Turns out they were all just doubles.

[spiral_eyz]

So, this is what happened today:

I am asked a question at an inconvienent point in my day when I am extremely busy and I am preoccupied but I MUST make time for them, even when i really cannot or really don't want to speak with them right at this moment. I try to say I am busy, they demand the answer, I say I am not clearheaded right now, they say I

Comments

[spiral_eyz]

Thank you Cassandra, don't worry, I will not snap, and I do not ever intend to. Like I said, Life isn't all THAT hard for me. It was just an epiphany post as to WHY I act possibly the repetitive way I do with people in my family at times, and why I can be defensive and socially oblivious with outsiders at times. I intend to eventually seek a counselor's help someday, and see to that I can better learn to vent my personal frustrations to her so I don't vent them on others, and learn better communication through that. That way I can still be blunt and honest to others, but I don't get my emotions worked up into the matter and I can be a hopefully better listener as well, and also learn to not to try to defend myself so much even if I know Im right. Counseling would probably help me feel more relaxed about other silly bullshit and more comfortable with reaching out to new people as well.

I honestly wanted to tell you also a big THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart, as your visit and talks with me have really made me feel worlds better concerning my art and my self-esteem. I have been in doubts like any artist, but when I look at myself now, I know I've worked hard and that I am talented at what I do and I deserve to like my work, and don't have to be ashamed to say it. You've made me feel like a good person, and thats a really special gift I think you have in general for everybody, making people feel right about themselves and their ideas. Keep that up, and keep your own chin up too. I shall indeed continue to remain true to myself, and it is thanks to the love and honesty of good friends like you that I have been able to boost my confidence in myself and desire to take more action to suceed in my career. I know without you I'd not have even been taking the first step by this point.

BTW this happens to be an old post you have commented on, written before you even got to NY, and I was writing at a time of great anger and had set it to Private. It has reshown itself as I no longer felt by some time it was necessary to hide anymore.