The Power of Cheese
My mom asked me what i wanted for Christmas. After thinking about it i replied, "A cheese wheel." Caught totally off guard, she questioned WHAT a cheese wheel is - i'm guessing she had the image of a type of tire in her head (bicycle wheel?). I think i was serious at first, and then i resolved that a cheese wheel of gouda would probably be all i asked for. Although serious, this is humorous to me :-D
Moments before my mom had asked me, i heard someone on tv say "...[this], [that], a cheese wheel..." and it reminded me of an episode this Fall season from How I Met Your Mother, a show that me and a friend from home enjoy watching and usually share inside jokes regarding moments in the show...her and i are the only 2 people i know who watch that show, lol. In one episode, married couple Marshall and Lily host a dinner date for their best friends Barney and Robin to try to teach them things that couples normally do. The whole thing points out what a coupled-geek Marshall and Lily really are, for instance, when Marshall aggressively attempts to share his plate of gouda cheese and crackers. My friend and i laugh when Marshall gets involved with food in any of the episodes because i remind her of Marshall. She thinks Marshall and i would be best friends in real life, and i can't help but agree. It's ridiculous how good of friends Marshall and i would be...and it'd be based on food, lol. So actually, ever since this episode me and my friend looked up info on gouda cheese cuz we hadn't heard of it before. It's kinda hard to find and it's not cheap. Ah, while Marshall's taste for food is vast, he still has class ;-). Now i'm determined to check out what gouda cheese is! Turns out, it is most often sold as a wheel of cheese :-).
Why did i ask for only this for Christmas? Times are tough, money is tight. I don't want to burden my family as "one more person to try to please" for Christmas. Part of me just doesn't want anything. Another part of me just doesn't want anything from my parents. I guess this part of me comes from the false sense of joy i've known all my life during Christmas. Sitting together handing out presents from underneath the tree always felt forced. I've hardly been able to "return the gift of joy" to my parents. They MIGHT sometimes feel joyed at giving gifts to their kids, but it was obvious they expected a joyful reaction in turn. This might seem petty to you, but it has been scarring. Later on it became a camera in the face, waiting for a smile; a comment; a hug; always something, ready to make me feel guilty if i didn't appreciate it enough. To feel as though you were given a gift not out of love, but out of getting something in return. You know the phrase "tis better to give than to receive." Come to think of it, respectfully, with my family it's more like "if i give i had better receive." My whole life it was as if we lived with our heads down, trudging through the days, building our expectations of what it would be like to be a caring, loving family giving JOY at Christmas. Then this "saving day of the year" comes and we put our hopes higher than actually living out what it takes to make that hope come true. I don't know if this makes any sense to you. It's a joy killer to live with unmet expectations during the few times of the year where everyone tries to focus on others. It'd be a different story if we had something to bounce back to, but the truth is hypocritical day-to-day living creates too much baggage to leave at the door. Besides, it's the philosophy of "leave it at the door" that propels the hypocrisy.
Truthfully, i've forgiven my parents of all things. Consuming Fire helped me do that. But just as i suggested to a friend for motivation and advice, it's hard to "own" one's family...to live with them as if you had chosen them -- wanted them. I never expected to write this much about it. Moving on. (As is easier now, but for much of my life had been the hardest thing to do. Generally.)
Another reason i honestly don't want anything for Christmas is my loathing for technology. What should i ask for? The same type of thing i did as a kid? Video games? An updated accessory to replace my outdated one? Something high-tech to show off to others who had never seen one? No. This sickens me. I don't even want a cell phone. Ugh, i almost threw up at the thought of texting. I'm not joking. I would probably attempt to remove / destroy / undo any electronic advancements we have ever made, BUT, that day is coming without my help. Whether by terrorist involvement (which by the way will point out more than ever our reliance on electronics), or by Armageddon (in which those things will be destroyed, followed by the end of the Earth), all of our devotion for advancement will be meaningless.
Yeah, i'd fight for technology if we used it more for helping and less for hurting. And it's hurting when upgrades were intended to make things easier / simpler but ends up complicating problems AND makes us lazier, complacent, and more responsible with more knowledge and ability to help, yet the sense of individuality produced by technology continues to promote self-preservation and an increased hunger for wealth and MORE power. Sorry if that sentence is too much of a run-on to understand...couple of different thoughts going on all at once.
We'd be better off without it, and no matter how great of an argument i can form -- doesn't matter if the majority of mankind fought against technology's place in our lives (because let's face it, that number of people IS and will always be hypothetical) -- no one would listen. I stand alone against technology. You think i'm stupid. I feel ashamed to be a part of this industrial / electronically advanced world, wondering if God had ever intended for things to turn out like this. Wondering if the Creator, who has witnessed all of time, weeps to know that we live ignorant lives placing all our focus on creating our own world the way we like it. We are ignorant to the future. We live for now. We don't realize that 100 years from now OR LESS, not a single person will remember who Michael Jackson was. Think i'm wrong? I'm not far from the truth. We will all be forgotten. Can you remember someone you knew who has passed away in your lifetime (outside of family, and not a celebrity. Someone you actually knew)?
Can you name someone who was popular in the 1930's? Try to name one person who lived in 1810, which was only 200 years ago. Can you think of someone from 500 years ago? 700? 1,000 years ago? The amount of people we know about diminishes the farther back we go, generally. You and i will be forgotten quickly, and i think the amount of people being forgotten will increase exponentially in the future. Whereas the majority of people might believe we are the most knowledgeable people to ever cross the Earth (and will continue to increase in knowledge), i contend that it is not WE who are knowledgeable. It is the compiled data on our interweb, which we take for granted. If we lose electrical power, we can't access this information, don't you see that? We would have to revert back to dust-collected books at the library. But why even use the library if we lost electrical power? We would use all our time and resources frantically trying to get electricity up and running so we can fuel our cars again, go back to work, log on our computers, turn on the tv to keep from boredom...mindless without it. We don't care about what's written in books anymore. At the rate technology is advancing, we won't care about what's written on websites anymore because something else would replace it.
*sigh*
I logged on LJ to write a short post, and i can't do short. I'm sighing and laughing at the same time. Ok, so i haven't decided whether a cheese wheel is all i'm asking for for Christmas (lame English language making me use "for for" lol. I bet if i said it in my Southern accent it wouldn't seem as improper. All i'm askin' fer for Christmas is meh gouda cheese wheel.)
However, these are some of the books i might petition for:
The Irresistible Revolution -- Shane Claiborne
Jesus For President -- Shane Claiborne
Wild At Heart -- John Eldridge
He Chose The Nails -- Max Lucado
...anything by Max Lucado
...anything by C.S. Lewis
Any other suggestions? I'd love to hear from you regarding anything in this post or previous posts :-D. ONE LOVE.
~Jacob
P.S. "Time will not stand still. Today is the day, day of salvation." -- Killswitch Engage, 'Soilborn'
Moments before my mom had asked me, i heard someone on tv say "...[this], [that], a cheese wheel..." and it reminded me of an episode this Fall season from How I Met Your Mother, a show that me and a friend from home enjoy watching and usually share inside jokes regarding moments in the show...her and i are the only 2 people i know who watch that show, lol. In one episode, married couple Marshall and Lily host a dinner date for their best friends Barney and Robin to try to teach them things that couples normally do. The whole thing points out what a coupled-geek Marshall and Lily really are, for instance, when Marshall aggressively attempts to share his plate of gouda cheese and crackers. My friend and i laugh when Marshall gets involved with food in any of the episodes because i remind her of Marshall. She thinks Marshall and i would be best friends in real life, and i can't help but agree. It's ridiculous how good of friends Marshall and i would be...and it'd be based on food, lol. So actually, ever since this episode me and my friend looked up info on gouda cheese cuz we hadn't heard of it before. It's kinda hard to find and it's not cheap. Ah, while Marshall's taste for food is vast, he still has class ;-). Now i'm determined to check out what gouda cheese is! Turns out, it is most often sold as a wheel of cheese :-).
Why did i ask for only this for Christmas? Times are tough, money is tight. I don't want to burden my family as "one more person to try to please" for Christmas. Part of me just doesn't want anything. Another part of me just doesn't want anything from my parents. I guess this part of me comes from the false sense of joy i've known all my life during Christmas. Sitting together handing out presents from underneath the tree always felt forced. I've hardly been able to "return the gift of joy" to my parents. They MIGHT sometimes feel joyed at giving gifts to their kids, but it was obvious they expected a joyful reaction in turn. This might seem petty to you, but it has been scarring. Later on it became a camera in the face, waiting for a smile; a comment; a hug; always something, ready to make me feel guilty if i didn't appreciate it enough. To feel as though you were given a gift not out of love, but out of getting something in return. You know the phrase "tis better to give than to receive." Come to think of it, respectfully, with my family it's more like "if i give i had better receive." My whole life it was as if we lived with our heads down, trudging through the days, building our expectations of what it would be like to be a caring, loving family giving JOY at Christmas. Then this "saving day of the year" comes and we put our hopes higher than actually living out what it takes to make that hope come true. I don't know if this makes any sense to you. It's a joy killer to live with unmet expectations during the few times of the year where everyone tries to focus on others. It'd be a different story if we had something to bounce back to, but the truth is hypocritical day-to-day living creates too much baggage to leave at the door. Besides, it's the philosophy of "leave it at the door" that propels the hypocrisy.
Truthfully, i've forgiven my parents of all things. Consuming Fire helped me do that. But just as i suggested to a friend for motivation and advice, it's hard to "own" one's family...to live with them as if you had chosen them -- wanted them. I never expected to write this much about it. Moving on. (As is easier now, but for much of my life had been the hardest thing to do. Generally.)
Another reason i honestly don't want anything for Christmas is my loathing for technology. What should i ask for? The same type of thing i did as a kid? Video games? An updated accessory to replace my outdated one? Something high-tech to show off to others who had never seen one? No. This sickens me. I don't even want a cell phone. Ugh, i almost threw up at the thought of texting. I'm not joking. I would probably attempt to remove / destroy / undo any electronic advancements we have ever made, BUT, that day is coming without my help. Whether by terrorist involvement (which by the way will point out more than ever our reliance on electronics), or by Armageddon (in which those things will be destroyed, followed by the end of the Earth), all of our devotion for advancement will be meaningless.
Yeah, i'd fight for technology if we used it more for helping and less for hurting. And it's hurting when upgrades were intended to make things easier / simpler but ends up complicating problems AND makes us lazier, complacent, and more responsible with more knowledge and ability to help, yet the sense of individuality produced by technology continues to promote self-preservation and an increased hunger for wealth and MORE power. Sorry if that sentence is too much of a run-on to understand...couple of different thoughts going on all at once.
We'd be better off without it, and no matter how great of an argument i can form -- doesn't matter if the majority of mankind fought against technology's place in our lives (because let's face it, that number of people IS and will always be hypothetical) -- no one would listen. I stand alone against technology. You think i'm stupid. I feel ashamed to be a part of this industrial / electronically advanced world, wondering if God had ever intended for things to turn out like this. Wondering if the Creator, who has witnessed all of time, weeps to know that we live ignorant lives placing all our focus on creating our own world the way we like it. We are ignorant to the future. We live for now. We don't realize that 100 years from now OR LESS, not a single person will remember who Michael Jackson was. Think i'm wrong? I'm not far from the truth. We will all be forgotten. Can you remember someone you knew who has passed away in your lifetime (outside of family, and not a celebrity. Someone you actually knew)?
Can you name someone who was popular in the 1930's? Try to name one person who lived in 1810, which was only 200 years ago. Can you think of someone from 500 years ago? 700? 1,000 years ago? The amount of people we know about diminishes the farther back we go, generally. You and i will be forgotten quickly, and i think the amount of people being forgotten will increase exponentially in the future. Whereas the majority of people might believe we are the most knowledgeable people to ever cross the Earth (and will continue to increase in knowledge), i contend that it is not WE who are knowledgeable. It is the compiled data on our interweb, which we take for granted. If we lose electrical power, we can't access this information, don't you see that? We would have to revert back to dust-collected books at the library. But why even use the library if we lost electrical power? We would use all our time and resources frantically trying to get electricity up and running so we can fuel our cars again, go back to work, log on our computers, turn on the tv to keep from boredom...mindless without it. We don't care about what's written in books anymore. At the rate technology is advancing, we won't care about what's written on websites anymore because something else would replace it.
*sigh*
I logged on LJ to write a short post, and i can't do short. I'm sighing and laughing at the same time. Ok, so i haven't decided whether a cheese wheel is all i'm asking for for Christmas (lame English language making me use "for for" lol. I bet if i said it in my Southern accent it wouldn't seem as improper. All i'm askin' fer for Christmas is meh gouda cheese wheel.)
However, these are some of the books i might petition for:
The Irresistible Revolution -- Shane Claiborne
Jesus For President -- Shane Claiborne
Wild At Heart -- John Eldridge
He Chose The Nails -- Max Lucado
...anything by Max Lucado
...anything by C.S. Lewis
Any other suggestions? I'd love to hear from you regarding anything in this post or previous posts :-D. ONE LOVE.
~Jacob
P.S. "Time will not stand still. Today is the day, day of salvation." -- Killswitch Engage, 'Soilborn'