Checking in...
SO I'VE BEEN A BIT MIA LATELY. I'VE BEEN HAVING A BIT OF A PROBLEM KEEPING A LID ON THE HELLHOUNDS, AS SOME OF YOU KNOW. THOSE LITTLE BASTARDS, THOUGH I LOVE THEM SO, ARE DAMN GOOD AT ESCAPING FROM HELL AND WREAKING HAVOC. WHICH IS ALL WELL AND GOOD, BUT THEY TEND TO GET DISTRACTED, GOING OFF TO HOOK UP WITH REGULAR DOGS (HEY, THEY GET BORED). THE RESULTS ARE OFTEN...MESSY, AND QUITE FRANKLY, I'M SICK OF CLEANING THAT SHIT UP.
SO I WAS DEALING WITH THAT, AND THEN I STARTED GETTING ALL OF THESE ANNOYING FUCKING PHONE CALLS FROM JO HARVELLE. I DON'T KNOW IF YOU ALL REMEMBER A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO WHEN SHE APPARENTLY SMOKED SOME OF CROWLEY'S BOSS WEED AND GOT IT IN HER HEAD THAT SHE WAS GOING TO KICK MY ASS.
FINALLY I GOT SICK OF DEALING WITH HER VOICEMAILS (AND WHOEVER GAVE HER MY PHONE NUMBER--GABE!--YEAH, THANKS FOR THAT), WHICH WERE ENDLESS TIRADES OF "DEMON BITCH, I'M GONNA KILL YOU, BLAH BLAH BLAH." SO I CALLED HER BACK AND TOLD HER TO MEET ME IN TIJUANA (THERE'S THIS BAR I LIKE DOWN THERE) AND WE'D SETTLE THIS SHIT ONCE AND FOR ALL.
SO WE MET UP OUTSIDE THE BAR
NOW JO AND I HAVE A BIT OF A HISTORY, AS I'M SURE YOU ALL KNOW
BUT I WAS MORE THAN WILLING TO LET BYGONES BE BYGONES IF SHE WOULD JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LEAVE ME ALONE. AFTER ALL, SHE'S ALIVE AGAIN, RIGHT? UNFORTUNATE AS THAT WAS.
BUT NO. SHE WANTED TO FIGHT. SO WE DID. WE WENT AT IT PRETTY HARD, WITH KNIVES AND GUNS AND THE WHOLE DAMN THING. WE FOUGHT PRETTY MUCH ALL NIGHT, AND BOTH CAME OUT OF IT PRETTY BEATEN UP. WE CALLED A TEMPORARY TRUCE TO SIT DOWN AND HAVE A BEER BEFORE WE GOT BACK TO IT, BUT SOME ASSHOLE CALLED THE COPS. NOW, I GOT AWAY OKAY, BUT JO GOT HAULED OFF TO THE SCARIEST WOMEN'S PRISON I HAVE EVER SEEN.
OF COURSE SHE FREAKED OUT. NOW, I'M NOT SURE WHY SHE DIDN'T CALL HER MOM, OR SAM & DEAN OR SOMEBODY ELSE WHO WOULD GIVE A SHIT. FOR WHATEVER REASON, SHE CALLED ME.
NOW I'M STILL NOT SURE WHAT QUITE POSSESSED (LOL) ME, BUT I DECIDED TO GO AND BAIL HER OUT. IF ANYTHING WE NEEDED TO FINISH OUR FIGHT. GDIT I DON'T LIKE TO LEAVE THINGS UNFINISHED, YOU KNOW?
ANYWAY WE GTFO OF THERE
AND WENT BACK OVER THE BORDER WHERE WE FIGURED WE'D BE SAFE FROM THE COPS. WE DECIDED TO CHECK INTO A MOTEL AND RELAX FOR A LITTLE WHILE BEFORE WE GOT BACK TO THE FIGHT. WE STARTED TALKING.
AND THE NEXT THING I KNEW JO WAS GIVING ME A TEQUILA. I FIGURED, WHAT THE HELL--IF SHE MAKES DRINKS HALF AS GOOD AS HER MOM, THIS IS GONNA BE FANTASTIC. I NEVER TURN DOWN A GOOD DRINK.
SO SUDDENLY WE'RE KINDA HANGING OUT, TALKING.
AND I KNEW IT WAS THE BOOZE TALKING, BUT I STARTED THINKING JO WAS ACTUALLY PRETTY COOL. I REALIZED THAT THIS WAS FUCKING RIDICULOUS, BUT BY THIS TIME I HAD HAD A LOT OF TEQUILA. JO SUGGESTED WE GO DOWN TO THE BAR, WHERE WE GOT COMPLETELY ANNIHILATED. I REMEMBER GETTING BACK INTO THE CAR, AND HAVING A PLAN, BUT I WAS FUZZY ON WHERE WE WERE GOING.
EVENTUALLY I REMEMBER GETTING TO ANOTHER HOTEL AND GOING TO BED. I WAS OUT COLD FOR A LONG TIME, TEN OR TWELVE HOURS, AND WHEN I WOKE UP I HAD THE WORST HANGOVER YET IN THIS MEATSUIT. I ROLLED OVER, AND WOKE UP TO THIS:
WELL, I THOUGHT. I CAN DEAL WITH THAT.
UNTIL I GOT ALL THE WAY AWAKE AND LOOKED DOWN.
NATURALLY WE BOTH FREAKED OUT. WE WERE IN VEGAS, OF COURSE, AND AFTER A BUNCH OF SCREAMING AND SLAPPING EACH OTHER AROUND THAT WAS KIND OF HOT AND ENDED WITH US BACK IN BED FOR AWHILE, WE GOT DRESSED AND WENT TO A COURTHOUSE TO FIGURE OUT IF THIS SHIT WAS LEGALLY BINDING. TURNED OUT, IT WAS.
SO...UM, I'M MARRIED. TO JO HARVELLE.
AND THE THING IS, UH. WELL. I KIND OF LOVE HER
FUCK.
SO I WAS DEALING WITH THAT, AND THEN I STARTED GETTING ALL OF THESE ANNOYING FUCKING PHONE CALLS FROM JO HARVELLE. I DON'T KNOW IF YOU ALL REMEMBER A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO WHEN SHE APPARENTLY SMOKED SOME OF CROWLEY'S BOSS WEED AND GOT IT IN HER HEAD THAT SHE WAS GOING TO KICK MY ASS.
FINALLY I GOT SICK OF DEALING WITH HER VOICEMAILS (AND WHOEVER GAVE HER MY PHONE NUMBER--GABE!--YEAH, THANKS FOR THAT), WHICH WERE ENDLESS TIRADES OF "DEMON BITCH, I'M GONNA KILL YOU, BLAH BLAH BLAH." SO I CALLED HER BACK AND TOLD HER TO MEET ME IN TIJUANA (THERE'S THIS BAR I LIKE DOWN THERE) AND WE'D SETTLE THIS SHIT ONCE AND FOR ALL.
SO WE MET UP OUTSIDE THE BAR
NOW JO AND I HAVE A BIT OF A HISTORY, AS I'M SURE YOU ALL KNOW
BUT I WAS MORE THAN WILLING TO LET BYGONES BE BYGONES IF SHE WOULD JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LEAVE ME ALONE. AFTER ALL, SHE'S ALIVE AGAIN, RIGHT? UNFORTUNATE AS THAT WAS.
BUT NO. SHE WANTED TO FIGHT. SO WE DID. WE WENT AT IT PRETTY HARD, WITH KNIVES AND GUNS AND THE WHOLE DAMN THING. WE FOUGHT PRETTY MUCH ALL NIGHT, AND BOTH CAME OUT OF IT PRETTY BEATEN UP. WE CALLED A TEMPORARY TRUCE TO SIT DOWN AND HAVE A BEER BEFORE WE GOT BACK TO IT, BUT SOME ASSHOLE CALLED THE COPS. NOW, I GOT AWAY OKAY, BUT JO GOT HAULED OFF TO THE SCARIEST WOMEN'S PRISON I HAVE EVER SEEN.
OF COURSE SHE FREAKED OUT. NOW, I'M NOT SURE WHY SHE DIDN'T CALL HER MOM, OR SAM & DEAN OR SOMEBODY ELSE WHO WOULD GIVE A SHIT. FOR WHATEVER REASON, SHE CALLED ME.
NOW I'M STILL NOT SURE WHAT QUITE POSSESSED (LOL) ME, BUT I DECIDED TO GO AND BAIL HER OUT. IF ANYTHING WE NEEDED TO FINISH OUR FIGHT. GDIT I DON'T LIKE TO LEAVE THINGS UNFINISHED, YOU KNOW?
ANYWAY WE GTFO OF THERE
AND WENT BACK OVER THE BORDER WHERE WE FIGURED WE'D BE SAFE FROM THE COPS. WE DECIDED TO CHECK INTO A MOTEL AND RELAX FOR A LITTLE WHILE BEFORE WE GOT BACK TO THE FIGHT. WE STARTED TALKING.
AND THE NEXT THING I KNEW JO WAS GIVING ME A TEQUILA. I FIGURED, WHAT THE HELL--IF SHE MAKES DRINKS HALF AS GOOD AS HER MOM, THIS IS GONNA BE FANTASTIC. I NEVER TURN DOWN A GOOD DRINK.
SO SUDDENLY WE'RE KINDA HANGING OUT, TALKING.
AND I KNEW IT WAS THE BOOZE TALKING, BUT I STARTED THINKING JO WAS ACTUALLY PRETTY COOL. I REALIZED THAT THIS WAS FUCKING RIDICULOUS, BUT BY THIS TIME I HAD HAD A LOT OF TEQUILA. JO SUGGESTED WE GO DOWN TO THE BAR, WHERE WE GOT COMPLETELY ANNIHILATED. I REMEMBER GETTING BACK INTO THE CAR, AND HAVING A PLAN, BUT I WAS FUZZY ON WHERE WE WERE GOING.
EVENTUALLY I REMEMBER GETTING TO ANOTHER HOTEL AND GOING TO BED. I WAS OUT COLD FOR A LONG TIME, TEN OR TWELVE HOURS, AND WHEN I WOKE UP I HAD THE WORST HANGOVER YET IN THIS MEATSUIT. I ROLLED OVER, AND WOKE UP TO THIS:
WELL, I THOUGHT. I CAN DEAL WITH THAT.
UNTIL I GOT ALL THE WAY AWAKE AND LOOKED DOWN.
NATURALLY WE BOTH FREAKED OUT. WE WERE IN VEGAS, OF COURSE, AND AFTER A BUNCH OF SCREAMING AND SLAPPING EACH OTHER AROUND THAT WAS KIND OF HOT AND ENDED WITH US BACK IN BED FOR AWHILE, WE GOT DRESSED AND WENT TO A COURTHOUSE TO FIGURE OUT IF THIS SHIT WAS LEGALLY BINDING. TURNED OUT, IT WAS.
SO...UM, I'M MARRIED. TO JO HARVELLE.
AND THE THING IS, UH. WELL. I KIND OF LOVE HER
FUCK.