I"m back for a bit
Has it really been nearly two a half months since my last entry? EEP!
For many it will be a surprise that I am back and writing. And perhaps a lot of you have turned off in the meanwhile. I do apologise for not responding to my dear American friends. LJ however was a period, a phase in which I would transcend and become a new “me”. It was a means to an end, looking back, and I thank you all for your comments and additions at the time.
However not to get all emotional and D&M, its great to be (at least ,momentarily) returning.
And the reason is purely sharing of relfections.
Yes I, the humble young Australian, am once again head-over-heels in love.
It could be lust, it could be piqued interest. But its something....that raises my curiosity. But let me run back to the beginning to make some sense.
You see, I've spent the past 2-3 months doing so much, but it feels like such a longer time. My work has just gone up and up into heights of personal achievement and gratification I could only dream of.
I have a wonderful team, an amazing family and an ideal-ish life.
But finding that other, that someone... well I may be there, I may be not. And I may need your guidance.
I met a girl at a random bar a month ago (yes it sounds cliché). Now she was no physical beauty in the mainstream sense, but we laughed and chatted and decided to pursue a relationship for a week. It didn't last as I called it off I didn't have that physical attraction.
And then an Aussie superstar came into my sights, and I was smitten. I loved her voice, her sould her purity and heart, and still do.
And yes, much to my colleagues chargrin, we danced and laughed as newly-found friends. It was however a short lived acquaintence.
But realism is kicking in. Much like the last girl I was smitten for, I'vre come to realise though shes got a beautiful soul, it could only happen in a fantasy world.
But then tonight... well wow. LJ - I may have found her at the most unexpected time in my life.
I remember rocking up to this artsy well-to-do gathering, and walking around in my business attire, white wine in one hand, eyes searching for those I knew in the crowd. And then I was introduced to her.
At first glance, she seemed... cute. Honest. Open. And so we begun the intricate dance of subtle courtship, sharing stories and weaving words and laughter into topics familiar and alien alike.
Turns out we have similar passions. She in arts, mine in media. And when I took visage upon her works... I behald a sight mine eyes hath not seen before. For in those dots and acrylic swirls lay meaning, message and compassion.
Here is a woman who is true and loving to her people and family. Sure she was a treat to the eye, but what caught my attention was her character (even after a few wines).
And then the blushes, the whole “hey Josh is single, hint hint nudge nudge” from colleagues.... but could I help it?
Guys. I think I might be IN love. A genuine heartfelt love. Maybe its wrong, but I don't know.
But to take a chance again is somewhat scary. I loved once and was turned down in a kind way. Other times I forced myself into loving something that was not real. To have the capacity to love is surely a great thing. But security always came from withdrawing inside and not sharing and bearing my soul with another.
Is it selfish to think that way? Or should I take a chance on a woman who, for once in so long, I could easily converse with as myself, and who more often than not gave me the most gorgeous, heartwarming smile?
I'm am definitely to meet her within a week at an exhibition dedicated to her artwork. Sure I'm cryptic here... but argh.
Lets play it by ear.
Its 1am so I'm finishing up to sleep. I want to write more but feel an audio file would help me come across much more... emotionally to you, my wonderful audience. Bah I'm ranting.
Basically without pining to you on my lack of lovelife.. I'm in genuinely good spirits and am maturing into something my family would be proud of.
In short, I'm ruling my world, I'm taking the mic and laying down the line. And as for this girl, I think I like her. And I'm going to get to know her, so wish me luck!
Because honestly what is embarrasment when we may miss out on something good.
Until then my friends, stay safe, stay well.
- J