its normal mound of sugary goodness. The glittering mass of candy looked completely innocent despite having just swallowed a student whole ( ... )

notthatharry July 15 2010, 00:11:03 UTC

Harry had approximately five to seven seconds to enjoy a relative amount of badassness before he was forced to accept exactly how screwed he was in the face of a mass of several hundred pound animals charging him with murder in their big adorable eyes. Given this was effectively a stampede of wild horses with the helpful addition of lengthy razor sharp horns, and he was a single rather battered magical teenager, saying the odds were not in his favor was a rather optimistic way of putting things. Still, since the alternative was trying to fly back out of here and abandon Kairi Harry figured he'd just have to deal with almost certain death. Hell, at least if he died he'd have the satisfaction of knowing Bitchface would be spending her tenure in hell knowing a bunch of unicorns pulled off what she couldn't. That was something right ( ... )

driftingtides July 16 2010, 08:50:47 UTC

Despite being covered in purple goo, Kairi thought she was holding up rather well under the strain. The unicorns were in disarray, Harry was safe, and there was even an chancy, thin possibility that they would both escape this without any new large piercings. That was a ray of sunshine, right ( ... )

1/2 notthatharry July 22 2010, 04:58:08 UTC

In Harry's extensive and in-depth experience of hearing things that utterly scared him out of his mind, he had to say "I practice with Sora," easily made the top ten. Harry was well aware of his friends style of flying, which could be fairly described as 'like Harry's but without a sane and rational sense of fear,' and he was not eager to really find out how much of this attitude he'd passed on to Kairi. Still, since his current choices were a probably death in the air or an assured death on the ground...he'd keep weighing his options ( ... )

2/3 notthatharry July 22 2010, 04:59:04 UTC

The plan, at this point, was to get to the other side of the herd, then use his secret weapon to buy himself the time he needed and give Kairi a head start on the unicorns. Unfortunately, like any time Harry tried to plan anything, the universe just had to butt in and throw some sort of monkey wrench into the works. Harry suspected it did this to keep the betting pool more interesting, and if that was true, well he was happy to cost the assholes betting against him as much cash as he could. Hey, clearly a few celestial beings could use their homes foreclosed, might teach them a lesson ( ... )

notthatharry July 22 2010, 04:59:22 UTC

Likely almost any other person in that particular instance would have either been doomed, or smart enough not to actually get in this sort of stupidly insane situation, but luckily Harry had a very particular brand of idiocy that lent itself to allowing his insuring survival. He was wily like a cockroach he supposed. For this particular situation he had already taken into account the Cosmo's perchance for screwing him, and had come up with a backup plan. Thus while the mass of enraged unicorn charged him, he reached into his pack and pulled out his secret weapon. Brandishing it before him like a shield of days past, Harry faced down the herd and waited for the his plan to go into action ( ... )

driftingtides August 3 2010, 03:57:37 UTC

You go get the broom, he says. Kairi's mouth opened to protest this new ingenious plan, but Harry was already sprinting away.

Probably because he knew that Kairi, as a sane and rational person, would have some objections.

Namely being the fact that she had no idea how to get the broom. It had been eaten by candy mountain, remember? How was she supposed to find it and drag it out of that sugary gullet? And Harry taking on an entire army of enraged unicorns by himself was definitely not a very safe or smart idea. She was beginning to wonder if Harry wasn't quite thinking this plan all the way through ( ... )

driftingtides August 3 2010, 03:58:37 UTC

There was not enough of anything to grab onto, although Kairi tried and succeeded in yanking out a few blades of sticky straw. Her purchase was too precarious to lean any farther over, so instead she pulled back to regroup. Grabbing her wand in one hand and hoping those teeth marks weren't permantent, she pointed it at the straw bristles and tried to accio the thing out ( ... )

driftingtides August 3 2010, 04:00:10 UTC

"Accio broomstick!" she shouted, flipping her wand to point at the object sliding quickly by. She was hoping and praying to anyone that might be listening that this was the broom Harry had brought and it would respond to the spell. If she accidentally ended up calling over a giant sugar stick, well, she doubted that would be much help against the army of enraged beasts that very much wanted to redecorate Harry's insides, and possibly her own as well. She certainly hadn't thought they'd get that upset over a little jelly shampoo.

The object in question jiggled and surged up a few inches out of the flow, then seemed to give up with a sigh as it settled back in and flowed right past her, just out of arm's reach.

Kairi watched it pass her by with a sinking feeling in her stomach, and suddenly, she heard the desperate shouting of Harry's voice over the noise of the crunching candy.

"...but I kind of need you to get here! Now! Like, right now! Please? If it's not too much to ask?"She twisted around in attempt to see him, lost her ( ... )

notthatharry October 3 2010, 18:58:09 UTC

Despite the fact that Harry had suddenly found himself lifted off the ground at such a painful velocity that he was pretty sure he heard his shoulder pop, a conclusion backed up by the aforementioned searing pain, Harry could find nothing in Kairi's sudden and timely rescue about which he wished to complain. She had done a perfect dive, stuck the landing, and even won over the Russian judge. Although, that could just be the adrenaline and near death talking ( ... )

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