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Caustic Recaps About Plastic Television
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Plastic Winchester Theatre: Episode Twenty (click for episode)
No previouslies on this show which doesn’t assume its audience all have ADD or memory problems as a result of the Plastic!Winchester Drinking Game or from the bucket bongs they’re choofing or. Possibly overestimating us, but it makes a nice change.
We start with a bit of country karaoke from plastic!John and it’s pretty obvious he makes his money through credit card scams or back alley blow jobs coz he’s no American Idol. But hey he’s plastic!John Winchester - and he makes Johnny Cash look about as tough as Elmo. (Tickle Me Johnny Cash - that would make a good present)
Suddenly the phone rings and it’s plastic!Dean. As arranged months ago at a meeting of network executives planning sweeps week in Ep 19 the boys are hooking up with their Dad to spend some quality family time hunting. Also plastic!John has been a bit concerned about the especially close relationship between his really really ridiculously good-looking plastic!sons.
They’re off to meet Margie who is Caleb’s wife cousin by marriage. As plastic!John says -she’s family, a nice mirroring of last weeks evil family is evil family line.
The plastic!Ws all meet up as Plastic!John interrupts a staring contestbetween the boys. That plastic!Sam can stare good. I reckon he’d even hold his own (not like that!) against that other younger brother from popsiclestick!Prison Break. You know the one from the show where they hug all the time J
Anyhoo Margie - who from the look of her fridge ain’t on no South Beach Diet. - has a mauled hand caused by her pet hellhound who went feral on her.
Next scene opens with John in his motel room and the décor de jour is jaunty seaside with a to-die-for bedspread decorated with crayfish or prawns or lobster or yabbies or crawdaddies or whatever those things that are yummy with melted butter.
Plastic!John gets comfortable and the combination of his designer stubble and his shiny secksay chest and plastic!abs would make my ovaries espolde if I weren’t keeping them in a shoebox along with my uterus. Also, do you think the Winchesters’ get a group discount on waxing - coz this family is much with the denuding of body hair. He settles in for some vinyl!Veronica Mars (hey didn’t anteka have a guest spot on v!VM last season?) when he hears thumping from the boys’ room.
Dirty doubting Daddy springs into action only to find his plastic!offspring fully clothed and innocently paying soccer. Innocently? Well plastic!Dean does score. (hello gutter have you met my mind?)
Paranoid plastic!Papa has just relaxed again when happy cries send him racing to find the boys innocently playing poke. Innocently? Dean gets to say Sammy your ass is mine! Plastic!John’s mind? Not put at ease.
Next the boys are suspiciously quiet so plastic! John decides to split them up. Plastic!Dean’s careful list of instructs to John about how to put Sammy to bed is so sweet; we see the nurturing role dean ahs taken on with his little plastic!brother over the years. Plastic!Dean really is an awesome plastic!big brother. *sniffle*
The following day they’re off to the park. For some reason this hunt requires the boys on roller blades - complete with Sammy in his orange safety helmet!
While the boys are scouting around for Mr Tinkerbean the hellhound, some old foes of plastic!John’s appear threatening to make him take a dirt nap with baby jesus (a shout out to rubber!Whedon’s tragically shortlived series Gnat)
Plastic!John nearly wastes a pellet from the purple plastic!colt on mini!nija and micro!robotman but he ends up vanquishing them with his Foot of Doom. Yes, you read that right - Foot of Doom. I may have peed my pants a little at that line. Plastic!John celebrates with some more country classic karaoke.
Having located the hellhound the boys return, with plastic!Dean giving plastic!Sam a piggyback (in rollerblades and safety helmet). Plastic!John’s hysterical reaction does it - I totally lose bladder control. There goes another ergonomic chair - damn you PWT *shakes fist*
The Plastic!Ws head off on the hunt with the entrendres coming in doubles and triples. They come face to face with the cutest cursed canine since Cujo just as he is chowing down on a bimbo jogger.
The Plastic!family take aim and Rut Oh! says Mr Tinkerbean. Hasta la vista say the Plastic!Ws and we get a scene of gory excess that has become the trademark of resident PWT Special FX wiz reese_a_piece_a.
The plastic!bimbo repays plastic!John with cash and a lap dance. He turns into a plastic!manwhore and they disappear into the sunset, as do the piggybackingplastic!boys.
*rock music plays*