(no subject)
Not getting my hopes up...
So now Ali is back in my life and tables have turned. I am not getting my hopes up because it is like I don't care anymore. Since "hanging out" with Kris I got a feeling of what it is that I want. I had forgotten for a while what it takes to make me happy. Now I am refreshed and I won't forget it. The person I want is unhappily married and he is going to stick it out which I madly respect. He said the only way to give it a chance a real fighting chance is not to be tempted by me and he can't stand to have me as a friend because he still loves me, cares about me, and wants me. It has been a real battle and I still fighting inside of me but I verbally told him that I understand and that I will do as he requests.
Ali has been calling more often than usual lately to hang out. It was weird. He called and asked if I had eaten on FRiday and I hadn't. I thought it was gonna be one of those things were a bunch of people were going to be there. IT was just me and him. As if that wasn't odd enough, it felt like a date, and later he tried to feel up on me and kiss me when we were at the house. I think he was shocked when I said No. I think that was the first time he realized that I don't like him like that. Anyways...
I owe an apologize to people. I am sorry I have been flaky lately. I just don't know how to deal with the sadness except to sleep and be anti-social. I am in bed usually by 8-9pm and sleep in late unless I have class. And its not just the Kris thing but I dont want to talk about it. Anyways you guys know that I am not really flaky and I am sorry for the inconvenience. Thank you to those who call and understand. I will be ok but as always it will take time....
So now Ali is back in my life and tables have turned. I am not getting my hopes up because it is like I don't care anymore. Since "hanging out" with Kris I got a feeling of what it is that I want. I had forgotten for a while what it takes to make me happy. Now I am refreshed and I won't forget it. The person I want is unhappily married and he is going to stick it out which I madly respect. He said the only way to give it a chance a real fighting chance is not to be tempted by me and he can't stand to have me as a friend because he still loves me, cares about me, and wants me. It has been a real battle and I still fighting inside of me but I verbally told him that I understand and that I will do as he requests.
Ali has been calling more often than usual lately to hang out. It was weird. He called and asked if I had eaten on FRiday and I hadn't. I thought it was gonna be one of those things were a bunch of people were going to be there. IT was just me and him. As if that wasn't odd enough, it felt like a date, and later he tried to feel up on me and kiss me when we were at the house. I think he was shocked when I said No. I think that was the first time he realized that I don't like him like that. Anyways...
I owe an apologize to people. I am sorry I have been flaky lately. I just don't know how to deal with the sadness except to sleep and be anti-social. I am in bed usually by 8-9pm and sleep in late unless I have class. And its not just the Kris thing but I dont want to talk about it. Anyways you guys know that I am not really flaky and I am sorry for the inconvenience. Thank you to those who call and understand. I will be ok but as always it will take time....