The SWSAO Newsletter: Issue 18
Sam Winchester's Shirtlessness : Auspicious Oracle!
The Hellaciously Hot (and vaguely spoilery) Summer Edition!
Fellow Oglers, we've received our first season 8 spoilers!
The prophets spoke thusly
The passages of the prophecy I am most interested in read as follows:
The "Supernatural" powers that be are currently casting Amelia -- Sam's first recurring love interest since Ruby died in Season 4.
Amelia is a doctor in her late 20s to early 30s, and when we first meet her, she's overwhelmed by a devastating tragedy.
She'll appear in the third episode of the season...the episode...will see Sam investigating grisly murders that seem to be related to the Occult...this case also involves a stripper.
I have meditated on these words, and now share with you my interpretation:
We all know what the devastating tragedy is, and so does Amelia: the cruel, unforgivable way that season 7 ended...with not a single shirtless-Sam scene.
Amelia knows this cannot go on! For the sake of the world, she uses her doctorly powers to remove the excess fabric! Doctors have been known to help Sam with this from time to time:
Thus freed from the clothing that disrupted the space-time continuum by denying the world shirtless-Sam, the gate to Purgatory reopens to return Dean! The gate is kind enough to drop Dean off at the motel room Sam is staying at, where he is engaged in his post-coitus activities:
Then Dean's all- "What have you been up to Sam? I fought off monsters all summer, except this time they were in the afterlife! It sucked because I couldn't kill them, luckily I had my badass new jacket which is impermeable to afterlife-monster bites and scratches!"
Then Sam's all:
"I was...investigating...some grisly murders...involving strippers!"
(push-up induced pauses)
And then Dean drags Sam out of the room to continue the investigation. They go to the strip club, which is the best strip club ever. I hear there's a documentary out about it now!
Their investigation goes something like this:
and then they interview this guy, because...reasons
...and also, he gives off werewolf vibes like nobody's business. Dean goes to conduct a follow up interview with the werewolf, and Sam goes back to his doctor friend who has saved us all from further tragedy by disposing of all of Sam's shirts!
So rest assured, Season 8 will NOT disappoint!
"But intrepid SWSAO reporter!" you may say, "How can you be sure! We were denied shirtless Sam for so long!"
I know, my friends, I know, HOWEVER! The third episode of seasons past has been most fortuitous! Let me refresh your memory!
5x03, "Free to Be Shirtless" (which OPENS with shirtless Sam!)
and of course, 6x03 "The Shirtless Man"
Come on, Jeremy it was YOU who wrote "Free to Be Shirtless" - I know you will do it again! : D
Have a great summer everybody, and stay cool!
That's all for this edition! Please let me know if you'd like to be a contributor to our worthy and important cause! If you have any further Sam Winchester shirt related topics that require investigation please don't hesitate to bring them to my attention!
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