FIC: Jack's Confinement. PG-13. Crack. Implied Sam/Jack.
Jack's Confinement. PG-13. Implied Sam/Jack. MPreg. Crack. Sequel to The one where of course aliens make them do it. And Daniel is a big perv
Happy Valentine's Day, everyone. :)
Congratulating the new parents
When Janet finally let Teal'c and Daniel into the infirmary, Daniel couldn't help himself. "Jack, you're glowing."
Jack sat on an exam bed in a hospital gown that did little to hide the already obvious baby bump. His hand rested on it, and he rubbed it, apparently without even realizing it, in small, gentle circles. Interesting, Daniel thought. Maybe that really is a biological -
Jack's not-remotely-gentle voice cut off Daniel's train of thought abruptly. "Daniel? Shut up before I kill you. I can blame it on the hormones, you know."
Telling the family.
"Oh my god. We've only been back for two hours. How does everyone know?" Sam scrolled through the list of congratulatory e-cards in her inbox with growing horror. She'd escaped the infirmary and Jack's glowering only to become the object of corridor whispers, giggles and the occasional congratulatory wolf-whistle.
And now this. She opened one of the emails: "Way to go, Major! We always knew you wore the pants on SG-1."
Daniel and Teal'c exchanged glances. "No idea, Sam." "I cannot imagine how the news could have escaped, Major Carter."
Sam closed out of her email and closed her eyes. "That's good, because by now the Colonel knows that everyone knows, and I imagine he'll be even less pleased."
When she opened her eyes, Daniel and Teal'c were gone.
The cravings.
Sam's phone rang at three in the morning. For the third time that week. "Carter, you did this to me! Go buy me a Big Mac!"
The preparations.
"Jack? You okay? You look a little pale."
Jack held up a bag from a local maternity shop. "Two words, Daniel. Breast pump."
The baby shower.
It was the little Avalanche jersey that got him.
"Are you crying, Jack?"
"I have something in my eye."
"Sure Jack." Daniel patted him on the shoulder, squeaking loudly when Jack grabbed his wrist in a painful grip.
"Daniel, you're gonna end up with something in your eye - my fork. Now shut the fuck up and hand me those booties."
The birth plan
Daniel flipped through a copy of Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth that he'd found on Jack's coffee table. "So how exactly is this going to happen?"
"How's what going to happen, Daniel?"
"You know," Daniel flapped his free hand in a shooing motion. "The, well, exit strategy?"
He found himself standing on Jack's porch a few second later, still holding the book, the door slamming shut behind him.
The joyous day
SG-1 stood huddled around Jack's bed, gazing in awe at the tiny miracle in Jack's arms.
Sam, visibly full of pride (and relief that she wasn't the one in the bed), said, "His name is George Jacob."
She shot a deadly glare Daniel's direction when he started humming "John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt" under his breath.
"He is an excellent specimen of the human species, O'Neill and Major Carter," Teal'c said soothingly, "and now doubt will grow up to be a fine warrior. You should be pleased."
"Yeah, cute." Daniel tugged a corner of blanket away from the baby to get a better look. "Is it just me, or does he look a little like Thor?"
Happy Valentine's Day, everyone. :)
Congratulating the new parents
When Janet finally let Teal'c and Daniel into the infirmary, Daniel couldn't help himself. "Jack, you're glowing."
Jack sat on an exam bed in a hospital gown that did little to hide the already obvious baby bump. His hand rested on it, and he rubbed it, apparently without even realizing it, in small, gentle circles. Interesting, Daniel thought. Maybe that really is a biological -
Jack's not-remotely-gentle voice cut off Daniel's train of thought abruptly. "Daniel? Shut up before I kill you. I can blame it on the hormones, you know."
Telling the family.
"Oh my god. We've only been back for two hours. How does everyone know?" Sam scrolled through the list of congratulatory e-cards in her inbox with growing horror. She'd escaped the infirmary and Jack's glowering only to become the object of corridor whispers, giggles and the occasional congratulatory wolf-whistle.
And now this. She opened one of the emails: "Way to go, Major! We always knew you wore the pants on SG-1."
Daniel and Teal'c exchanged glances. "No idea, Sam." "I cannot imagine how the news could have escaped, Major Carter."
Sam closed out of her email and closed her eyes. "That's good, because by now the Colonel knows that everyone knows, and I imagine he'll be even less pleased."
When she opened her eyes, Daniel and Teal'c were gone.
The cravings.
Sam's phone rang at three in the morning. For the third time that week. "Carter, you did this to me! Go buy me a Big Mac!"
The preparations.
"Jack? You okay? You look a little pale."
Jack held up a bag from a local maternity shop. "Two words, Daniel. Breast pump."
The baby shower.
It was the little Avalanche jersey that got him.
"Are you crying, Jack?"
"I have something in my eye."
"Sure Jack." Daniel patted him on the shoulder, squeaking loudly when Jack grabbed his wrist in a painful grip.
"Daniel, you're gonna end up with something in your eye - my fork. Now shut the fuck up and hand me those booties."
The birth plan
Daniel flipped through a copy of Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth that he'd found on Jack's coffee table. "So how exactly is this going to happen?"
"How's what going to happen, Daniel?"
"You know," Daniel flapped his free hand in a shooing motion. "The, well, exit strategy?"
He found himself standing on Jack's porch a few second later, still holding the book, the door slamming shut behind him.
The joyous day
SG-1 stood huddled around Jack's bed, gazing in awe at the tiny miracle in Jack's arms.
Sam, visibly full of pride (and relief that she wasn't the one in the bed), said, "His name is George Jacob."
She shot a deadly glare Daniel's direction when he started humming "John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt" under his breath.
"He is an excellent specimen of the human species, O'Neill and Major Carter," Teal'c said soothingly, "and now doubt will grow up to be a fine warrior. You should be pleased."
"Yeah, cute." Daniel tugged a corner of blanket away from the baby to get a better look. "Is it just me, or does he look a little like Thor?"