(no subject)
Freaking out. Zero desire to write and very little concentration. I spilt coffee grounds this morning and thought about going back to bed and calling into work. I'm having a bad week and we're having visitors this week. It's really easy for strangers to upset me and right now it is extremely easy for people I know to upset me even though I know they mean nothing about it.
Not like they are causing the panic.
It started Sunday when I caught a wiff of Emanuel's cologne or musk or whathaveyou. Everytime I caught a whiff of it I'd panic more so I avoided the frameshop unless I absolutely had to. He's quit now so thankfully I don't have to worry about the smell coming back. He tends to use a type of cologne for a while and then move on to another it seems so I'd have to put up with that for several weeks.
And it's not his fault either. Even I didn't know I'd have that reaction to a cologne. Kind of thinking I want to do calligraphy at work but people will be taking breaks and shaking the table and I'll want to kill one of them because I'm starting to get a hang of decorating letters. I'll take my knitting instead, I suppose.
Today, tomorrow and then four days off which include a reason for me get done up and wear a dress and be girly. I'm feeling very girly.
And far too vulnerable.
I haven't written in... uhm. Since... Friday? I take my netbook to school and read what I've got, which is a good practice, but I can't do that any more, can't even concentrate on the words.
*sigh*
Not like they are causing the panic.
It started Sunday when I caught a wiff of Emanuel's cologne or musk or whathaveyou. Everytime I caught a whiff of it I'd panic more so I avoided the frameshop unless I absolutely had to. He's quit now so thankfully I don't have to worry about the smell coming back. He tends to use a type of cologne for a while and then move on to another it seems so I'd have to put up with that for several weeks.
And it's not his fault either. Even I didn't know I'd have that reaction to a cologne. Kind of thinking I want to do calligraphy at work but people will be taking breaks and shaking the table and I'll want to kill one of them because I'm starting to get a hang of decorating letters. I'll take my knitting instead, I suppose.
Today, tomorrow and then four days off which include a reason for me get done up and wear a dress and be girly. I'm feeling very girly.
And far too vulnerable.
I haven't written in... uhm. Since... Friday? I take my netbook to school and read what I've got, which is a good practice, but I can't do that any more, can't even concentrate on the words.
*sigh*