more frequently in memory than in life. (Soukyuu no Fafner, Kazuki/Soushi)
Title: more frequently in memory than in life.
Author/Artist: allira_dream
Rating: R/NC17.
Warnings: Spoilers for the end of the anime.
Word count: 730.
Summary: No matter what else happened, Kazuki is the one memory that Soushi would always keep.
A/N: Sokyuu no Fafner, Kazuki/Soushi: languid sex in a morning shower - "'Cause I don't ever wanna miss being here with you like this"
more frequently in memory than in life.
The water falls down and his eyes remain closed. Breathing in and out and sometimes, his dreams are still those of a Festum, wondering who is out there and of the I-am-us-and-us-are-me and even the water doesn't really feel like water, and sometimes Soushi can almost forget about it and--
Arms wrapped around him, soft and Soushi would have startled if he didn't know Kazuki so well, the 'me' that is different from any other 'us', the memory that brought him back. Still, he relaxed as Kazuki yawned against his back and leaned against him, as naked as him, as close as no one else will ever be.
“Morning.”
“Early,” Kazuki complained, yawned again, nuzzled against the back of his neck and Soushi could feel himself and he could feel Soushi, and he didn't feel like sharing that at all, not with the me-that-is us.
I'm Soushi. This is me.
Slowly, his body became his and he could feel Soushi's arms tight around his middle, could feel his hair damp on his back and probably sticking to Kazuki's face; he could feel the way he breathed in and out and he could feel Soushi trying to be closer.
“Kazuki?”
“Sometimes you go so far away,” Kazuki said, voice soft, even before he could reach to touch his hands. “That I'm afraid I won't be able to follow.”
His voice was still slow, and that meant that Kazuki remained partly asleep, even though he had been the one thing that Soushi had had back then, when there was nothing and everything, when he was the us of me. Kazuki's voice, Kazuki's existance: the one thought he had kept which made it so that he could come back.
“Oh, Kazuki...”
But then Kazuki's lips moved gently, over his neck, pressing him forward, against the wall. Soushi sighed, tried ti ignore the way the cool tiles felt and instead he focused on how Kazuki moved against him, his lips and hands touching him still, despite the months, with so much care. Now without sight, Kazuki's hands told him everything he needed and Soushi let his body lax, let Kazuki touch and reassure himself that he was there.
His body still slow, his blood like honey inside him, the tiles cool where he was pressed but Kazuki was warm behind him, by his side, the steam curling upwards. Kazuki breathed his name against his neck, bit gently and his fingers moved down over his back, made him gasp, eyes barely open, as if it was a dream.
“Soushi,” Kazuki moaned again, on the nape of his neck, need and care in his touch, too much, so much and Soushi knew that he would never understand completely that, no matter what.
“Kazuki,” he said instead, or asked perhaps, turning around, leaning to kiss Kazuki, let him press closer so that he could feel him better, so that even the lack of light in Kazuki's eyes was present for him and that he could take in everything, from the way that water clung to his hair to the way he parted his lips for a kiss, always pressing close, rocking against his body just like this.
This was him. The him that could nip at Kazuki's tongue and who could run his hands over the muscles of Kazuki's back. The him that would realize the way Kazuki shivers and moans and touches him gently, half asleep and yet there and needy but trusting, and it's him breathing this air and moaning as Kazuki's fingers closed around them both gently, careful touch of rough hands, and Soushi came with Kazuki's name, the only thing that would never cease to exist in his mind, even if he was to forget his own name.
The water was significantly cooler when he opened his eyes again, and Kazuki was still pressed to him, breathing in and out against his neck, gone back to being almost asleep. Soushi found himself smiling.
-- and sometimes the water falls down and his eyes remain closed. Breathing in and out and in his dreams of are-you-there and -I-am-us-are I there is-- light, he realizes, and sand and waves and he thinks he hears Tsubaki's laugh, teasing and gentle, and the water is warm and Soushi finds Kazuki right there, brighter than any star he could have ever seen.
Author/Artist: allira_dream
Rating: R/NC17.
Warnings: Spoilers for the end of the anime.
Word count: 730.
Summary: No matter what else happened, Kazuki is the one memory that Soushi would always keep.
A/N: Sokyuu no Fafner, Kazuki/Soushi: languid sex in a morning shower - "'Cause I don't ever wanna miss being here with you like this"
more frequently in memory than in life.
The water falls down and his eyes remain closed. Breathing in and out and sometimes, his dreams are still those of a Festum, wondering who is out there and of the I-am-us-and-us-are-me and even the water doesn't really feel like water, and sometimes Soushi can almost forget about it and--
Arms wrapped around him, soft and Soushi would have startled if he didn't know Kazuki so well, the 'me' that is different from any other 'us', the memory that brought him back. Still, he relaxed as Kazuki yawned against his back and leaned against him, as naked as him, as close as no one else will ever be.
“Morning.”
“Early,” Kazuki complained, yawned again, nuzzled against the back of his neck and Soushi could feel himself and he could feel Soushi, and he didn't feel like sharing that at all, not with the me-that-is us.
I'm Soushi. This is me.
Slowly, his body became his and he could feel Soushi's arms tight around his middle, could feel his hair damp on his back and probably sticking to Kazuki's face; he could feel the way he breathed in and out and he could feel Soushi trying to be closer.
“Kazuki?”
“Sometimes you go so far away,” Kazuki said, voice soft, even before he could reach to touch his hands. “That I'm afraid I won't be able to follow.”
His voice was still slow, and that meant that Kazuki remained partly asleep, even though he had been the one thing that Soushi had had back then, when there was nothing and everything, when he was the us of me. Kazuki's voice, Kazuki's existance: the one thought he had kept which made it so that he could come back.
“Oh, Kazuki...”
But then Kazuki's lips moved gently, over his neck, pressing him forward, against the wall. Soushi sighed, tried ti ignore the way the cool tiles felt and instead he focused on how Kazuki moved against him, his lips and hands touching him still, despite the months, with so much care. Now without sight, Kazuki's hands told him everything he needed and Soushi let his body lax, let Kazuki touch and reassure himself that he was there.
His body still slow, his blood like honey inside him, the tiles cool where he was pressed but Kazuki was warm behind him, by his side, the steam curling upwards. Kazuki breathed his name against his neck, bit gently and his fingers moved down over his back, made him gasp, eyes barely open, as if it was a dream.
“Soushi,” Kazuki moaned again, on the nape of his neck, need and care in his touch, too much, so much and Soushi knew that he would never understand completely that, no matter what.
“Kazuki,” he said instead, or asked perhaps, turning around, leaning to kiss Kazuki, let him press closer so that he could feel him better, so that even the lack of light in Kazuki's eyes was present for him and that he could take in everything, from the way that water clung to his hair to the way he parted his lips for a kiss, always pressing close, rocking against his body just like this.
This was him. The him that could nip at Kazuki's tongue and who could run his hands over the muscles of Kazuki's back. The him that would realize the way Kazuki shivers and moans and touches him gently, half asleep and yet there and needy but trusting, and it's him breathing this air and moaning as Kazuki's fingers closed around them both gently, careful touch of rough hands, and Soushi came with Kazuki's name, the only thing that would never cease to exist in his mind, even if he was to forget his own name.
The water was significantly cooler when he opened his eyes again, and Kazuki was still pressed to him, breathing in and out against his neck, gone back to being almost asleep. Soushi found himself smiling.
-- and sometimes the water falls down and his eyes remain closed. Breathing in and out and in his dreams of are-you-there and -I-am-us-are I there is-- light, he realizes, and sand and waves and he thinks he hears Tsubaki's laugh, teasing and gentle, and the water is warm and Soushi finds Kazuki right there, brighter than any star he could have ever seen.