(no subject)
The past couple days has been hard. The other night I finally figured out what I needed to do, something I tried and failed three times… weeks ago. I told Nate that I can’t talk to him for a while. The first time I told myself I wouldn’t talk to him anymore was when I found out about the aftermath of the relationship (his part), but then he called and apologized and we tried to be friends. The second time was when I told him I couldn’t do it anymore, after we hung out (which I will have to write about that soon, I think about it everyday) but then hours later I leave a message for him to call me. The third time was when I was going to do it and be done but then he called and when I threw him the idea … he seemed more upset than I thought he would be and I began to question my motives. Now … I think it’s the last time, I am tempted to add him back on my buddy list all the time, I am tempted to read his live journal and I am tempted to call him and tell him how much I love him and get shot down, but I can’t allow myself to do that. He called my cell phone during school Friday, I wanted to call back and see what he wanted, to see if that was the call I’ve been waiting for, for the last 3 weeks, him saying he loves me and everything be good again. I didn’t call because deep down I knew it wasn’t it. Finally the curiosity got to me and I called him before I went to work, he said “I dialed the wrong number” and I said “ok… well c’ya.” I honestly don’t believe he dialed the wrong number, but I guess I have to. I keep having this dream… and normally its just place randomly throughout my other dreams, I dream the the door knocks and its always MY front door no matter where I am and its Nate and he kisses me and gives me roses but it always stops there I just got back to the dream I was having. It’s weird and its killing me.
Love is for losers.
I went out with some friends last night to see Wicker park. It was GREAT, it went on longer than it needed to but it was like a twisted love story. It was awesome. There was a bit of drama at the theatre before we saw the movie, but what do you expect form theatre students. I am just going to forget about it. After the movie we went to dinner where my ENTIRE school was eating. We lost our football game but everyone still had a lot of school spirit… it made me sick.
My first week of school was horrible. I am not ready to go back. I hate it, I’m not ready to deal with the drama in theatre, or the homophobes at school. I just want to go back fast forward to Christmas and be with Camilla. I miss her so much. There was a scene in Wicker Park where the two people who were in love were on the airport floor hugging and kissing and crying after a long separation. That will so be Camilla, Dani and I.
I’m going to Gallery Hop tonight it will be fun, I hope…
Joe
Love is for losers.
I went out with some friends last night to see Wicker park. It was GREAT, it went on longer than it needed to but it was like a twisted love story. It was awesome. There was a bit of drama at the theatre before we saw the movie, but what do you expect form theatre students. I am just going to forget about it. After the movie we went to dinner where my ENTIRE school was eating. We lost our football game but everyone still had a lot of school spirit… it made me sick.
My first week of school was horrible. I am not ready to go back. I hate it, I’m not ready to deal with the drama in theatre, or the homophobes at school. I just want to go back fast forward to Christmas and be with Camilla. I miss her so much. There was a scene in Wicker Park where the two people who were in love were on the airport floor hugging and kissing and crying after a long separation. That will so be Camilla, Dani and I.
I’m going to Gallery Hop tonight it will be fun, I hope…
Joe