Breaking Point - Fullmetal Alchemist - Roy/Jean; Teen
Title: Breaking Point
Author/Artist: evil_little_dog
Rating: T
Warnings: Alternate reality (i.e., no Wheelchair!Havoc); future fic for the manga; angst.
Prompt: Fullmetal Alchemist; Jean Havoc/Roy Mustang: drinking yourself to death - "Who wants to live forever?"
Word Count: 530
Summary: It isn’t just the loss.
A.N.: Thanks to cornerofmadness for the lookit this over.
* * *
Jean takes the glass from Roy’s lax hand, not wanting to clean up broken shards when it slips out of his grip. A grumbled protest is the only reaction; the man is too far gone to realize that his drink is actually missing. The glass gets moved to the kitchen, along with the bottle of whiskey. Jean considers pouring it down the sink but knows it won’t do any real good - Roy will simply buy another bottle and maybe a friend to keep it company.
It isn’t just the loss - if it were simply that, Jean believed his commanding officer could pull himself out of this…alcoholic deathwish. But it was the loss, compounded by another loss, and another - and even the strongest rock can shatter from a single drop of water falling or so Jean has heard. And Roy, despite outward appearances, isn’t always the strongest of men.
Jean thinks maybe it’s because Roy had no real family; even if Chris Mustang raised him, even if he called her ‘Mom’, it wasn’t like she was flesh and blood kin. No, Roy had to make his own family - Hughes and Hawkeye first, then expanding it to his command. Even the two kids, the Elrics, were like the little brothers in the group. Still, it wasn’t enough to cope with Roy’s descent.
Hughes’ murder hadn’t even been the first blow, though it struck harder than anything since Ishbal. Then Hawkeye - Jean swallows hard, eyeing the whiskey bottle himself - he’d loved Hawkeye, too; she was like kin. But for Roy to lose two lovers in such a short time...Jean can only imagine how much it hurts Roy, living this way when the two people he most loves are gone.
Roy’s passed out completely, a rumpled figure of a man. His face is turned toward a photograph taken in happier times, of Hughes, his arms stretched around both Hawkeye’s and Roy’s shoulders. In the picture, it looks like Roy is smiling. They all are, faces wreathed in love.
Jean needs a cigarette to take the taste out of his mouth, the one he gets every time he comes to check on Roy. Tobacco ash is sweet compared to this. But he does his duty; he gets Roy on his feet, down the short hall to the shower; makes the man clean himself up before he bundles Roy into bed. He stands over Roy as the man wallows fitfully for a little bit before he is still. A smile graces his face, his dark eyes opening slowly, and for an instant, Jean thinks that grin is for him. He strokes the hair off Roy’s forehead, his hand not even pausing when he hears the soft, slurred name, knowing it isn’t his own.
It isn’t right that Roy’s lovers are dead, that he’s drinking himself to death to follow them. Jean wishes he didn’t feel like he might need to follow, too, but he isn’t sure if he could live without Roy. He wants Roy to want to live; to be the man he used to be. To understand how much Jean loves him.
Even if that isn’t enough to make him stay in this world.
* * *
Author/Artist: evil_little_dog
Rating: T
Warnings: Alternate reality (i.e., no Wheelchair!Havoc); future fic for the manga; angst.
Prompt: Fullmetal Alchemist; Jean Havoc/Roy Mustang: drinking yourself to death - "Who wants to live forever?"
Word Count: 530
Summary: It isn’t just the loss.
A.N.: Thanks to cornerofmadness for the lookit this over.
* * *
Jean takes the glass from Roy’s lax hand, not wanting to clean up broken shards when it slips out of his grip. A grumbled protest is the only reaction; the man is too far gone to realize that his drink is actually missing. The glass gets moved to the kitchen, along with the bottle of whiskey. Jean considers pouring it down the sink but knows it won’t do any real good - Roy will simply buy another bottle and maybe a friend to keep it company.
It isn’t just the loss - if it were simply that, Jean believed his commanding officer could pull himself out of this…alcoholic deathwish. But it was the loss, compounded by another loss, and another - and even the strongest rock can shatter from a single drop of water falling or so Jean has heard. And Roy, despite outward appearances, isn’t always the strongest of men.
Jean thinks maybe it’s because Roy had no real family; even if Chris Mustang raised him, even if he called her ‘Mom’, it wasn’t like she was flesh and blood kin. No, Roy had to make his own family - Hughes and Hawkeye first, then expanding it to his command. Even the two kids, the Elrics, were like the little brothers in the group. Still, it wasn’t enough to cope with Roy’s descent.
Hughes’ murder hadn’t even been the first blow, though it struck harder than anything since Ishbal. Then Hawkeye - Jean swallows hard, eyeing the whiskey bottle himself - he’d loved Hawkeye, too; she was like kin. But for Roy to lose two lovers in such a short time...Jean can only imagine how much it hurts Roy, living this way when the two people he most loves are gone.
Roy’s passed out completely, a rumpled figure of a man. His face is turned toward a photograph taken in happier times, of Hughes, his arms stretched around both Hawkeye’s and Roy’s shoulders. In the picture, it looks like Roy is smiling. They all are, faces wreathed in love.
Jean needs a cigarette to take the taste out of his mouth, the one he gets every time he comes to check on Roy. Tobacco ash is sweet compared to this. But he does his duty; he gets Roy on his feet, down the short hall to the shower; makes the man clean himself up before he bundles Roy into bed. He stands over Roy as the man wallows fitfully for a little bit before he is still. A smile graces his face, his dark eyes opening slowly, and for an instant, Jean thinks that grin is for him. He strokes the hair off Roy’s forehead, his hand not even pausing when he hears the soft, slurred name, knowing it isn’t his own.
It isn’t right that Roy’s lovers are dead, that he’s drinking himself to death to follow them. Jean wishes he didn’t feel like he might need to follow, too, but he isn’t sure if he could live without Roy. He wants Roy to want to live; to be the man he used to be. To understand how much Jean loves him.
Even if that isn’t enough to make him stay in this world.
* * *