i think we miss that touch so much that we crash into each other just to feel something

[spinsincircles]

theres a tickle-y tingly feeling inside of me. i cant quite explain it. but thats what it is. it was in my legs when i went to bed. i scratched my calves, because it felt like an itch. but i could never find that spot. you know the one where theres a bump, a misquito bite to explain the itch. as the night went on i blamed my bed. and the heat. and then while i was reading i gave one of my legs a massage. and that was it. that was the part that tickled. it was my insides. they needed to be touched. they needed to feel something. that and just the extreme pleasure of giving a massage filled me up in places i never knew i was empty. that sounds dirty but i swear its not. thats why i want to be a masage therapist in the first place. because it relaxes me to massage people. thats all i ever wanted. but massage is such a dirty word now. and maybe it always has been. and maybe thats why its been so long. i dont think i've given a massage since i did jenny's neck at the lowell overnight. that was in december. and even longer since i've given a real one. which might explain the other part of the the tingly-ness. its in my chest. its anticipation. its excitement. my heart is so flustered at the very concept of the fact that i go home in 3 days.

HOME. its been far too long.

amisorra
maddie

i have to work at 8, it seems so pointless to bother with sleep now.