Burning the candle at both ends... again...
*Picks up head from off of desk* So all that muckety-muck from earlier? I think I've come to a conclusion. I think it's the job. Again. The stress from it is just spilling into everything else now. I'm tired. All the time. I don't remember the last time I was happy about getting up to go to work. I haven't seen my friends in forever. I haven't seen my family in even longer than that. I miss ECS. I miss going to art class every Thursday. I miss having the energy to do whatever I wanted. I miss having time to do whatever I wanted. Even when I was working and taking 18 units, I still had time for a life. Nowadays, I'm too tired to do anything, so all I do is sleep or lay in front of the TV when I'm not working.
This isn't me. This isn't what I do. This is not my life. I miss school. I miss working at my jobs that I love. I miss my friends and clubs and activities that I would participate in. I was a human being. The problem? I can't get a job for 1 1/2 months. So I suffer. I want August to come. I only have one session, then five days off, then another session, then 3 1/2 weeks off before the final two sessions and then I'm free.
Again, I know this is a "Welcome to the Real World" thing, but still, I've never been this miserable before. I've never questioned working at a job before. I feel like I've completely let myself down. I could have been been working as an intern for a therapist or a counselor at a clinic, receiving valuable training for my career. However, wallowing in self-pity won't help. I have to bite the bullet and suck it up for these last few sessions. I mean, what else can I do?
I miss my family and friends. So much. I miss my boy. So much. I want my life back.
@~>~~