Japan 01 - A step into overly organized Chaos
HELLO from TOKYO
[insert cliché Japanese greeting attempt here]
I have been trying hard to learn some Japanese, actually, but I keep panicking every time I get the chance to actually use it.
Ok, first up… Two Views from my Hotel in Yokohama.
I have a fancy toilet!
Note Plume of water shooting out towards opposite wall.
Ok… this photo took guts. I had no idea how the thing worked, but learnt pretty quickly that I had to override the “safety” (aka: bum sensor) to see what it would do… I guess you (yes you) would probably just sit and take a ride. I went for what I “thought” would be the safer option: tricking the sensor with my foot on the seat.
However my first attempt at this was not from this angle.
The Japanese think of ALMOST everything… there is no pressure sensor that detects “lack of ass” and turns the pressure off when you freak out from the toilet shooting you in the leg.
The bloody thing wouldn't switch off!
The scene that followed was similar to that of Kramer vs. the Elephant shower - as presented below from our sponsors:
Anyway, that sums up my Yokohama hotel experience. I not live down town Tokyo in a shoebox apartment with amazing storage space and an even fancier toilet and a detailed instruction booklet for every little gadget in the apartment EXCEPT the water heating unit that keeps talking at me.
Moving on!
Tokyo underground is nothing short of its reputation. Basically to use it effectively requires both of the following two maps, which you need to imagine superimposed over each other in an 11 dimensional string theory array in order to make any sense of it. (Just try)
While a lot of the stations appear on both maps. Almost NONE of the lines are the same. Oh, and there are many lines that don’t appear on either of these maps at all. They have maps of their own.
Neither of these maps are to any logical scale. It could be a 2 minute walk or a 20km hike to the next stop, so don’t get it wrong. A small looking station here will have about 10 exists to the street.
My work colleague and I got on the train the other day to find out what “something wasn’t quite right. Then we notices the following sign and a lot of angry looking women.
mmm… Pocari sweat.
A Pocari is a small cube shaped animal adapted to city dwellings.
Shibuya!
Ie: the place with the photos of lots of people crossing the street. Various cool places here.
Such as:
All you can eat and drink Brazzilian place!
They surve you here with machatteis and gian racks of meat
Oh… and brizzialian dancers too.
Yes… it really is ALL you can drink. This came after my 8th Gin.
Ashaii is best, best, plus, plus, bonus time for your enjoyment.
This night finished in Rippongi. The “gai-jin” (aka: stupid foreigners) district. It was still pretty cool… I don’t remember anything.
Back to Shibuya!.
On Sunday night we went to the Alcatraz ER Restaurant, which is decked out like at total lunatic asylum.
a table for four fits nice and sunggly in one of these cells. (upstairs or downstairs)
WORDS CANNOT DESCRIBE THIS PLACE.
What we ordered.
Special treatment for a guy who is having is birthday. This was our tableside entrainment provided by masked madmen and various doctors and nurses armed with giant anal syringes. .
So well …. Yes… what more is there to say?
See you all on the other side !
Dave
[insert cliché Japanese greeting attempt here]
I have been trying hard to learn some Japanese, actually, but I keep panicking every time I get the chance to actually use it.
Ok, first up… Two Views from my Hotel in Yokohama.
I have a fancy toilet!
Note Plume of water shooting out towards opposite wall.
Ok… this photo took guts. I had no idea how the thing worked, but learnt pretty quickly that I had to override the “safety” (aka: bum sensor) to see what it would do… I guess you (yes you) would probably just sit and take a ride. I went for what I “thought” would be the safer option: tricking the sensor with my foot on the seat.
However my first attempt at this was not from this angle.
The Japanese think of ALMOST everything… there is no pressure sensor that detects “lack of ass” and turns the pressure off when you freak out from the toilet shooting you in the leg.
The bloody thing wouldn't switch off!
The scene that followed was similar to that of Kramer vs. the Elephant shower - as presented below from our sponsors:
Click to viewAnyway, that sums up my Yokohama hotel experience. I not live down town Tokyo in a shoebox apartment with amazing storage space and an even fancier toilet and a detailed instruction booklet for every little gadget in the apartment EXCEPT the water heating unit that keeps talking at me.
Moving on!
Tokyo underground is nothing short of its reputation. Basically to use it effectively requires both of the following two maps, which you need to imagine superimposed over each other in an 11 dimensional string theory array in order to make any sense of it. (Just try)
While a lot of the stations appear on both maps. Almost NONE of the lines are the same. Oh, and there are many lines that don’t appear on either of these maps at all. They have maps of their own.
Neither of these maps are to any logical scale. It could be a 2 minute walk or a 20km hike to the next stop, so don’t get it wrong. A small looking station here will have about 10 exists to the street.
My work colleague and I got on the train the other day to find out what “something wasn’t quite right. Then we notices the following sign and a lot of angry looking women.
mmm… Pocari sweat.
A Pocari is a small cube shaped animal adapted to city dwellings.
Shibuya!
Ie: the place with the photos of lots of people crossing the street. Various cool places here.
Such as:
All you can eat and drink Brazzilian place!
They surve you here with machatteis and gian racks of meat
Oh… and brizzialian dancers too.
Yes… it really is ALL you can drink. This came after my 8th Gin.
Ashaii is best, best, plus, plus, bonus time for your enjoyment.
This night finished in Rippongi. The “gai-jin” (aka: stupid foreigners) district. It was still pretty cool… I don’t remember anything.
Back to Shibuya!.
On Sunday night we went to the Alcatraz ER Restaurant, which is decked out like at total lunatic asylum.
a table for four fits nice and sunggly in one of these cells. (upstairs or downstairs)
WORDS CANNOT DESCRIBE THIS PLACE.
What we ordered.
Special treatment for a guy who is having is birthday. This was our tableside entrainment provided by masked madmen and various doctors and nurses armed with giant anal syringes. .
So well …. Yes… what more is there to say?
See you all on the other side !
Dave