Damn the rose colored glasses

[spookysqueek]

The lack of objectivity in this situation is frustrating. I'm wondering if I haven't just behaved like a scared little girl and run away from something strange and new just because it was different. I know that's not entirely true and that there were some genuinely not good things about my relationship with Lynden, mostly that I didn't want to have sex anymore, that definitely qualifies as not good. I guess I'm just starting to feel now that maybe there was some way I didn't try, something else I could have done. Maybe I was just spending too much time wondering about the shade of the grass on the other side of the fence. Maybe I'm only thinking that because it would be nice if it were true. But I had a guy who was willing to put up with me while I work through school, who was willing to travel the country with me when I was done. He could geek out or go camping or do whatever, and I gave all that up.

I wish these damn things came with instruction manuals. You know, "Your relationship requires only routine maintenance at this time" or "Your relationship is malfunctioning, please return to manufacturer for replacement."