"I want you to do something completely different this week than normal." "*roll eyes* Yeah, okay sure." *Proceed to go to a LAN, meet someone there. Nice enough but stumbling through communication. Face-plant in Guilty Gear
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>The ever marinating feeling of "why am I still alive?" is there daily.
Pretty much all day, every day. On good days I keep trying to remind myself that I have goals. "You have got to keep this together for just a little longer, man." and that's worked out pretty well I guess. On bad days I pack up my stuff. See, when I die, I want to make sure that it's easy to dispose of my things. So I pack all of it away in boxes like I'm getting ready to move. When I'm less suicidal I unpack some shit, but pretty much 90% of my shit has already been packed in boxes. I'm all packed up and ready to go.
I can't tell you it gets better, because it hasn't gotten better for me. I'm on my way out. If you have a reason to live you'll keep going.
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Pretty much all day, every day.
On good days I keep trying to remind myself that I have goals. "You have got to keep this together for just a little longer, man." and that's worked out pretty well I guess.
On bad days I pack up my stuff. See, when I die, I want to make sure that it's easy to dispose of my things. So I pack all of it away in boxes like I'm getting ready to move. When I'm less suicidal I unpack some shit, but pretty much 90% of my shit has already been packed in boxes. I'm all packed up and ready to go.
I can't tell you it gets better, because it hasn't gotten better for me. I'm on my way out. If you have a reason to live you'll keep going.
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