(no subject)
good food and quiet mornings can do so much for me.
things have been busy lately. flying once a day leads to spending over 20 hours in a plane a week, which under other circumstances would be enjoyable, but in this case mean that i spend 20 hours under the scrutiny of the man sitting to my right. this can go two ways for me: the first is very, very well. in the end, following the tomes of rules about flying and making the right decision at the right time seems to be something i do naturally well. so, on a day where the emergencies that are given to me for training flow and sift together in regard to my own state of mind, it's like walking through your front door at the end of the day - everything that follows is routine and simple. but no one is perfect, least of all me, and so mistakes can be made, are often made, are always made. and when, for whatever reason, i lose my footing and cannot quickly reclaim it, things can go to shit in a hurry.
most of this is a function of my own personality trait/flaw. in the end, i am a die-hard perfectionist intent on always being better, faster, stronger, daft punk rules. and at the same time, i am analytical to nth degree - i go as far as my mind will allow me down any rabbit hole. when i mess up and i don't immediately understand my mistake, i want to stop and diagram what just happened, bring out cause and effect flow charts brightly lit by magic markers and make sure that I know exactly what I just did. without that understanding, i don't feel comfortable moving any further - i need to know exactly where my own limits are in order to proceed in an orderly fashion beyond them.
i think this is why, originally, i wanted to fly something that had brakes - something that could sit and take a breath. of course, that's irrational and it doesn't work that way, but when you stop and think about it, you might be surprised at how irrational we all our every single day of our lives.
things are getting better. i'm improving, growing smarter, more experienced (honestly, the biggest factor in aviation, period...in my unexperienced opinion), and these slips happen less and less. i find it strangely ironic that i am part of a profession that i really have no visceral passion for but can still largely enjoy because of my personality, because of this challenge of the pursuit of perfection. here's hoping that the interest remains.
either way, i'm getting sick of the snowball speech, so that's reason enough to keep moving forward.
things have been busy lately. flying once a day leads to spending over 20 hours in a plane a week, which under other circumstances would be enjoyable, but in this case mean that i spend 20 hours under the scrutiny of the man sitting to my right. this can go two ways for me: the first is very, very well. in the end, following the tomes of rules about flying and making the right decision at the right time seems to be something i do naturally well. so, on a day where the emergencies that are given to me for training flow and sift together in regard to my own state of mind, it's like walking through your front door at the end of the day - everything that follows is routine and simple. but no one is perfect, least of all me, and so mistakes can be made, are often made, are always made. and when, for whatever reason, i lose my footing and cannot quickly reclaim it, things can go to shit in a hurry.
most of this is a function of my own personality trait/flaw. in the end, i am a die-hard perfectionist intent on always being better, faster, stronger, daft punk rules. and at the same time, i am analytical to nth degree - i go as far as my mind will allow me down any rabbit hole. when i mess up and i don't immediately understand my mistake, i want to stop and diagram what just happened, bring out cause and effect flow charts brightly lit by magic markers and make sure that I know exactly what I just did. without that understanding, i don't feel comfortable moving any further - i need to know exactly where my own limits are in order to proceed in an orderly fashion beyond them.
i think this is why, originally, i wanted to fly something that had brakes - something that could sit and take a breath. of course, that's irrational and it doesn't work that way, but when you stop and think about it, you might be surprised at how irrational we all our every single day of our lives.
things are getting better. i'm improving, growing smarter, more experienced (honestly, the biggest factor in aviation, period...in my unexperienced opinion), and these slips happen less and less. i find it strangely ironic that i am part of a profession that i really have no visceral passion for but can still largely enjoy because of my personality, because of this challenge of the pursuit of perfection. here's hoping that the interest remains.
either way, i'm getting sick of the snowball speech, so that's reason enough to keep moving forward.