Change in the Wind, New Land on the Horizon

Aug 17, 2007 09:00

I  am a horrible person. I must have lost my touch at reading people at some point in time. I've been in such a mess with the divorce and everything else that's going on that I made a lot of mistakes. I've spent the summer venting about a job I was unhappy with, about bosses that I felt didn't treat me well, but when I needed help with something, they came through for me, no questions asked. Rosh Hashannah and Yom Kippur are coming up and I have a feeling I will be repenting for a lot.

My financial aid has been fixed. I got my scholarship back, along with a grant, one (possibly 2) loans that I think are subsidized, as well as may be eligible for work-study. It turns out I completely messed up on filling out my FAFSA and listed my parents house as a financial investment. You're not supposed to do that, so when I added all the numbers up, they were completely and totally Wrong with a captial W. So I asked both my bosses as well as a good friend of mine who I work with who works in the Dean of Student's office to see if they can find out what is going on. They called and told me I needed to go in today and see a lady. Went in, saw her, see above. It really pays to have friends in high places.

The reason for the guilt? During June and July I could not stop complaining about how horrible these people were, and yet here they are making calls for me to help me go to school. They aren't risking anything by doing this, but I still see it as something they didn't have to do but chose to anyway just because they're good people, yet all summer all I did was complain. I bought thank you cards to give out to all of them because it's the least I could do. They helped me so I can stay in school, and that's more than I could ask of anyone.

Parchment sucks as a medium base for a scroll. My roommate came up with the idea of doing the whole layout for the scroll on the parchment and then transferring it to the vellum, so I'm thinking that's what I'm going to do. I ripped a hole in the paper (even though it's a miniscule hole, it's a hole nonetheless and it made me mad) and so I'm debating actually doing her suggestion or not. It's so hard this time, because the last time I submitted a scroll, I was confident with myself. This time I'm not at all. Not even a little bit. I keep questioning every aspect of it.I keep asking myself Is it too small? Is it too big? Is the layout period enough? Will I do the calligraphy or ask someone else to? Will the colors match? Will the layout look proper? Is he going to like it? Will the gold leaf work this time?  Nothing is fitting this time, and last time everything just worked so well together. I'm scared, plain and simple, and I don't like it. My knight and I might be getting together next week so she can check out what I've done and she said she'd offer input this time, but I'm still a wreck about it. I got my copy of the Blade and HRM Sanguinius is requesting any MW's be submitted at Queen's Tea, but I really don't know if I will be able to get it finished by then. I think I'm going to just have to keep my focus on Ren Faire as my deadline. TRM gift might have to wait, which uber sucks, but I might be able to get it done as well. Oy. I hate this whole being-insecure-about-something; it's just not my style. Arrrg.

Stupid people at school say we can't have the club as unofficial, meaning I have to make it official in order to have Fighter's Practices there even though our liability is on file. I don't even know if anyone will show up to it; we had a huge turnout for a good while, then people just stopped altogether. Maybe with Kronosch on the throne as the new Marquis we will get more people as well as our loaner gear. However, that's not really the focus right now. I still have to do my documentation for my newcomer's guide and hope it passes; I need to remember to ask HRM Mina if I can submit it. Teh suck. Need a new "To Do" list again; the last two were missing things, and I keep forgetting stuff again. GAH!!!!! Breathe. Need to remember to breathe.

..... and I have to remember to call CAPS. Oy. So much to remember. I'm going to go make my list now. It's going to be gargantuan, but at least I'll feel a bit better when it's done. I'm already feeling a lot better because of the FinAid stuff. Thank goodness for good people in this world.
@~>~~

ecs, work, jewish holidays, financial aid, scroll, school

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