In which there are five ways medieval recorders ended up in latrines
I might've written this in the pub last night. Sorry.
Title: Five ways medieval recorders ended up in latrines
Note: of the five earliest recorders to survive mostly intact, all from the fourteenth century, four were found in latrines and the other one in a castle moat... possibly after having been thrown down a latrine.
Fandom: medieval European music
Characters: everyone in these ficlets is called Barry... or Bob
Warning: for swears (and some foreswearing too)
1. "Why don't you learn a proper instrument, like the lute? Girls love lutenists! Learn a song like Smell the Glove and they'll be all over you!" *
2. "No, you auditioned for the part of a Recording Angel...." **
3. "I own a whole fucking castle. I don't want the neighbours thinking I can't afford anything better than a fucking recorder player!" ***
4. "You're not going to get any gigs playing that shitty modern music. Nobody likes it. Just throw the mutant flageolet pipe away!" ****
5. "Recorders are an instrument of the Devil. All that 'teh teh bloody teh'. It'd try the patience of Our Lord Himself. Give it here!" *****
Notes
1* Turn that lute all the way up to eleven!!1!!
2** There's an actual recordering angel depicted in the altarpiece La Virgen con el Niño, from Santa Clara's church, in Tortosa, Catalonia, by Pere (Pedro) Serra, circa 1390. Oh, the irony!
3*** The castle known as Huis te Merwede, near Dordrecht, in the Netherlands, to be precise. Technically the owner was probably called Daniel van der Merwede but I like to think his friends called him Barry.
4**** There are two historical instruments called flageolets, and this refers to the earlier pipe, obv.
5***** There's a recorder player in a fresco depicting the Mocking of Jesus, in St George's church, in Staro Nagoričane, Macedonia, by Michael Astrapas and Eutychios, after 1315.
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Title: Five ways medieval recorders ended up in latrines
Note: of the five earliest recorders to survive mostly intact, all from the fourteenth century, four were found in latrines and the other one in a castle moat... possibly after having been thrown down a latrine.
Fandom: medieval European music
Characters: everyone in these ficlets is called Barry... or Bob
Warning: for swears (and some foreswearing too)
1. "Why don't you learn a proper instrument, like the lute? Girls love lutenists! Learn a song like Smell the Glove and they'll be all over you!" *
2. "No, you auditioned for the part of a Recording Angel...." **
3. "I own a whole fucking castle. I don't want the neighbours thinking I can't afford anything better than a fucking recorder player!" ***
4. "You're not going to get any gigs playing that shitty modern music. Nobody likes it. Just throw the mutant flageolet pipe away!" ****
5. "Recorders are an instrument of the Devil. All that 'teh teh bloody teh'. It'd try the patience of Our Lord Himself. Give it here!" *****
Notes
1* Turn that lute all the way up to eleven!!1!!
2** There's an actual recordering angel depicted in the altarpiece La Virgen con el Niño, from Santa Clara's church, in Tortosa, Catalonia, by Pere (Pedro) Serra, circa 1390. Oh, the irony!
3*** The castle known as Huis te Merwede, near Dordrecht, in the Netherlands, to be precise. Technically the owner was probably called Daniel van der Merwede but I like to think his friends called him Barry.
4**** There are two historical instruments called flageolets, and this refers to the earlier pipe, obv.
5***** There's a recorder player in a fresco depicting the Mocking of Jesus, in St George's church, in Staro Nagoričane, Macedonia, by Michael Astrapas and Eutychios, after 1315.
This entry was originally posted at http://spiralsheep.dreamwidth.org/539641.html and has
comments Please comment there using OpenID.