June 21st - Links in the Chain [Final Fantasy 7, Avalanche, PG-13]
Title: Links in the Chain
Author: Scrolls
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Group silliness
Pairings: None
Word count: 4,000
Summary: Jenova had her Reunion’s, and they had theirs.
Disclaimer: Don’t own, just like to play with from time to time.
Prompt: Final Fantasy VII: any pairing(s); talking/gossiping around the campfire at Cosmo Canyon - "Remember when...?"
A/N: Sorry this is so late! The muses refused to talk to me right until the due date and then gave me this, and then a bunch of RL and family stuff came up, sorry again!
Barret’s laugh slammed into the Cosmo Canyon night like a bombshell, and any remaining wildlife decided that tonight just wasn’t worth it. Around the bonfire they gathered, a group from so many different backgrounds it boggled the mind and made many wonder how, even after all this time, they could get along.
But bonds forged in war and blood and pain, woven by trust and comfort and celebration could never be so easily broken. And on nights like this, those bonds were made stronger, links added to the chains that bound them close.
“Oh, I have one! Did I ever tell any of you how Barret and I met?” Tifa gasped through her laughter.
“Tifa! Don’t you dare!” The larger man growled.
“No? Okay, here goes-”
***
This was back before I’d inherited the Seventh Heaven from Mike, before the original AVALANCHE members were taken out. I was working for the old fart as a combo barmaid/bouncer, and by that point any illusions I’d had about Midgar and the slums had long been stripped away. Master Zangan had waited until I’d built up enough of a rep before he felt it was safe to leave me, and he made sure I understood how hazardous the streets were-that sometimes the most dangerous creatures down there weren’t the monsters.
Barret had just arrived with the latest group of AVALANCHE recruits-I’ve always wondered why they hired him on, guess they decided the gunarm and bulk made up for him having a dependent.
So anyway, two am had come and gone, the bar was closed and I was cleaning up after a particularly nasty argument-turned fight-turned full-fledged bar-brawl. You’d be surprised, how good a warm-up you can get pounding on a bunch of drunks who can’t feel a thing.
So there I was, just gotten done tossing out the trash-as well as half the furniture-and had just hauled out the mop and bucket when someone started banging on the door. I figured it was another drunk looking for one last drink, so I ignored it. Two am, was two am.
But the banging never stopped, and after a bit I heard that noise that babies make right before they go into a full-fledged wail. I was at the door in a heartbeat; I knew all the stories about where babies got left in Midgar, but at a bar?
Luckily it wasn’t a basket baby, but there was a baby in the arms of a rather large man with a bashful expression on his face. It took a couple seconds for my brain to shift gears from almost-panic, to whatever else when he started talking.
He introduced himself and his daughter, apologized for the lateness and explained that he had just arrived a couple of hours ago. He said that little Marlene wasn’t sleeping well, and could he perhaps buy some warm milk so he could get her to sleep?
I don’t know if it was the fact he was carrying his daughter around or if he just started talking at the right time, but I let them in and pulled out some milk-luckily a couple of Mike’s specialty drinks required milk as an ingredient. It took some work but eventually, we managed to get Marlene to drink it.
She was still fussing a little after, probably from the beer and vomit smell. Anyway, I had just gotten done cleaning up the dishes when her fussing turned into laughter. I looked up and there was Barret dancing across the floor, Marlene tucked into his chest. He was surprisingly good at, managing to weave his way around the room without bumping into anything. Then he got to where I had place the mop and bucket by the bar, and there was a *THUMP-SPLASH*. And I just knew what I would find when I looked over the counter, and I was right.
Barret’s foot, stuck in the bucket. Marlene just laughed, and clapped.
It took three hours to get his foot unstuck and by then not only was Marlene fast asleep, but it was almost dawn. I had thought he would leave at that point, but instead he stayed. Helped me finish cleaning up, even took a look at some of the furniture-managed to fix quite a bit of it too.
We parted ways after that, he had to get back, and I needed sleep. I saw him every now and then, usually looking for milk for Marlene or just someone to talk to. I didn’t mind, and he was there for me six month later when Mike got hit during a gang war. Eventually the original leaders of AVALANCHE were taken out, and Barret moved their headquarters to Seventh Heaven when he took charge.
And then Cloud showed up, but you all know what happened after that.
***
“I can’t-believe you-” Yuffie managed to gasp out before the laughter became too much and she all but collapsed on Tifa.
“Oh yeah? Look who’s talkin’ Miss Foot Pain Princess!”
“Barret!”
***
None of you were there for it, but one time when we were all out monster huntin’, tryin’ to find this one beastie ‘cause it was known for pickin’ up somethin’ we wanted, me n’ Aeris n’ Vincent had just come back from a days huntin’. We got to the camp site n’ there was Yuffie, up this dang tree-workin’ on ‘er balance she said. She told us that Cid n’ Tifa had gone into town to dump a bunch of items we had gotten but didn’t need, n’ that Cloud, Nanaki n’ Cait Sith weren’t back yet.
So the three of us started settin’ up camp, n’ ‘cause there was this big pile of wood under the tree she was in, none of us bothered to holler Yuffie down. So we get ‘bout half-way done when Yuffie gives this gods-almighty shriek n’ drops like a rock, the three of us run over, but with all ‘er fussin’ n’ hollerin’ all we can figure out is that’s it’s somethin’ to do with ‘er foot.
Eventually Aeris gave up n’ had me n’ Vincent sit on ‘er so she can figure out what’s wrong.
So we did, n’ she did, n’ Aeris comes around n’ she’s got such a serious look on ‘er face that me n’ Vincent both get worried, n’ then I asked ‘er what was it?
Aeris holds out her pinky, n’ right there is the tiniest little sliver you ever saw.
Yuffie never took her shoes off when tree-walkin’ ever again after that.
***
Hearing Cloud chuckle beside her through the howls of the others, the young woman turned on him. “Look who’s talking Cloudcobo! Those hens did a number on you, right?”
Cloud just groaned and hid his face in his hands.
***
So, like, this was back when we were all running around collecting all those super-cool material so we could finally go down and beat the stuffing out of tall, pale, and gloomies’ ass, okay?
Well, me and Cloud were out trying to find a white hen for Cloud to breed or something, but we kept finding nothing but greens and yellows-they were everywhere! So finally we decided to take a break ‘cause, I mean, We’d been running around all day! So we sat ourselves down under this tree, and we must have been way more tired than we thought, ‘cause we started snoozing.
So I’m sleeping and dreaming of how we’re gonna kick the albino’s ass right? And then ‘bout a dozen chicobos run right over me-like I’m a racetrack or something! So I’m sitting up and trying to figure out what’s going on-I mean, who wakes up normally to bird prints all over? And then I realize that the flock that we’d been tracking, like, decided to join us-and I mean the whole damn flock!
So I’m looking around, trying to spot Cloud, see if he’s awake and knows what’s up, and yeah, he’s up, and yeah, he knows about the birds, ‘cause, like, he’s got two of them sitting on either side, and one on top! And their tryin’ to preen his hair-seriously!
It took us awhile the get the birds off him, ‘cause like, not even our best greens could get them off, we had to wait until each one was satisfied with his hair before they would leave!
And the funniest part was that one followed us back to camp!
***
It was Tifa giggling “That explains Clover.” To Shera that caught Cloud’s attention and reminded him of another incident involving Tifa and a bar.
Grinning rather wickedly, the blond began.
***
Everybody remembers Mideel right? Well this was after I’d recovered but before the doctors cleared me to leave. At that point I was sneaking away every chance I got; the memories I’d just gotten back were just too fresh for me to stay.
Anyway, during one of my times ‘out’ I passed by a crowd in front of a bar, and after catching a couple snatches of conversation, decided to find out what was going on. Seems someone had dared some woman to a drinking contest, and not only had she won, but now she was tacking the place apart, anyone who tried approaching her not only got beat up but got the place even more trashed.
It was at this point that I heard a very familiar voice singing an old Nibelheim lullaby. Yep, you guessed it; it was Tifa, drunk off her rocker with all the safeties gone.
It took two hours, a Sleep and a promised Mastered Cure to get everything settled and Tifa somewhere she could sleep the alcohol off.
And if any of you are wondering, yes that is the exact reason why Tifa won’t touch anything alcohol unless its apple beer.
Though on the bright side, the very next day, the doctors discharged me without a single fuss.
***
Any response by Tifa was quickly forgotten as the pans of chestnuts made their readiness known to the group. For the next several minutes, there was nothing but scrambling as they pulled the nuts off the fire, dished them up, and tried to eat them without burning their mouths.
Eventually things settled down and the stories began again.
***
Do you all perhaps remember, one day while at rocket town, the day when all of us male returned from a round of monster hunting to find Aeris, Shera, Tifa, and Yuffie both highly annoyed and not in the mood to share?
Well, mayhap I should enlighten you as to what occurred.
If you will all recall, while out that day I got separated from my group and as pre-agreed I headed back to town in order to meet up with them.
Along the way however, I found a most interesting scene.
Shera it seems had decided to try her hand at monster hunting and the ladies agreed to oblige her. However, I doubt the beast they found was planned. In form it was not unlike a malboro, though the color was somewhat sour and reminded me of fish too long out of the water, in scent it was most foul and in voice it made Chaos hiss.
The ladies however, took it all in stride and the lessons were going well. And when the beast was down to its last vapors of life, Shera struck the final blow.
And thus the beast exploded.
Everywhere.
Needless to say, being covered in exploded monster goo was not appreciated. Unfortunately there was no water nearby in amounts sufficient to do more than get it off their hands and faces. For the rest they could only attempt to wipe as much off as they could and simply put up with what they could not remove.
Knowing that our female companions would not appreciate being looked upon in such a state, I decided to not make myself known to them. And being unaware of what might be attracted by the slime the quartet now sported, I felt it would be beneficial if I followed from a distance to ensure their travel would have not interruptions.
Before long we had returned to Cid’s house, and the ladies concluded a quick game of Sword-Gun-Fist to decide who was showering first. The four entered the domicile none too soon, for just as the door closed behind them, Barret and Cait Sith appeared at the head of the road.
Thinking it best to prevent disaster I went to intercept them, knowing full well what would happen if any disturbed the ladies at that time.
***
Reeve and Barret shot decidedly grateful looks at Vincent. Tifa, Yuffie, and Shera couldn’t seem to decide who to glare at, and Cid was laughing so hard he fell off the stump.
That seemed to decide Shera.
***
You’ve all seen what Cid is like when it comes to his cigs and tea right? Well, have you ever considered him without either?
Well believe me, it wasn’t pretty.
This was about six months before the big rocket launch that went sour. It was springtime, and everything was breeding like nuts, and I do mean everything.
There were monsters cropping up all over the place, got to be you couldn’t get ten feet beyond the town borders without being attacked.
And then one morning the tea was gone, we had some stuff that the people in town grew for chewing in the morning, but it wasn’t the same. Doesn’t need to be said that it was hard as hell to get him up in the mornings, and let’s not even get into the rants. But after a while we just stopped talking to Cid until lunch.
Two weeks later the cigs ran out.
Now, I’m sure you’ve all seen what happens to someone when they go through withdrawal right? Multiply it by ten and proportion it to a dragon that’s gotten woken up during hibernation and you’ve got a pretty good idea what we were dealing with.
After ten days we were all walking on eggshells, because at that point anything set Cid off and there weren’t enough earplugs to go around.
I don’t know what it was that made me snap, but I did. I hauled him out back, turned on the water and hosed him down. I then told him that if he wanted is tea and cig fix so bad he could go get them himself instead of waiting like the rest of us for the resupply caravan to get through.
And, well, that’s what he did.
He grabbed a pack, his spear, and headed out. It was after a week had passed and I’d finished working out my own frustrations at the situation on a particularly stubborn engine that I started to worry. But not four days later, the supply convoy rolled up into town with Cid in the front car.
Turns out Cid had run into them on his way to the nearest village along the caravan route, so when he explained things they gave him a ride back.
Funny thing was, from that point on they only ran into monsters three times, and each time the monsters turned tail and ran whenever they saw Cid or heard him yell.
That route’s been pretty much free of monsters ever since.
***
Under the laughter of the other, Cid could easily hear the pleased rumble from Nanaki, the huge lion was splayed out, stomach distended from his meal.
“Heh, ya like that story eh furface? Well how about this one?”
***
You all remember what was goin’ on right after Meteor right? Hell, I doubt any of us’ll ever forget those days.
Well, this was the day after Reeve brought Marlene outa whatever hole he’d stashed her into, and Barret was still introducin’ her to everyone-was trying to take it slow so as to not overwhelm the tyke.
It got on to the afternoon, Me an’ Nanaki had gone out to start workin’ on the trucks, see which ones could be fixed and which couldn’t, so we could start moving people and supplies you know? Marlene had met some local kids and was off playin’ some game, Cloud, Tifa, an’ Vinny were off onna monster sweep, and I don’t remember where the hell the rest of you went off to.
So I’ve got my fingers buried in some engine when I hear this yelp and a buncha young-ish voices yelling Kitty! Wonderin’ what the hell’s goin’ on I pull myself out and turn around and there’s Nanaki buried under half a dozen or so knee-highs who are trying to pet the kitty.
Includin’ Marlene, sitting place o’ pride right on his mane.
And you could just tell by the look on furries face that he’d gone through this sorta thing enough times for it to get old fast.
***
While the other’s around the fire laughed, the look Nanaki shot Cid suggested the man should check his boot very carefully in the morning, for he was in for a surprise.
Turning to glare at the ex-Turk reclining beside him, Nanaki flicked an ear at the smirk the man wore, receiving a raised eyebrow in response, the lion grinned.
***
I will tell you all of a strange creature I know of. It is considered strange because it will only begin its breeding season when a specific set of conditions are met.
There must be several warm, dry days-not too hot or it will think its summer, not too cold it will think its winter, no rain or it will think its fall-perhaps a light mist in the morning, but cloudless the rest of the day.
This of course, is only the beginning, but during this time both sexes will eat much more than they normally would, the males will stake their claims, the females will scent the air, and the skies reverberate with their roars.
And then a moon will rise, bright and full and cloudless in the night sky and the forests and valleys and mountains will be filled with their howls and growls, their roars and whimpers. And with the dawn, there will be blood on the ground, some will be dead, the rest alive, and come the following winter, the next generation will be born.
But what I know of this creature is small, if you wish to know more you should ask Vincent, or specifically, the Galian Beast.
***
Wide eyes and open mouths were aimed at Vincent from around the fire until Tifa, Yuffie, and Shera blinked as one and stated “Well, that explains a lot.”
And now it was Vincent’s turn to be the focus of their good-natured teasing as the next round of tea, coffee, cocoa, and alcohol was passed around.
When all were settled once again, Reeve spoke up.
“I have a story.” He offered. “Though it’s from the early days, before Nibelheim, if that’s all right?” Looking towards Cloud for permission, Reeve happily continued with the blonds consent.
***
Fantastic! Well, this was a year, year-and-a-half before that night. Back then I was just a simple engineer in my department, and while my star was rising, I’m glad to say it wasn’t the meteoric rises that made so many crash and burn.
At the same time there was this SOLDIER 1st Class called Zack Fair. He was known as being the one person who could-and yes I’m counting on my fingers here-groan at Genesis’s obsession with Loveless and not get flamed, roughhouse with Angeal and always come back for more, get Sephiroth to laugh-and even crack the occasional joke, and go toe to toe with a Turk named Reno in the Pranks and Stupid Things Pulled On Missions category and have a chance of coming out on top.
Though not to say that last part was encouraged you see.
As well, there was a new young Turk that was not only doing a number on the Turks reputation, and causing many to rethink their opinion of the group-to people even more insane and dangerous than they first thought! He was also known to be the originator of many a Prank War within Shinra.
Which is actually how this story starts; with a Prank War.
If it wasn’t the slight shrinkage in the Turk uniforms, it was the dye in the SOLDIERs shampoo, this prank war had gone on long enough for not only the other departments to notice, but start betting on what would be next-in fact I think it was the betting that gave them their ideas sometimes!
The primary instigators in all this were Zack and Reno, and both were pulling out all the stops. The reason is there were a bunch of rumors circulating that Old Man Shinra was planning to update the company rules to include a ban on all prank wars from now on.
Now, up until this point the ones taking part in all this were the Turks and SOLDIER, everyone else was keeping their heads down. That however changed when someone decided to prank the engineer’s weekly meeting. While I won’t go into details, I will simply say-
It was War
We didn’t do anything right away, if there is one true fact about engineers, it is that we are both patient and creative.
It’s in our job description after all.
It took a while to decide what to do, but eventually we settled on something that would get the message across.
One fine day, three weeks after the prank we suffered, the engineers struck back.
All the perpetrators of this particular prank war were invited to attend a meeting to be held that evening, and by ‘invite’ I mean received a message signed by Old Man Shinra ordering them to be there.
At the appointed time all those involved were within the trap, and as the clock turned over, the door slammed shut. Those inside quickly discovered the door was a fake, hiding in reality a SOLDIER-proof hatchway to a SOLDIER-proof room. Well, proof to a certain degree anyway-needless to say the group was collectively stuck.
And then the sprinkler system went off, but it was not water that came out, but pickle juice laced with a skin-permeable sedative, and in five minutes the entire lot was sleeping away.
Now, you’re wondering how a mere sedative could take down a SOLDIER, when all but a handful of drugs simply don’t work on their biology, and those are practically poison to the non-enhanced.
It turns out that pickle juice has the same effect as a sedative on a normal person, and toss in the drugs we laced it with and you get the picture.
Yes, you heard me right, pickle juice knocks out SOLDIERs, and no I don’t know why either, yes, it made our brains hurt as much as yours are right now contemplating that fact.
Now, back to the story.
I will not go over the next several hours of our revenge, but the next morning the victims woke up to find themselves plastered to various ceilings via randomly combined mediums, wearing the most ridiculous outfits we could find, and sprouting some rather bizarre hair styles.
Oh, they also reeked of pickles.
This of course, was all timed to happen just before the day shift arrived to get to work.
While the prank wars came and went after that, engineering was never-either collectively or singularly-pranked again. Our revenge got the message across, so we dropped it and went back to our projects.
We also got a lot more respect than ever, but that’s a different story.
And while they were all eventually taken down and cleaned up, I have to say that Zack actually looked fairly good with sparkly, hot-purple hair.
***
Laughter once more rang out in the canyon, Reeve getting his teasing as Yuffie reeled in Cait Sith for a cuddle. Hearing them the last few animals still awake gave the humans a collective nasty look before giving up and seeking their dens.
And the stories continued, link upon link, building the chains that bound them together.
Author: Scrolls
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Group silliness
Pairings: None
Word count: 4,000
Summary: Jenova had her Reunion’s, and they had theirs.
Disclaimer: Don’t own, just like to play with from time to time.
Prompt: Final Fantasy VII: any pairing(s); talking/gossiping around the campfire at Cosmo Canyon - "Remember when...?"
A/N: Sorry this is so late! The muses refused to talk to me right until the due date and then gave me this, and then a bunch of RL and family stuff came up, sorry again!
Barret’s laugh slammed into the Cosmo Canyon night like a bombshell, and any remaining wildlife decided that tonight just wasn’t worth it. Around the bonfire they gathered, a group from so many different backgrounds it boggled the mind and made many wonder how, even after all this time, they could get along.
But bonds forged in war and blood and pain, woven by trust and comfort and celebration could never be so easily broken. And on nights like this, those bonds were made stronger, links added to the chains that bound them close.
“Oh, I have one! Did I ever tell any of you how Barret and I met?” Tifa gasped through her laughter.
“Tifa! Don’t you dare!” The larger man growled.
“No? Okay, here goes-”
***
This was back before I’d inherited the Seventh Heaven from Mike, before the original AVALANCHE members were taken out. I was working for the old fart as a combo barmaid/bouncer, and by that point any illusions I’d had about Midgar and the slums had long been stripped away. Master Zangan had waited until I’d built up enough of a rep before he felt it was safe to leave me, and he made sure I understood how hazardous the streets were-that sometimes the most dangerous creatures down there weren’t the monsters.
Barret had just arrived with the latest group of AVALANCHE recruits-I’ve always wondered why they hired him on, guess they decided the gunarm and bulk made up for him having a dependent.
So anyway, two am had come and gone, the bar was closed and I was cleaning up after a particularly nasty argument-turned fight-turned full-fledged bar-brawl. You’d be surprised, how good a warm-up you can get pounding on a bunch of drunks who can’t feel a thing.
So there I was, just gotten done tossing out the trash-as well as half the furniture-and had just hauled out the mop and bucket when someone started banging on the door. I figured it was another drunk looking for one last drink, so I ignored it. Two am, was two am.
But the banging never stopped, and after a bit I heard that noise that babies make right before they go into a full-fledged wail. I was at the door in a heartbeat; I knew all the stories about where babies got left in Midgar, but at a bar?
Luckily it wasn’t a basket baby, but there was a baby in the arms of a rather large man with a bashful expression on his face. It took a couple seconds for my brain to shift gears from almost-panic, to whatever else when he started talking.
He introduced himself and his daughter, apologized for the lateness and explained that he had just arrived a couple of hours ago. He said that little Marlene wasn’t sleeping well, and could he perhaps buy some warm milk so he could get her to sleep?
I don’t know if it was the fact he was carrying his daughter around or if he just started talking at the right time, but I let them in and pulled out some milk-luckily a couple of Mike’s specialty drinks required milk as an ingredient. It took some work but eventually, we managed to get Marlene to drink it.
She was still fussing a little after, probably from the beer and vomit smell. Anyway, I had just gotten done cleaning up the dishes when her fussing turned into laughter. I looked up and there was Barret dancing across the floor, Marlene tucked into his chest. He was surprisingly good at, managing to weave his way around the room without bumping into anything. Then he got to where I had place the mop and bucket by the bar, and there was a *THUMP-SPLASH*. And I just knew what I would find when I looked over the counter, and I was right.
Barret’s foot, stuck in the bucket. Marlene just laughed, and clapped.
It took three hours to get his foot unstuck and by then not only was Marlene fast asleep, but it was almost dawn. I had thought he would leave at that point, but instead he stayed. Helped me finish cleaning up, even took a look at some of the furniture-managed to fix quite a bit of it too.
We parted ways after that, he had to get back, and I needed sleep. I saw him every now and then, usually looking for milk for Marlene or just someone to talk to. I didn’t mind, and he was there for me six month later when Mike got hit during a gang war. Eventually the original leaders of AVALANCHE were taken out, and Barret moved their headquarters to Seventh Heaven when he took charge.
And then Cloud showed up, but you all know what happened after that.
***
“I can’t-believe you-” Yuffie managed to gasp out before the laughter became too much and she all but collapsed on Tifa.
“Oh yeah? Look who’s talkin’ Miss Foot Pain Princess!”
“Barret!”
***
None of you were there for it, but one time when we were all out monster huntin’, tryin’ to find this one beastie ‘cause it was known for pickin’ up somethin’ we wanted, me n’ Aeris n’ Vincent had just come back from a days huntin’. We got to the camp site n’ there was Yuffie, up this dang tree-workin’ on ‘er balance she said. She told us that Cid n’ Tifa had gone into town to dump a bunch of items we had gotten but didn’t need, n’ that Cloud, Nanaki n’ Cait Sith weren’t back yet.
So the three of us started settin’ up camp, n’ ‘cause there was this big pile of wood under the tree she was in, none of us bothered to holler Yuffie down. So we get ‘bout half-way done when Yuffie gives this gods-almighty shriek n’ drops like a rock, the three of us run over, but with all ‘er fussin’ n’ hollerin’ all we can figure out is that’s it’s somethin’ to do with ‘er foot.
Eventually Aeris gave up n’ had me n’ Vincent sit on ‘er so she can figure out what’s wrong.
So we did, n’ she did, n’ Aeris comes around n’ she’s got such a serious look on ‘er face that me n’ Vincent both get worried, n’ then I asked ‘er what was it?
Aeris holds out her pinky, n’ right there is the tiniest little sliver you ever saw.
Yuffie never took her shoes off when tree-walkin’ ever again after that.
***
Hearing Cloud chuckle beside her through the howls of the others, the young woman turned on him. “Look who’s talking Cloudcobo! Those hens did a number on you, right?”
Cloud just groaned and hid his face in his hands.
***
So, like, this was back when we were all running around collecting all those super-cool material so we could finally go down and beat the stuffing out of tall, pale, and gloomies’ ass, okay?
Well, me and Cloud were out trying to find a white hen for Cloud to breed or something, but we kept finding nothing but greens and yellows-they were everywhere! So finally we decided to take a break ‘cause, I mean, We’d been running around all day! So we sat ourselves down under this tree, and we must have been way more tired than we thought, ‘cause we started snoozing.
So I’m sleeping and dreaming of how we’re gonna kick the albino’s ass right? And then ‘bout a dozen chicobos run right over me-like I’m a racetrack or something! So I’m sitting up and trying to figure out what’s going on-I mean, who wakes up normally to bird prints all over? And then I realize that the flock that we’d been tracking, like, decided to join us-and I mean the whole damn flock!
So I’m looking around, trying to spot Cloud, see if he’s awake and knows what’s up, and yeah, he’s up, and yeah, he knows about the birds, ‘cause, like, he’s got two of them sitting on either side, and one on top! And their tryin’ to preen his hair-seriously!
It took us awhile the get the birds off him, ‘cause like, not even our best greens could get them off, we had to wait until each one was satisfied with his hair before they would leave!
And the funniest part was that one followed us back to camp!
***
It was Tifa giggling “That explains Clover.” To Shera that caught Cloud’s attention and reminded him of another incident involving Tifa and a bar.
Grinning rather wickedly, the blond began.
***
Everybody remembers Mideel right? Well this was after I’d recovered but before the doctors cleared me to leave. At that point I was sneaking away every chance I got; the memories I’d just gotten back were just too fresh for me to stay.
Anyway, during one of my times ‘out’ I passed by a crowd in front of a bar, and after catching a couple snatches of conversation, decided to find out what was going on. Seems someone had dared some woman to a drinking contest, and not only had she won, but now she was tacking the place apart, anyone who tried approaching her not only got beat up but got the place even more trashed.
It was at this point that I heard a very familiar voice singing an old Nibelheim lullaby. Yep, you guessed it; it was Tifa, drunk off her rocker with all the safeties gone.
It took two hours, a Sleep and a promised Mastered Cure to get everything settled and Tifa somewhere she could sleep the alcohol off.
And if any of you are wondering, yes that is the exact reason why Tifa won’t touch anything alcohol unless its apple beer.
Though on the bright side, the very next day, the doctors discharged me without a single fuss.
***
Any response by Tifa was quickly forgotten as the pans of chestnuts made their readiness known to the group. For the next several minutes, there was nothing but scrambling as they pulled the nuts off the fire, dished them up, and tried to eat them without burning their mouths.
Eventually things settled down and the stories began again.
***
Do you all perhaps remember, one day while at rocket town, the day when all of us male returned from a round of monster hunting to find Aeris, Shera, Tifa, and Yuffie both highly annoyed and not in the mood to share?
Well, mayhap I should enlighten you as to what occurred.
If you will all recall, while out that day I got separated from my group and as pre-agreed I headed back to town in order to meet up with them.
Along the way however, I found a most interesting scene.
Shera it seems had decided to try her hand at monster hunting and the ladies agreed to oblige her. However, I doubt the beast they found was planned. In form it was not unlike a malboro, though the color was somewhat sour and reminded me of fish too long out of the water, in scent it was most foul and in voice it made Chaos hiss.
The ladies however, took it all in stride and the lessons were going well. And when the beast was down to its last vapors of life, Shera struck the final blow.
And thus the beast exploded.
Everywhere.
Needless to say, being covered in exploded monster goo was not appreciated. Unfortunately there was no water nearby in amounts sufficient to do more than get it off their hands and faces. For the rest they could only attempt to wipe as much off as they could and simply put up with what they could not remove.
Knowing that our female companions would not appreciate being looked upon in such a state, I decided to not make myself known to them. And being unaware of what might be attracted by the slime the quartet now sported, I felt it would be beneficial if I followed from a distance to ensure their travel would have not interruptions.
Before long we had returned to Cid’s house, and the ladies concluded a quick game of Sword-Gun-Fist to decide who was showering first. The four entered the domicile none too soon, for just as the door closed behind them, Barret and Cait Sith appeared at the head of the road.
Thinking it best to prevent disaster I went to intercept them, knowing full well what would happen if any disturbed the ladies at that time.
***
Reeve and Barret shot decidedly grateful looks at Vincent. Tifa, Yuffie, and Shera couldn’t seem to decide who to glare at, and Cid was laughing so hard he fell off the stump.
That seemed to decide Shera.
***
You’ve all seen what Cid is like when it comes to his cigs and tea right? Well, have you ever considered him without either?
Well believe me, it wasn’t pretty.
This was about six months before the big rocket launch that went sour. It was springtime, and everything was breeding like nuts, and I do mean everything.
There were monsters cropping up all over the place, got to be you couldn’t get ten feet beyond the town borders without being attacked.
And then one morning the tea was gone, we had some stuff that the people in town grew for chewing in the morning, but it wasn’t the same. Doesn’t need to be said that it was hard as hell to get him up in the mornings, and let’s not even get into the rants. But after a while we just stopped talking to Cid until lunch.
Two weeks later the cigs ran out.
Now, I’m sure you’ve all seen what happens to someone when they go through withdrawal right? Multiply it by ten and proportion it to a dragon that’s gotten woken up during hibernation and you’ve got a pretty good idea what we were dealing with.
After ten days we were all walking on eggshells, because at that point anything set Cid off and there weren’t enough earplugs to go around.
I don’t know what it was that made me snap, but I did. I hauled him out back, turned on the water and hosed him down. I then told him that if he wanted is tea and cig fix so bad he could go get them himself instead of waiting like the rest of us for the resupply caravan to get through.
And, well, that’s what he did.
He grabbed a pack, his spear, and headed out. It was after a week had passed and I’d finished working out my own frustrations at the situation on a particularly stubborn engine that I started to worry. But not four days later, the supply convoy rolled up into town with Cid in the front car.
Turns out Cid had run into them on his way to the nearest village along the caravan route, so when he explained things they gave him a ride back.
Funny thing was, from that point on they only ran into monsters three times, and each time the monsters turned tail and ran whenever they saw Cid or heard him yell.
That route’s been pretty much free of monsters ever since.
***
Under the laughter of the other, Cid could easily hear the pleased rumble from Nanaki, the huge lion was splayed out, stomach distended from his meal.
“Heh, ya like that story eh furface? Well how about this one?”
***
You all remember what was goin’ on right after Meteor right? Hell, I doubt any of us’ll ever forget those days.
Well, this was the day after Reeve brought Marlene outa whatever hole he’d stashed her into, and Barret was still introducin’ her to everyone-was trying to take it slow so as to not overwhelm the tyke.
It got on to the afternoon, Me an’ Nanaki had gone out to start workin’ on the trucks, see which ones could be fixed and which couldn’t, so we could start moving people and supplies you know? Marlene had met some local kids and was off playin’ some game, Cloud, Tifa, an’ Vinny were off onna monster sweep, and I don’t remember where the hell the rest of you went off to.
So I’ve got my fingers buried in some engine when I hear this yelp and a buncha young-ish voices yelling Kitty! Wonderin’ what the hell’s goin’ on I pull myself out and turn around and there’s Nanaki buried under half a dozen or so knee-highs who are trying to pet the kitty.
Includin’ Marlene, sitting place o’ pride right on his mane.
And you could just tell by the look on furries face that he’d gone through this sorta thing enough times for it to get old fast.
***
While the other’s around the fire laughed, the look Nanaki shot Cid suggested the man should check his boot very carefully in the morning, for he was in for a surprise.
Turning to glare at the ex-Turk reclining beside him, Nanaki flicked an ear at the smirk the man wore, receiving a raised eyebrow in response, the lion grinned.
***
I will tell you all of a strange creature I know of. It is considered strange because it will only begin its breeding season when a specific set of conditions are met.
There must be several warm, dry days-not too hot or it will think its summer, not too cold it will think its winter, no rain or it will think its fall-perhaps a light mist in the morning, but cloudless the rest of the day.
This of course, is only the beginning, but during this time both sexes will eat much more than they normally would, the males will stake their claims, the females will scent the air, and the skies reverberate with their roars.
And then a moon will rise, bright and full and cloudless in the night sky and the forests and valleys and mountains will be filled with their howls and growls, their roars and whimpers. And with the dawn, there will be blood on the ground, some will be dead, the rest alive, and come the following winter, the next generation will be born.
But what I know of this creature is small, if you wish to know more you should ask Vincent, or specifically, the Galian Beast.
***
Wide eyes and open mouths were aimed at Vincent from around the fire until Tifa, Yuffie, and Shera blinked as one and stated “Well, that explains a lot.”
And now it was Vincent’s turn to be the focus of their good-natured teasing as the next round of tea, coffee, cocoa, and alcohol was passed around.
When all were settled once again, Reeve spoke up.
“I have a story.” He offered. “Though it’s from the early days, before Nibelheim, if that’s all right?” Looking towards Cloud for permission, Reeve happily continued with the blonds consent.
***
Fantastic! Well, this was a year, year-and-a-half before that night. Back then I was just a simple engineer in my department, and while my star was rising, I’m glad to say it wasn’t the meteoric rises that made so many crash and burn.
At the same time there was this SOLDIER 1st Class called Zack Fair. He was known as being the one person who could-and yes I’m counting on my fingers here-groan at Genesis’s obsession with Loveless and not get flamed, roughhouse with Angeal and always come back for more, get Sephiroth to laugh-and even crack the occasional joke, and go toe to toe with a Turk named Reno in the Pranks and Stupid Things Pulled On Missions category and have a chance of coming out on top.
Though not to say that last part was encouraged you see.
As well, there was a new young Turk that was not only doing a number on the Turks reputation, and causing many to rethink their opinion of the group-to people even more insane and dangerous than they first thought! He was also known to be the originator of many a Prank War within Shinra.
Which is actually how this story starts; with a Prank War.
If it wasn’t the slight shrinkage in the Turk uniforms, it was the dye in the SOLDIERs shampoo, this prank war had gone on long enough for not only the other departments to notice, but start betting on what would be next-in fact I think it was the betting that gave them their ideas sometimes!
The primary instigators in all this were Zack and Reno, and both were pulling out all the stops. The reason is there were a bunch of rumors circulating that Old Man Shinra was planning to update the company rules to include a ban on all prank wars from now on.
Now, up until this point the ones taking part in all this were the Turks and SOLDIER, everyone else was keeping their heads down. That however changed when someone decided to prank the engineer’s weekly meeting. While I won’t go into details, I will simply say-
It was War
We didn’t do anything right away, if there is one true fact about engineers, it is that we are both patient and creative.
It’s in our job description after all.
It took a while to decide what to do, but eventually we settled on something that would get the message across.
One fine day, three weeks after the prank we suffered, the engineers struck back.
All the perpetrators of this particular prank war were invited to attend a meeting to be held that evening, and by ‘invite’ I mean received a message signed by Old Man Shinra ordering them to be there.
At the appointed time all those involved were within the trap, and as the clock turned over, the door slammed shut. Those inside quickly discovered the door was a fake, hiding in reality a SOLDIER-proof hatchway to a SOLDIER-proof room. Well, proof to a certain degree anyway-needless to say the group was collectively stuck.
And then the sprinkler system went off, but it was not water that came out, but pickle juice laced with a skin-permeable sedative, and in five minutes the entire lot was sleeping away.
Now, you’re wondering how a mere sedative could take down a SOLDIER, when all but a handful of drugs simply don’t work on their biology, and those are practically poison to the non-enhanced.
It turns out that pickle juice has the same effect as a sedative on a normal person, and toss in the drugs we laced it with and you get the picture.
Yes, you heard me right, pickle juice knocks out SOLDIERs, and no I don’t know why either, yes, it made our brains hurt as much as yours are right now contemplating that fact.
Now, back to the story.
I will not go over the next several hours of our revenge, but the next morning the victims woke up to find themselves plastered to various ceilings via randomly combined mediums, wearing the most ridiculous outfits we could find, and sprouting some rather bizarre hair styles.
Oh, they also reeked of pickles.
This of course, was all timed to happen just before the day shift arrived to get to work.
While the prank wars came and went after that, engineering was never-either collectively or singularly-pranked again. Our revenge got the message across, so we dropped it and went back to our projects.
We also got a lot more respect than ever, but that’s a different story.
And while they were all eventually taken down and cleaned up, I have to say that Zack actually looked fairly good with sparkly, hot-purple hair.
***
Laughter once more rang out in the canyon, Reeve getting his teasing as Yuffie reeled in Cait Sith for a cuddle. Hearing them the last few animals still awake gave the humans a collective nasty look before giving up and seeking their dens.
And the stories continued, link upon link, building the chains that bound them together.