Love is in the air.....
Engagement. Marriage. Wedding. These three small words (though not the three small words we've all come to embrace or detest, mind you) seem so simple and yet penetrate to the very core of, well, practically everything. I just found out today about a dear friend of mine who is engaged. That makes..... 6 people I know who have rings on their hands. Part of me is so happy for them! I mean, it's so wonderful to have found someone you want to spend the rest of your life with! That's such awesome news!
However, part of me is still distraught, namely due to personal choices. I choose to put my love life on hold for the sake of my degree. I choose to say no every time because I have to graduate first. At first, it was due to the fear that my parents would cut me off, and a small portion of me still feels that way. However, I'm self-sufficient at this point. The only thing I do not pay is my health and my phone, and I could, in essence, pay for both, I just choose not to, which makes sense; one less bill to worry about at the moment. However, fear of being cut off isn't so much the reason anymore, it's just fear in general at this point. My parents are officially divorced, and I still worry that I may end up like that. Who doesn't? Being nervous about up and leaving someone you've been with for 25+ years? I don't see why not.
Oy, off topic. Moral to the story, I'm happy for them. I really am. I'm uber jealous that I can't make that kind of promise to someone at this point in time, but I'm still content with where I am for the most part. I know that I will be in their place soon enough, I just have to wait until my personal goal has been achieved. A college degree is super important to me. I want my future secure before I start worrying about things like children and a husband and all that jazz. I don't want to be just another statistic. As nice as it would be to have a ring on my finger (even if it meant waiting 2+ years to actually say "I do"), having my degree in my hand is a lot less frightening and a lot more important currently. Eyes on the prize, even if I'm getting sick of looking at the damn thing at this point.
@~>~~
However, part of me is still distraught, namely due to personal choices. I choose to put my love life on hold for the sake of my degree. I choose to say no every time because I have to graduate first. At first, it was due to the fear that my parents would cut me off, and a small portion of me still feels that way. However, I'm self-sufficient at this point. The only thing I do not pay is my health and my phone, and I could, in essence, pay for both, I just choose not to, which makes sense; one less bill to worry about at the moment. However, fear of being cut off isn't so much the reason anymore, it's just fear in general at this point. My parents are officially divorced, and I still worry that I may end up like that. Who doesn't? Being nervous about up and leaving someone you've been with for 25+ years? I don't see why not.
Oy, off topic. Moral to the story, I'm happy for them. I really am. I'm uber jealous that I can't make that kind of promise to someone at this point in time, but I'm still content with where I am for the most part. I know that I will be in their place soon enough, I just have to wait until my personal goal has been achieved. A college degree is super important to me. I want my future secure before I start worrying about things like children and a husband and all that jazz. I don't want to be just another statistic. As nice as it would be to have a ring on my finger (even if it meant waiting 2+ years to actually say "I do"), having my degree in my hand is a lot less frightening and a lot more important currently. Eyes on the prize, even if I'm getting sick of looking at the damn thing at this point.
@~>~~