Horrible
So i came home early becuase today was by far the worst day of school....in a while...zach actually sat with me in art...only he didnt talk to me..when i asked him what was wrong he shook his head and said nothing....and then looked down and kind of sighed...and he kept looking back at melissa and shit and talking to her...i was about to be like yeah you know what fuck it go sit with the bitch..but whatever...but the fact that he didnt talkt to me and that i dont know what is going on or what he wants from me...got me really upset...and i dont know what the hell to do..i know i need to talk to him...but i dont want him to take it the wrong way..and if he doesnt want anything to go down..i still want to be friends with him at least...but then after that class i just broke down and started crying because everything is getting to me..i miss my mom...im confused i need someone to talk to its all getting to me...and i dont know the zach thing put the icing on the cake..im just hoping that this is all me being opimistic and all and that things with him will work out..but kevin likes me and kevin is my best friend..i think that he is the only guy that has ever seen me cry like that and can manage to make me smile..and i dont want to have a relationship with him because he is like my brother to me and i love him a lot...like a brother...and i can talk to him..i just cant see myself being with him..and i dont know...i mean he made me feel better today cause he gave me a big hug..and he kissed my forhead...so i dont know..somewhere down the road i think that something will end up happening but not right now...ill figure some things out..i just cant stop crying..and im so angry..and mad and all of it at the same time and i dont know what to do with myself.....