SPN - Epic Envy by malcolm_stjay
Title: Epic Envy
Author: Malcolm St James
Rating: PG-13, I guess, for language.
Word Count: 300
Disclaimer: They’re not mine. And I’m sure as hell not making any money.
“I think you’re jealous,” Sam said.
“’M not,” Dean told him. He definitely wasn't pouting.
“Are too.”
“Nope.”
“I think you are. I think you’re totally jealous.”
“You’re just repeating yourself, nerd burglar.”
“Is it because mine’s so long?”
“I’m not jealous.”
“It’s a lot thicker than yours, too.”
“It isn’t.”
“It’s just all around more handsome, wouldn’t you say?”
“Whatever, dude. Clearly the truth isn’t going to penetrate your stupid delusions.”
“Cas agrees with me.”
“... He does not.”
“Does too. He said so.”
“Fuck off, you lying asshole.”
“Don’t hit me, Dean.”
“I’ll fucking hit you if I- Cas wouldn’t say that!”
“He did! Ow! Dean, you fucking asshat!”
Castiel surveyed the scene in front of him. The brothers Winchester were sprawled half-clothed on the floor, panting, still feebly slapping each other.
“What has happened here?” Castiel asked.
“Sam said that you said that his was longer and thicker and more beautiful than mine,” Dean said. Castiel studied him, and decided he looked hurt.
Castiel was... perplexed. “His what?”
“His hair.”
Castiel found himself at a temporary loss for words. “Dean, I did not say Sam’s hair was longer, thicker, or more beautiful than yours.”
Dean grinned and aimed a half-hearted kick at Sam’s head. “Lying’s a sin, Sammy-boy,” he said.
Castiel did not correct him. “Envy, vanity, and pride are also sins,” he added.
“Ha!” Sam said. The brothers glared at each other.
Castiel cleared his throat. “If the two of you will please put your clothes on,” he said, “I believe there is a demon hunt approximately seventy-four point three miles north-northwest of here.” He didn’t mention that while Sam’s hair was certainly longer, Castiel had a certain... fondness for Dean’s hair. Instead, he handed Dean his sock and turned his thoughts to more heavenly pursuits.
Author: Malcolm St James
Rating: PG-13, I guess, for language.
Word Count: 300
Disclaimer: They’re not mine. And I’m sure as hell not making any money.
“I think you’re jealous,” Sam said.
“’M not,” Dean told him. He definitely wasn't pouting.
“Are too.”
“Nope.”
“I think you are. I think you’re totally jealous.”
“You’re just repeating yourself, nerd burglar.”
“Is it because mine’s so long?”
“I’m not jealous.”
“It’s a lot thicker than yours, too.”
“It isn’t.”
“It’s just all around more handsome, wouldn’t you say?”
“Whatever, dude. Clearly the truth isn’t going to penetrate your stupid delusions.”
“Cas agrees with me.”
“... He does not.”
“Does too. He said so.”
“Fuck off, you lying asshole.”
“Don’t hit me, Dean.”
“I’ll fucking hit you if I- Cas wouldn’t say that!”
“He did! Ow! Dean, you fucking asshat!”
Castiel surveyed the scene in front of him. The brothers Winchester were sprawled half-clothed on the floor, panting, still feebly slapping each other.
“What has happened here?” Castiel asked.
“Sam said that you said that his was longer and thicker and more beautiful than mine,” Dean said. Castiel studied him, and decided he looked hurt.
Castiel was... perplexed. “His what?”
“His hair.”
Castiel found himself at a temporary loss for words. “Dean, I did not say Sam’s hair was longer, thicker, or more beautiful than yours.”
Dean grinned and aimed a half-hearted kick at Sam’s head. “Lying’s a sin, Sammy-boy,” he said.
Castiel did not correct him. “Envy, vanity, and pride are also sins,” he added.
“Ha!” Sam said. The brothers glared at each other.
Castiel cleared his throat. “If the two of you will please put your clothes on,” he said, “I believe there is a demon hunt approximately seventy-four point three miles north-northwest of here.” He didn’t mention that while Sam’s hair was certainly longer, Castiel had a certain... fondness for Dean’s hair. Instead, he handed Dean his sock and turned his thoughts to more heavenly pursuits.