limbo

[spreadaloha]

hm... not feeling so hot right now... on so many levels. im pretty much in limbo... there is so much to be happy about and so much to wanna shoot myself about. i guess a better example of this would be that as much stuff that is going right... is also going wrong. my parents are being little retards about me going away to college. they flip out about stupid stuff and give me crap all day.. i guess their way of kinda holding on to me. little things that people say are really just starting to get to me... whether they are joking or not. im not the most confident girl in the world so things like that build up. hearing old friends talk crap... ain't too fun to hear... definetly not music to my ears. i guess it all just a bunch of stress and that all this seems to matter so much but it really doesn't. im trying to get ready for college gymnastics and it sure is kicking my butt. im dead after ever flipping 4 hour practice. my parents and family friends make me really self aware of my body. you shouldn't eat that. eat more. do this. do that. it reallllllllly pisses me off. i know what im doing so leave me the F alone. i hate eing told im fat... then by someone else say im skinny. get it together people. im one or the other... not both. sorry... im a little bitter.

on anothr note... im planning a surprise for tim on friday... just to show him how much i care and just a little something special for him. i hope he likes it.

went to a BBQ at robbies yesterday. got thrown in the flipping pool with my towel by robbie. had alot of fun though. tim and robbie were drinking so i was designated driver. funny stuff! talked crap on scott with his family... goof times.