Specific Fic: John and Dean Hunting While Sam is Away at Stanford
Okay, so I've been looking for this fic for approximately ever and I have never been able to refind it. It's set pre-series, immediately after Sam leaves for Stanford, and it follows John and Dean for the days or weeks after Sam left. It's in John's POV.
Dean is kind of mid-breakdown about the whole thing, but John is kind of refusing to acknowledge it. He's kind of in denial and thinks Dean is doing pretty okay, or doesn't want to have to deal with how not-okay Dean is. Then they hunt something that they both KNOW has been throwing people off cliffs and he sees Dean follow it up onto the clifftop anyway and nearly get himself killed, and then he's like "holy shit I think he just tried to commit suicide by hunting." Dean, of course, doesn't cop to it.
I don't think the story is explicity Wincest, but iirc there are definitely implications. I think at one point John mentally compares how Dean is handling Sam leaving to how he behaved after Mary died.
Sound familiar to anyone? I've honestly been trying to find it for over a year, so any help is much appreciated.