I am a "surprise guest" at my Grandma's 70th birthday. Such is my family.
We received an invitation to my Grandma's 70th birthday today from my dad's big sister Helen. She has written that we are "surprise guests". Without getting too far into the politics of my extended family, suffice to say that she is not my favourite aunt. She has not phoned my dad, let alone the rest of us, in over 20 years. Dad still makes an effort to phone her from time to time despite her attitude that we don't exist. My grandparents are much the same, but at least Grandma has phoned a few times even if she usually does forget my dad's birthday.
Rhys and I decided to go to Sydney next week to see some other family members, and mum and dad decided to tag along since dad had found out (probably through one of his other sisters or brothers) that Grandmas was having a big party for her 70th. I suppose it must have gotten back to the less desirable elements of my extended family that we would be around that weekend, thus the after-thought of an invitation. It's like she's gone "oh shit, they're coming anyway, so we better pretend we want them here".
To make matters worse, at the bottom of the 'invitation' is a request to bring along a 'special memory and/or photograph' for some wanky birthday box or some such thing. The thing is, I don't have any positive memories of my grandma. She wasn't here at any of the important times of my life. She has never been present for a birthday, christmas, easter, anything. Ok, maybe it's a bit much to expect that she would be here all the time when she lives on the other side of the country, but she could have phoned! Rhys and I were never even invited to the annual trips where she and Grandpa used to take all the grandkids out to some farmstay place. Granted, my cousins hated going, and mum and dad probably wouldn't have sent us over there every year, but it would have been nice to know that they at least considered us family.
I have one or two photos where I'm standing with my grandparents, posing and miserable about it because they're such horrible people but mum and dad had insisted on taking a photo because it was such a rare event to actually have any contact with them. These aren't exactly what I would call 'special memories'. What the fuck am I supposed to bring? I know she's not proud of me. When dad told her that I was going to study engineering, her reply was "can women do that?". She has never asked to speak to me before when dad has called her. In the annual newsletter that they do where they give updates on what all the kids and grandkids are up to, Rhys and I often aren't mentioned, and the couple of times we have been mentioned they've gotten the facts completely wrong.
I could overlook all of this if it weren't for her ignoring and/or forgetting my dad. He's done nothing to deserve the way she treats him, and as much as he would never admit it I know that it hurts him. She doesn't deserve him.
*deep breath*
I have a lot of negativity towards certain parts of my family...
/rant
Rhys and I decided to go to Sydney next week to see some other family members, and mum and dad decided to tag along since dad had found out (probably through one of his other sisters or brothers) that Grandmas was having a big party for her 70th. I suppose it must have gotten back to the less desirable elements of my extended family that we would be around that weekend, thus the after-thought of an invitation. It's like she's gone "oh shit, they're coming anyway, so we better pretend we want them here".
To make matters worse, at the bottom of the 'invitation' is a request to bring along a 'special memory and/or photograph' for some wanky birthday box or some such thing. The thing is, I don't have any positive memories of my grandma. She wasn't here at any of the important times of my life. She has never been present for a birthday, christmas, easter, anything. Ok, maybe it's a bit much to expect that she would be here all the time when she lives on the other side of the country, but she could have phoned! Rhys and I were never even invited to the annual trips where she and Grandpa used to take all the grandkids out to some farmstay place. Granted, my cousins hated going, and mum and dad probably wouldn't have sent us over there every year, but it would have been nice to know that they at least considered us family.
I have one or two photos where I'm standing with my grandparents, posing and miserable about it because they're such horrible people but mum and dad had insisted on taking a photo because it was such a rare event to actually have any contact with them. These aren't exactly what I would call 'special memories'. What the fuck am I supposed to bring? I know she's not proud of me. When dad told her that I was going to study engineering, her reply was "can women do that?". She has never asked to speak to me before when dad has called her. In the annual newsletter that they do where they give updates on what all the kids and grandkids are up to, Rhys and I often aren't mentioned, and the couple of times we have been mentioned they've gotten the facts completely wrong.
I could overlook all of this if it weren't for her ignoring and/or forgetting my dad. He's done nothing to deserve the way she treats him, and as much as he would never admit it I know that it hurts him. She doesn't deserve him.
*deep breath*
I have a lot of negativity towards certain parts of my family...
/rant