Boccaccio exam
Well, I took my exam yesterday morning and am glad to have it over with. Mostly glad. In some ways it gave me purpose. I studied really hard for it, and did well. But today and yesterday the old meaningless feeling has started to creep back into my bloodstream. I just don't know what to do about it. I'm here for another week and a half but the air is already leaving a stale taste in my mouth and I'm ready to get on with my life. I'm having a hard time having fun. Do you know what I mean? I crave that unadulterated laugh-out-loud spontaneous adventurous creative clever rollicking-good-time fun. I don't want to go to another bar. I always promised myself I would drink only as an enhancer, not as my sole entertainment. The group here, as much as they're nice or cool or good to be around, aren't very good at the fun sort of fun (my kind of fun). They seem sort of wrapped up in petty gossip and superficialities. Maybe I have too high of expectations. Or maybe it's because we don't know the city well enough and don't have transportation. Actually, to be honest, my deep fear is that the problem is not with my friends but with myself. I'm afraid I've lost the ability to invent fun. Am I old? Is this what becoming an adult does to me? The real test will be at home this summer, where my fun friends abound.