a step in the right direction
tuesday i started a new job. i wanted to wait until my second day, before i made any crazy accusations. i get paid more. which is a definite plus. which also means my hours at GAP will go down.
i dont hate the GAP. i just dont like it.
so the new job. i'm working for Oklahoma's Department of Human Services. i'm not going to go into much of the jobs details. mainly just what it does for me.
it feels like a real job. not like this retail job at the mall or the summer jobs i've held in the past. i think Parents fail to mention how great a REAL job is because then no one would go to college and start taking all of their jobs. haha.
the best way i can describe the last two days of work is like when i went to Six Flags for my 8th Grade trip. i remember having this accomplished feeling like i had finally been granted permission to be my own person and do all the things i wanted. every show, ride, restaurant, was all based on my desire to do what i wanted, when i wanted. i remember wanting to ride the same ride over and over again for like 5 times. for my sixth time i sorta looked over my shoulders to kinda of see if someone was going to tell me that i couldnt. no one was there. so i rode it.
well 6 was maybe one too many, the point was that i had the choice.
what our parents choose to not tell us that when you hit these jobs, no one is REALLY your boss. yeah, theirs someone higher up than you but they are normally called SUPERVISORS. if i do what i need to do, these guys dont bug me. what i've learned in these past few days of work is that life is work. and work is life. and when we clock in, from day one we are given an agenda and a set of tasks that we ought to do before we leave. now we can choose to do them or we can simply take every moment as leisure time and hang out and shoot shit with the ppl in the office. i remember talking to a few ppl when i first graduated HS and this particular ppl were in their late 20's. they thought they had life figured out. for the most part they had fundamental beliefs that would lead to their happiness. all of them had this in common: Balance.
the amusement park:
i can be the kid that runs a muck and rides every single ride and eats every snack food available. i can see every show and taste every single candy.
or i can just walk around and watch other ppl enjoy themselves. i can sit right outside the highest rollercoaster and think of how much fun it would be to ride but never get up to see for myself.
somewhere in the grey area we gotta find a mix. and maybe thats why i like this job so much. i can leave when i want, but i can stay at my desk and file papers and choose not to talk to anyone or smile at each face that walks by. Balance.
my life has been out of balance for quite sometime. its not hard to see the reasons why i did some of the stuff i did in the past. i just cant believe the frequency of my choices. Repetition is the father of learning and i guess its finally starting to stick.
anyways. i like the job.
[[ the things i dont convey, are forgotten and i wish you could see the screen play of the words we would say. a beautiful dialogue to weep to. a moment i'll soon forget because i was too scared to tell you. ]]
i dont hate the GAP. i just dont like it.
so the new job. i'm working for Oklahoma's Department of Human Services. i'm not going to go into much of the jobs details. mainly just what it does for me.
it feels like a real job. not like this retail job at the mall or the summer jobs i've held in the past. i think Parents fail to mention how great a REAL job is because then no one would go to college and start taking all of their jobs. haha.
the best way i can describe the last two days of work is like when i went to Six Flags for my 8th Grade trip. i remember having this accomplished feeling like i had finally been granted permission to be my own person and do all the things i wanted. every show, ride, restaurant, was all based on my desire to do what i wanted, when i wanted. i remember wanting to ride the same ride over and over again for like 5 times. for my sixth time i sorta looked over my shoulders to kinda of see if someone was going to tell me that i couldnt. no one was there. so i rode it.
well 6 was maybe one too many, the point was that i had the choice.
what our parents choose to not tell us that when you hit these jobs, no one is REALLY your boss. yeah, theirs someone higher up than you but they are normally called SUPERVISORS. if i do what i need to do, these guys dont bug me. what i've learned in these past few days of work is that life is work. and work is life. and when we clock in, from day one we are given an agenda and a set of tasks that we ought to do before we leave. now we can choose to do them or we can simply take every moment as leisure time and hang out and shoot shit with the ppl in the office. i remember talking to a few ppl when i first graduated HS and this particular ppl were in their late 20's. they thought they had life figured out. for the most part they had fundamental beliefs that would lead to their happiness. all of them had this in common: Balance.
the amusement park:
i can be the kid that runs a muck and rides every single ride and eats every snack food available. i can see every show and taste every single candy.
or i can just walk around and watch other ppl enjoy themselves. i can sit right outside the highest rollercoaster and think of how much fun it would be to ride but never get up to see for myself.
somewhere in the grey area we gotta find a mix. and maybe thats why i like this job so much. i can leave when i want, but i can stay at my desk and file papers and choose not to talk to anyone or smile at each face that walks by. Balance.
my life has been out of balance for quite sometime. its not hard to see the reasons why i did some of the stuff i did in the past. i just cant believe the frequency of my choices. Repetition is the father of learning and i guess its finally starting to stick.
anyways. i like the job.
[[ the things i dont convey, are forgotten and i wish you could see the screen play of the words we would say. a beautiful dialogue to weep to. a moment i'll soon forget because i was too scared to tell you. ]]