Pushing Daisies/BtVS: Death and Other Questions Never Answered
Title: Death and Other Questions Never Answered
Fandom: Pushing Daisies/Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Author: kawaiispinel
Feedback: ...Is loverly.
Word Count: 837
Rating: PG
Prompt: 69. Annoyance (Multifandom 100 Challenge)
Characters: Emerson, Ned, Chuck, Andrew
Summary: It should have been a routine trip to the morgue... Unfortunately one dead Slayer and a (sort-of) Watcher are kinda making that difficult.
Disclaimer: Nothing's mine. Get the lawyers off my lawn.
Author's Note: Also written for
allfireburns , because the plot bunny was just too good to pass up. This was an experiment in "Trying to Make Sure Ned Speaks As Little As Possible," because I don't feel comfortable with his voice yet, so that's why there's not much Ned-talking. And yes, I probably did write this fic just to get Andrew to say "Sweet Zombie Jesus." Also I'm fully aware it's not a drabble once it hits 800 words. Shut up. I make the rules with my own challenge.
It should have been a routine trip to the morgue to speak to a mysterious young woman who had been found with a bullet in her head on the outskirts of town. Unfortunately, they hadn’t expected there to be a young man in a suit sobbing uncontrollably over the girl’s body when they arrived.
"A defender of mankind taken down by a human," he seemed to be muttering between sobs. "Oh cruel irony!"
Chuck looked at Ned, who looked at Emerson, who looked like he wanted to forcefully eradicate the current problem they were having with extreme force. Seeing no nonviolent means of help coming from that end, Ned looked, instead, to Chuck, who was apparently no longer six-steps-away-but-still-clearly-beside-him, but walking towards the young man.
"Excuse me," she said, tapping him on the shoulder, frightening him so badly that he whirled around and began questioning her.
"Who are you and what are you doing here?" He demanded, trying to sound a lot braver than he looked. "Are you the murderers coming to take down the last of the Slayer’s friends here in town?"
"Who’s the Slayer?" Chuck asked, blinking.
The young man opened his mouth and then closed it again, before smacking his head. "Smooth move, Andrew," he muttered under his breath. "Why don’t you just print up some freakin’ business cards while you’re at it."
"Andrew," she repeated. "That’s your name?"
He nodded with a overly dramatic sigh. "Yes, I suppose there’s no point in hiding it anymore. I’m Andrew Wells. Nice to meet you, attractive auburn-haired lady."
Chuck giggled. "It’s Chuck."
("Why is she getting so friendly with the kid who’s keeping us from our job?" Emerson muttered to Ned.
"...I don’t really know," Ned replied.)
"Um, Andrew," Chuck continued. "Do you think we could have a moment with..." She jerked her head in the general direction of the corpse.
"You want to talk to Bridgette?" Andrew blinked, obviously getting the hint and proving he was quicker on the uptake than most in the room would have given him credit for.
"Yes."
"Why?"
"Kid, we don’t have to give you a damn reason," Emerson spoke up so suddenly that Andrew gave a very unmanly squeak and jumped. "Just give us a minute with the dead girl."
Andrew forced a nervous little smile. "Certainly, Mr. Large and Frightening Man... Sir." He darted past Ned and Emerson, pausing only to stick his tongue out at Emerson’s back on his way out the door- which only Chuck saw and had to hide a giggle because of.
Emerson rolled his eyes. "Now that that’s over, why don’t you go work your voodoo, Ned."
Ned looked to Chuck as he joined her beside the body, both of them preparing what they would say in the little time they had. Chuck gave a simple little nod to indicate that she was ready and Ned gently laid a finger on the dead girl, who promptly awoke.
"What the hell?" She snapped. "Oh God, did I die? Is this a Slayer thing- dying and coming back? Because I know Buffy did it, but-"
"Who killed you?" Emerson butted in before Ned or Chuck could beat around the bush any more than the girl already had with her frantic rambling.
"What?" The girl blinked.
Before she could say anything more, something darted into the room, so quickly that Ned had to jump aside to avoid being knocked into the dead-now-living-again girl or, worse, Chuck. "Bridgette! You’re alive! Sweet zombie Jesus, you’re alive!"
"Andrew?" Bridgette scowled at the young man who was now hugging her. "What am I doing in the morgue?"
"Well, someone apparently shot you in the head," Andrew chuckled nervously as he let her go. "But you’re alive now! It’s a miracle!" He jerked his thumb at Ned who was frantically checking his watch. "Who are these, people? I thought I told you girls not to mess with the locals."
"I don’t know them. They just showed up and wanted to know-" And just like that Bridgette was dead again, because Ned, fearing the backlash of his power once his minute was up had tapped her on the foot.
Andrew, looking very shocked turned to Ned for answers, who turned to Chuck for help in supplying him with those answers, who then turned to Emerson who just looked like he wouldn’t be happy until everyone else in the room was as dead as Bridgette.
"You," he finally said, pointing to Ned, "have some explaining to do." As he walked out the door, he added over his shoulder, "You two can handle the kid any way you like. I’m going back to the office to find out who killed that girl the old-fashioned way."
In all honesty, he really just had a desperate desire to knit a sweater.
Fandom: Pushing Daisies/Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Author: kawaiispinel
Feedback: ...Is loverly.
Word Count: 837
Rating: PG
Prompt: 69. Annoyance (Multifandom 100 Challenge)
Characters: Emerson, Ned, Chuck, Andrew
Summary: It should have been a routine trip to the morgue... Unfortunately one dead Slayer and a (sort-of) Watcher are kinda making that difficult.
Disclaimer: Nothing's mine. Get the lawyers off my lawn.
Author's Note: Also written for
allfireburns , because the plot bunny was just too good to pass up. This was an experiment in "Trying to Make Sure Ned Speaks As Little As Possible," because I don't feel comfortable with his voice yet, so that's why there's not much Ned-talking. And yes, I probably did write this fic just to get Andrew to say "Sweet Zombie Jesus." Also I'm fully aware it's not a drabble once it hits 800 words. Shut up. I make the rules with my own challenge.
It should have been a routine trip to the morgue to speak to a mysterious young woman who had been found with a bullet in her head on the outskirts of town. Unfortunately, they hadn’t expected there to be a young man in a suit sobbing uncontrollably over the girl’s body when they arrived.
"A defender of mankind taken down by a human," he seemed to be muttering between sobs. "Oh cruel irony!"
Chuck looked at Ned, who looked at Emerson, who looked like he wanted to forcefully eradicate the current problem they were having with extreme force. Seeing no nonviolent means of help coming from that end, Ned looked, instead, to Chuck, who was apparently no longer six-steps-away-but-still-clearly-beside-him, but walking towards the young man.
"Excuse me," she said, tapping him on the shoulder, frightening him so badly that he whirled around and began questioning her.
"Who are you and what are you doing here?" He demanded, trying to sound a lot braver than he looked. "Are you the murderers coming to take down the last of the Slayer’s friends here in town?"
"Who’s the Slayer?" Chuck asked, blinking.
The young man opened his mouth and then closed it again, before smacking his head. "Smooth move, Andrew," he muttered under his breath. "Why don’t you just print up some freakin’ business cards while you’re at it."
"Andrew," she repeated. "That’s your name?"
He nodded with a overly dramatic sigh. "Yes, I suppose there’s no point in hiding it anymore. I’m Andrew Wells. Nice to meet you, attractive auburn-haired lady."
Chuck giggled. "It’s Chuck."
("Why is she getting so friendly with the kid who’s keeping us from our job?" Emerson muttered to Ned.
"...I don’t really know," Ned replied.)
"Um, Andrew," Chuck continued. "Do you think we could have a moment with..." She jerked her head in the general direction of the corpse.
"You want to talk to Bridgette?" Andrew blinked, obviously getting the hint and proving he was quicker on the uptake than most in the room would have given him credit for.
"Yes."
"Why?"
"Kid, we don’t have to give you a damn reason," Emerson spoke up so suddenly that Andrew gave a very unmanly squeak and jumped. "Just give us a minute with the dead girl."
Andrew forced a nervous little smile. "Certainly, Mr. Large and Frightening Man... Sir." He darted past Ned and Emerson, pausing only to stick his tongue out at Emerson’s back on his way out the door- which only Chuck saw and had to hide a giggle because of.
Emerson rolled his eyes. "Now that that’s over, why don’t you go work your voodoo, Ned."
Ned looked to Chuck as he joined her beside the body, both of them preparing what they would say in the little time they had. Chuck gave a simple little nod to indicate that she was ready and Ned gently laid a finger on the dead girl, who promptly awoke.
"What the hell?" She snapped. "Oh God, did I die? Is this a Slayer thing- dying and coming back? Because I know Buffy did it, but-"
"Who killed you?" Emerson butted in before Ned or Chuck could beat around the bush any more than the girl already had with her frantic rambling.
"What?" The girl blinked.
Before she could say anything more, something darted into the room, so quickly that Ned had to jump aside to avoid being knocked into the dead-now-living-again girl or, worse, Chuck. "Bridgette! You’re alive! Sweet zombie Jesus, you’re alive!"
"Andrew?" Bridgette scowled at the young man who was now hugging her. "What am I doing in the morgue?"
"Well, someone apparently shot you in the head," Andrew chuckled nervously as he let her go. "But you’re alive now! It’s a miracle!" He jerked his thumb at Ned who was frantically checking his watch. "Who are these, people? I thought I told you girls not to mess with the locals."
"I don’t know them. They just showed up and wanted to know-" And just like that Bridgette was dead again, because Ned, fearing the backlash of his power once his minute was up had tapped her on the foot.
Andrew, looking very shocked turned to Ned for answers, who turned to Chuck for help in supplying him with those answers, who then turned to Emerson who just looked like he wouldn’t be happy until everyone else in the room was as dead as Bridgette.
"You," he finally said, pointing to Ned, "have some explaining to do." As he walked out the door, he added over his shoulder, "You two can handle the kid any way you like. I’m going back to the office to find out who killed that girl the old-fashioned way."
In all honesty, he really just had a desperate desire to knit a sweater.