HP uncanon drabble-a-thon dump
Two very different drabs I wrote for the karmicsunshine harry potter uncanon drabble-a-thon. Comments and criticism greatly welcomed.
Here, @ karmicsunshine
All NON canon pairings are welcome, as well as any wild, zany prompts you can imagine!
From the people who brought you the Harry Potter Anonymous Kink Meme!
Title: The Dumbledore Patented Guide to Wasters
Pairing: Mcgonagall/Rosmerta (sorta. But it's really more Mcgonagall/gen or gen!crackfic). Just read it.
Rating: PG for bad language
Word count: 196
Prompt: this icon:
The Dumbledore Patented Guide to Wasters
Well, some people get wasted and they get nasty, headbutts and whatnot. No, I won’t say. That’s too... Ok, Trelawny.
Some people get smashed and giggly, like, tweaking people’s noses and collapsing on the floor. I better not say, Hermione. Well, alright, that’s Snape, OK?
Then there are the ones that, when hammered, get teary. That’s basically Hagrid’s style.
The invincible, joke-telling wasters are a laugh. Especially when he starts giving people piggy back rides. That’s Flitwick. No, seriously.
Mcgonagall? Well, she’s… unique. I can’t really… well, last time, she stood up on the table and said "I am so fucking wasted. Now, if I don’t get fucked, that will be a waste." Or, at least, I think that’s what she said. And then she and Rosmerta went upstairs together. Is something wrong, Hermione? Your pupils are dilating! No? OK - oh, I know what she’s like! Her face gets this glow, like one of the Weasley boys’ joke halos, and she acts like a bisexual rabbit on crack.
So, that’s what the staff summer holiday parties are like.
Oh, I forgot me. The type that gets drunk and tells other people’s inappropriate secrets; that’s me. Oh yes.
Title: Spare Time
Pairing: Riddle/Mcgonagall (but again, it's more Riddle/gen)
Rating: NC17, for masturbation and serious Riddle fucked-up-ness. Yes, I have written early Voldemort wank. It's "haunting".
Word count: 181
Prompt: 'Riddle/Mcgonagall, prefects' bathroom, school age'
Spare Time
I like to come in here between lessons, you see. It’s the only place where I can look at myself in peace.
Usually I have something to think about, but occasionally I masturbate instead. I never masturbate in my dormitory, because I can feel the boys close by, and their smell and proximity disturbs me. I also prefer it in here because there’s a wall length mirror.
I continued fantasising about strange people today. I suppose you could call it my little challenge to rape myself. Because I have to force myself to think about these people. Sometimes I even retch as I’m ejaculating. Today it was Professor Mcgonagall; I’m not sure why, but her face came straight to mind when I got my penis out. I think her vagina must be very dry.
Afterwards, I thought of her docking points from Slytherin because I hadn’t been big enough.
It would be perturbing, to muggles or girls, I suppose, to imagine things like that. But I find my mind expands with such things. They help me realise how petty feelings are.
Here, @ karmicsunshine
All NON canon pairings are welcome, as well as any wild, zany prompts you can imagine!
From the people who brought you the Harry Potter Anonymous Kink Meme!
Title: The Dumbledore Patented Guide to Wasters
Pairing: Mcgonagall/Rosmerta (sorta. But it's really more Mcgonagall/gen or gen!crackfic). Just read it.
Rating: PG for bad language
Word count: 196
Prompt: this icon:
The Dumbledore Patented Guide to Wasters
Well, some people get wasted and they get nasty, headbutts and whatnot. No, I won’t say. That’s too... Ok, Trelawny.
Some people get smashed and giggly, like, tweaking people’s noses and collapsing on the floor. I better not say, Hermione. Well, alright, that’s Snape, OK?
Then there are the ones that, when hammered, get teary. That’s basically Hagrid’s style.
The invincible, joke-telling wasters are a laugh. Especially when he starts giving people piggy back rides. That’s Flitwick. No, seriously.
Mcgonagall? Well, she’s… unique. I can’t really… well, last time, she stood up on the table and said "I am so fucking wasted. Now, if I don’t get fucked, that will be a waste." Or, at least, I think that’s what she said. And then she and Rosmerta went upstairs together. Is something wrong, Hermione? Your pupils are dilating! No? OK - oh, I know what she’s like! Her face gets this glow, like one of the Weasley boys’ joke halos, and she acts like a bisexual rabbit on crack.
So, that’s what the staff summer holiday parties are like.
Oh, I forgot me. The type that gets drunk and tells other people’s inappropriate secrets; that’s me. Oh yes.
Title: Spare Time
Pairing: Riddle/Mcgonagall (but again, it's more Riddle/gen)
Rating: NC17, for masturbation and serious Riddle fucked-up-ness. Yes, I have written early Voldemort wank. It's "haunting".
Word count: 181
Prompt: 'Riddle/Mcgonagall, prefects' bathroom, school age'
Spare Time
I like to come in here between lessons, you see. It’s the only place where I can look at myself in peace.
Usually I have something to think about, but occasionally I masturbate instead. I never masturbate in my dormitory, because I can feel the boys close by, and their smell and proximity disturbs me. I also prefer it in here because there’s a wall length mirror.
I continued fantasising about strange people today. I suppose you could call it my little challenge to rape myself. Because I have to force myself to think about these people. Sometimes I even retch as I’m ejaculating. Today it was Professor Mcgonagall; I’m not sure why, but her face came straight to mind when I got my penis out. I think her vagina must be very dry.
Afterwards, I thought of her docking points from Slytherin because I hadn’t been big enough.
It would be perturbing, to muggles or girls, I suppose, to imagine things like that. But I find my mind expands with such things. They help me realise how petty feelings are.