(no subject)
Freaking out.
I have four stories going. Aftermath, Beginnings, Adaptation and Chairs. I love and cherish them all but I can't focus on any one of them. Not getting reviews for... well... basically any of them. Which sucks, but I'm getting the hits. It's just that the people who are reading aren't commenting. I love reviews. Reviews can get me through a bad day.
Another person joined the forum.
I want to write Aftermath but all I can think about is writing Beginnings.
Searching through the movies at home.
Thing is, I'm not looking for an action or fantasy or horror. It's like there's a movie I want to watch but can't recall the name of so I'm just looking through the collection over and over and over again.
I. I want to make soap but I want to get on gimp and do the kishi crest but I want to do Hiakuma but I want to do TAC but I want to...
I mean, I really want to do all these things and it's not like one thing or another is stopping me, I work on one thing for ten minutes, switch to another, it's like flicking through my web browsers except instead of wandering the net (which is now boring to me) I wander through my stories, adding as I please.
You know what I really want to do?
I want to work on Chairs and not have it come out an awkward conversation that I have to delete and rewrite. It's not the usual story, it's not the usual world and I've wondered for years...
It's not that I'm broken, it's not that I've got writer's block. It all still runs through my head and makes me giggle and makes me sigh and makes me... well think of Chairs. But when I sit down to work all of a sudden the words are gone. I can't write innuendo any more. Innuendo!
How fucking hard is it to say "polish my sword" seriously? How hard is it to have a conversation that is nothing but inuendo? Why is it so hard? Especially when Una is involved, the guy practically always talks in innuendo.
Maybe I'm bored with life. Nine to five job, no classes for summer. Kind of wanting a boyfriend. Home is good as per always and I don't want conflict so it's even better with the recent explosion that is my family to remind me of that but. It's like.
...
I could imagine a lover but I want one. I could imagine sitting on a lake but I'd rather actually sit there.
And I've had these cravings in the past and it's just been bad. Because I crave it and then I know I can't have it and I get depressed and then I get moody and people don't want to talk to me because. Well. I don't want to deal with a depressed me, and I have a pretty high tolerance for me.
I really hope this isn't the part where "normal" people have a booty call because the only person I'd want a booty call with is eight hundred miles away and I'd really rather solve this without sex.
Considering all the crap that goes along with sex... yeah...
I have four stories going. Aftermath, Beginnings, Adaptation and Chairs. I love and cherish them all but I can't focus on any one of them. Not getting reviews for... well... basically any of them. Which sucks, but I'm getting the hits. It's just that the people who are reading aren't commenting. I love reviews. Reviews can get me through a bad day.
Another person joined the forum.
I want to write Aftermath but all I can think about is writing Beginnings.
Searching through the movies at home.
Thing is, I'm not looking for an action or fantasy or horror. It's like there's a movie I want to watch but can't recall the name of so I'm just looking through the collection over and over and over again.
I. I want to make soap but I want to get on gimp and do the kishi crest but I want to do Hiakuma but I want to do TAC but I want to...
I mean, I really want to do all these things and it's not like one thing or another is stopping me, I work on one thing for ten minutes, switch to another, it's like flicking through my web browsers except instead of wandering the net (which is now boring to me) I wander through my stories, adding as I please.
You know what I really want to do?
I want to work on Chairs and not have it come out an awkward conversation that I have to delete and rewrite. It's not the usual story, it's not the usual world and I've wondered for years...
It's not that I'm broken, it's not that I've got writer's block. It all still runs through my head and makes me giggle and makes me sigh and makes me... well think of Chairs. But when I sit down to work all of a sudden the words are gone. I can't write innuendo any more. Innuendo!
How fucking hard is it to say "polish my sword" seriously? How hard is it to have a conversation that is nothing but inuendo? Why is it so hard? Especially when Una is involved, the guy practically always talks in innuendo.
Maybe I'm bored with life. Nine to five job, no classes for summer. Kind of wanting a boyfriend. Home is good as per always and I don't want conflict so it's even better with the recent explosion that is my family to remind me of that but. It's like.
...
I could imagine a lover but I want one. I could imagine sitting on a lake but I'd rather actually sit there.
And I've had these cravings in the past and it's just been bad. Because I crave it and then I know I can't have it and I get depressed and then I get moody and people don't want to talk to me because. Well. I don't want to deal with a depressed me, and I have a pretty high tolerance for me.
I really hope this isn't the part where "normal" people have a booty call because the only person I'd want a booty call with is eight hundred miles away and I'd really rather solve this without sex.
Considering all the crap that goes along with sex... yeah...