(no subject)
Freaking out. Whoo.
Feeling hollowed out with no appetite and I've no idea if it is because I'm sick or because I'm freaking out. The underlining panic attack could simply be made worse by the fact that I am sick, or having the panic attack could be making the symptoms of being sick worse.
But freaking out, true honest fear can make me feel just like this. I haven't felt like this in years. Thank god. I almost feel powerless. But I don't understand why.
Perhaps it's time to change my personality again, maybe it's going through a change or maybe I've been sleeping sort of thing and now I'm waking up but I'm afraid of the world around me. It's a scary place.
I should look into student loans, I can't be a manager if Raylene sees me nothing more as another pawn to do her bidding. I'm not being paid for that shit. See if I can talk to Brian about it but if I'm freaking out I can't talk to him abou tit. I can hardly sit still without wanting to burst into tears or throw up.
It upsets me when people tell me I haven't changed.
I am not the person I was five years ago, I am hardly the person I was two years ago. I have struggled with my emotions and my mood swings and have tried to gain control of myself. I am tired of taking a back seat to my emotions and I've set out to try to change.
And people who look at me and say that I haven't changed when I ask them politely to step away from me because they are in my personal space and I'm freaking out and just. Need my personal space is not being the same old me.
It's going to be a long, long day.
Feeling hollowed out with no appetite and I've no idea if it is because I'm sick or because I'm freaking out. The underlining panic attack could simply be made worse by the fact that I am sick, or having the panic attack could be making the symptoms of being sick worse.
But freaking out, true honest fear can make me feel just like this. I haven't felt like this in years. Thank god. I almost feel powerless. But I don't understand why.
Perhaps it's time to change my personality again, maybe it's going through a change or maybe I've been sleeping sort of thing and now I'm waking up but I'm afraid of the world around me. It's a scary place.
I should look into student loans, I can't be a manager if Raylene sees me nothing more as another pawn to do her bidding. I'm not being paid for that shit. See if I can talk to Brian about it but if I'm freaking out I can't talk to him abou tit. I can hardly sit still without wanting to burst into tears or throw up.
It upsets me when people tell me I haven't changed.
I am not the person I was five years ago, I am hardly the person I was two years ago. I have struggled with my emotions and my mood swings and have tried to gain control of myself. I am tired of taking a back seat to my emotions and I've set out to try to change.
And people who look at me and say that I haven't changed when I ask them politely to step away from me because they are in my personal space and I'm freaking out and just. Need my personal space is not being the same old me.
It's going to be a long, long day.