RECAP!
Emo Sam continued to be emo because Jess left. He decided to go hunting because he was already overflowing the Mississippi River. Okay, did I see him crying? No… but this is Sam we’re talking about. The Mississippi River is fine, btw. Ellen didn’t touch Sir’s penis. (Just asking, didn’t Mary look extra pretty today?)
Andy left the awesome trip he was on with Ed and myself (and later Ava) to go on a date with Death. I KNOW RIGHT? WEIRD AS FUCK! He caught her scent and was practically humping dry air. Okay, maybe not. They got stuck on a ride and Death nearly took out the entire city. *Sighs* Ava being Ava (I love your crazy, btw) went all dramatic about it in the way only she can. Ava is jealous as shit and nearly had a stroke over the date. Make up your mind, love. Pick Andy or let that IT go! Death lied about Harry Potter being fake because we ALL know that shit is legit! How dare she! Sir and Ellen did not get master the art of suck and blow.
Pesti turned into a girl because we wanted to go have a spa day with Tessa and Maggie. Tessa was miserable the whole time because she really needs a hug or maybe a huge dick. OMG NO ONE CAN TAKE A JOKE ANYONE! Want me to slap myself now or later? Sam was emo some more. Pesti turned emo because I guess Sam likes to spread sadness around. OMG I’M KIDDING! Sir and Ellen didn't knock boots. Pesti and Michael… I don’t even know what happened there. Patrick talked about how bad he wanted to fuck Pesti because he wants everything that belongs to me.
Ellen came back after running away with Sir. WOW, learn how to take a joke! She opened the bar because what this place is more liquor to add to the crazy. Sam showed up and guess what? He was sad. AGAIN. Ava trying to take Sam’s emo crown (Yes, I still love your crazy ass) started to drink her feelings away until we talked and she came to visit Ed, Andy and myself. Luci got Ellen some flowers. Me thinks he wants to tap that… better watch out Sir. Am I kidding this time? Who knows! Luci talked his feelings out and then Gabe showed up. *Sighs* Why must we fight? (Anna and Lilith showed up and tried to stop the fighting.) Oh, yeah! We fight to have angry makeup sex. *Gags* Seriously, dad? It was like watching (but I wasn’t, jsyk) a rocking chair beat again the side of a house during a tornado. Chuck came to the bar and yes, Becky is still missing. Poor guy! Sir and Ellen didn’t have sex, js. They talked about stuff but didn’t say they were in love with each other. He looked into her eyes and now I’m waiting to hear if she heard the bells. He helped her out and she kissed him on the cheek. Are you kidding me? Are you serious with this crap? I can’t deal with the non-touching of these two. What happened to making out like teenagers? Hello! I think Ellen is sexually frustrated over John because she got into a fight with Michael. The fight was about Adam and how young he is. Btw, I’m on Michael’s side. He’s getting a lot of shit lately and I don’t think it’s fair. Okay, where is the Siren? Am I under his spell? (ooc: Gabe and Luci sex here. DEAL WITH IT.)
Andy, Ed, Ava and myself came back from the road trip. Long story short, no one remembers a damn thing! We got drunk, danced, Ed tried to have sex with… lol forget it, Ava was naked and I was wasted. I ALMOST FORGOT! WE LOST ANDY… OOPS. Maggie showed up. Moving on. Sir and I talked and made plans for the future… Not in a gay way, just in a “hey mate” kind of way. Ava came down for her high and freaked the fuck out!! I calmed her down and stole her phone. Nope, still not getting it back lol. Chuck ran away from me and so goes the story of my life. Anna was great and let me take a shower at her place. I think I’ll keep the underwear now… thanks. We talked about Gabe and stuff. Was it awkward? UM, ARE GABE AND LUCI HAVING SEX RIGHT NOW? YES! I kid! I don’t know that for sure. Yes, it was awkward. She agreed to talk to my mom. Ellen is still sexually frustrated and was all mean to me about losing Andy, like it was my fault or something. Michael showed up and was actually nice to me. Don’t you look foolish for not liking me in the past? Gabe was fooled by the siren. We talked. What is another word for awkward? Whatever that word is that’s how bad it was. Get to the good stuff? Okay, fine! He’s my dad and I’m his son. Ed finally woke up and was upset that he couldn’t remember anything *cough* having sex with Andy *cough*. We talked a little about some weird stuff and I bet you know what I’m going to say next! IT WAS AWKWARD! Common theme all over the place! Ellen and Sir didn’t touch each other in a sexual fashion. Pesti welcomed us all back. The Siren showed up and laughed out loud at my life. (ooc: Pesti and Harry sex here. SHUT. UP)
Jess came back. She wrote a letter, which no one was supposed to read except for Sam. So, yeah everybody read it. She went to see her parents and love was all over the place! I’m happy for her. Her parents seem pretty badass. Sam cried another river. I think he took Timberlake’s song too literally. Sam and Jess had sex. Did they use a condom? Will Mary soon have another grandchild? Ask them. Lilith and Jess made out or had sex. I didn’t really stick around to watch. Jess talked about her feelings and I think she has baby bieber fever now. Still no sexy time for Ellen and Sir (ooc: Sam and Jess sex here. DON'T JUDGE ME OMG)
Bobby came back different. And by different… I mean gay. He is gayer than San Francisco during pride week. Everybody was either shocked or they laughed at him. Michael was supportive because he just can’t help himself. Sam acted like a dildo after being nice to Michael. So much talk about Michael’s hair, so little time. I’m pretty sure Luci and Gabe went at it again. They keep downloading each other’s software *shaking my head like yeah~*. Do you know who wasn’t doing the nasty, hide the salami, bone, get some, get down, rock, ball, ride, rut, shag, bonk, boink, makin' bacon, bump uglies, horizontal hokey pokey, stir the macaroni, puttin' on the ritz, hide the salami, ride the baloney pony, dork, rail, hit-in, horizontal mambo, ride the horsey, loading the cargo, sink the ship, plant your tree, play ball, foo-foo, rocking the boat, the old in-and-out, hit the bull's-eye? Ellen and Sir. Luci acted like himself with Bobby and Bobby said somebody about Pesti being a “professional hottie.” War sent a text message from hell. Miss you much, boo. Bobby ignored me. It’s fine. It’s cool. I’m used to it. Btw, that scarf makes your head look fat >:|
Chuck went to go find Becky because she is still missing. Was this a very expensive booty call or something else? Is she really missing? Want to know my opinion? No, well I’m going to give it to you anyway! I think Becky ran into Ruby and now they’re all up in each other’s coin slot. Am I wrong? Maybe. Do I care? LOL NO. My thought process >>> what is really happening. It could be worse, but whatever do you mean? Have you ever seen the movie WOLF CREEK? Educate yourself:
Click to viewIt’s based on a true story, jsyk!
Everybody was supportive because who really wants to piss off Chuck? Maggie and what’s his name offered to watch the kids… let’s all laugh together. They were more scared than Lindsay Lohan taking a drug test. Ellen wasn’t on all fours for John.
Sam wrote a book and now it's missing or stolen. Someone better call detective Munch and Tutuola. Wait, no one was touched? Ellen did not tickle John’s pickle. Um, better call someone else then. The Siren talked to is maybe stalking Tessa from hell. My best educated guess says it only took 5.3 seconds for her panties to come off. I think we all know what she was doing with her handheld shower nozzle. Funny haha, okay! I don’t know for sure. I wasn’t there. I’m just guessing. The Siren and Ed talked… and yes, Ed jizzed in his pants. Then Jess talked to the Siren and *sighs* I guess you all know where I’m going with this. Gabe talked to the Siren also… *throws his hands up* I’m done. So… where is Sam’s book? I think he needs to check to see if it’s hiding in his hair, just trying to help. Maybe Sam should just ask Sera. Uriel rolled into town on his pink little pony. Normally I would say he needs a hug, but I love his angry bitch vibe. Bobby told Sam to cut his hair. I might actually start liking the new Bobby. Jess “STAND BY YOUR MAN” Winchester made it known that she likes Sam’s hair.
Death is like your crazy great-aunt Myrtle… except without the mustache. She killed all the singing children at Disneyland. The happiest place is no more. Death and Ava didn’t make out… but Ava did die. Death, love, when the song says fly to me to the moon… I’m pretty sure it didn’t mean like that. It’s okay, though! We live and we learn and then we go get people from limbo. The Siren is still trying pretty hard to get out of hell because I heard he has a list. Do I know what this means? Yes. Am I sharing my information? Not a chance. Oh, look! He’s out of hell now. Yay? Ellen was not screaming John’s name in ecstasy. Everybody was pretty pissed off and/or upset over what Death did.
Adam went to the doctor and he found out he isn't pregnant. Sir and Ellen were not playing twister naked. Totally kidding, btw. I guess it's some protective spell/charm against angels. Who done it? Adam is pretty clueless as is everybody else.
Maggie is engaged again. Maybe this time it will stick. Ellen and Sir haven't been to a rainbow party together.
Tessa is dead AKA JESUS WEPT. Her mother killed her. The award for shittiest mother now goes to Death. Ed's mother will be pleased to hear it! Sir and Ellen weren't kissing in the back of the Impala. Everybody was upset over Tessa's death because it's Tessa, duh! Everybody loves Tessa... except for Michael. Tessa got down and dirty with Jesus. Virgin Mary, she is not. Death also killed her brother, Pesti. Way to go, Death. Keep reminding people how truly amazing you really are. Once Pesti is out of limbo, he will sleeping on the couch! And I won't be helping Death out ever again!
(OOC: PERSONAL JOURNAL:) Andy isn't dead... I just think he's a little crazy right now.
Luci continues to prove how awesome he is! He went down to Limbo to get Pesti out. Thank you, btw<3 Now everybody is going to get drunk because nothing says TREEHOUSE like being a drunk mess. OMG I nearly forgot! Ava, my love, is out of Limbo also! I'm sorry for being an ass last night. John didn't poke Ellen with his disco stick. I think Sam and Luci are having some sort of lovers spat. I don't know! Someone better call the paparazzi because I can't figure this out. Ellen misses her boyfriend because he's never around.
IS~ YOU MAD OVER THE RECAP?
THE LINE STARTS HERE, TWO LINES OF TEN. PLEASE AND THANK YOU. I WANT TO KEEP THE HAIR PULLING, BITCHING AND HATE ORGANIZED.
(OOC: Btw, this is me rn
What is this? I don’t know. I think I did it wrong :\)