Random ficlet.
The dwinn is proof-reading the penultimate version of the OMG MA PROJECT, so I am taking a break with random ridiculous fic.
Jack/Daniel.
"Honesty is the Best Policy"
"Jack?"
Scrunched under the bathroom sink, Jack glared at the stripped pipe fitting and debated his success in just whacking on the pipe with a wrench until the clog vanished.
"Jaaack."
Oh, he knew that tone. If he ignored it, it would get increasingly more insistent until the only way to escape would be to whack himself into unconsciousness with the wrench. Grunting and squirming, he peered out from under the vanity. "What?"
Daniel, his tie half-tied and suit jacket slung over one arm, stood in the bathroom doorway, twisting around to look behind him. "Do these pants make me look fat?"
Jack blinked up at him. "What?"
"Sam said I looked puffy the other day." Daniel patted at his ass, shifting to look at the other side, then back again.
"Puffy?"
"Yeah." Daniel sidled in past Jack's legs and hung his jacket over the towel bar. "Like I was retaining water or something. Um..." He turned around, and they shuffled position until Daniel stood straddled over Jack, giving Jack an excellent view of his crotch.
Calculating just how much time Daniel would need to get to the mountain for his meeting, Jack resigned himself to just the view. "Too bad I can't call Carter and tell her to stop making my... whatever you are neurotic."
Daniel made a face at the mirror and retied his tie. "Whatever I am?"
"Boyfriend, bed-warmer, paramour, fuck-buddy…"
"Right." Daniel picked up his jacket and shrugged into it, nudging Jack with his foot. "I am not neurotic."
"Uh huh." That got him a harder nudge as Daniel stepped over him to leave, hard enough that Jack was pretty sure he'd have a bruise on his thigh. Neurotic and petty little bastard.
"Hey Daniel?"
Pausing in the doorway, Daniel glanced back. "Yes?"
"The pants make you look fat."
Jack/Daniel.
"Honesty is the Best Policy"
"Jack?"
Scrunched under the bathroom sink, Jack glared at the stripped pipe fitting and debated his success in just whacking on the pipe with a wrench until the clog vanished.
"Jaaack."
Oh, he knew that tone. If he ignored it, it would get increasingly more insistent until the only way to escape would be to whack himself into unconsciousness with the wrench. Grunting and squirming, he peered out from under the vanity. "What?"
Daniel, his tie half-tied and suit jacket slung over one arm, stood in the bathroom doorway, twisting around to look behind him. "Do these pants make me look fat?"
Jack blinked up at him. "What?"
"Sam said I looked puffy the other day." Daniel patted at his ass, shifting to look at the other side, then back again.
"Puffy?"
"Yeah." Daniel sidled in past Jack's legs and hung his jacket over the towel bar. "Like I was retaining water or something. Um..." He turned around, and they shuffled position until Daniel stood straddled over Jack, giving Jack an excellent view of his crotch.
Calculating just how much time Daniel would need to get to the mountain for his meeting, Jack resigned himself to just the view. "Too bad I can't call Carter and tell her to stop making my... whatever you are neurotic."
Daniel made a face at the mirror and retied his tie. "Whatever I am?"
"Boyfriend, bed-warmer, paramour, fuck-buddy…"
"Right." Daniel picked up his jacket and shrugged into it, nudging Jack with his foot. "I am not neurotic."
"Uh huh." That got him a harder nudge as Daniel stepped over him to leave, hard enough that Jack was pretty sure he'd have a bruise on his thigh. Neurotic and petty little bastard.
"Hey Daniel?"
Pausing in the doorway, Daniel glanced back. "Yes?"
"The pants make you look fat."