Captions and pictures and birthdays, oh my!
So here I am again :) Okay, granted, a day later than I planned, but eight months sooner than usual, right? PROGRESS! I think I deserve a weekend with Pretty.
*actually takes a moment to fantasize*
Um, so I said I had a caption adventure! And as I was bringing up my previous one to get the links to my other... previous ones, I read a bit of my previous one and it kind of was sort of pretty good. So I'm not too sure if this one will be able to hold its own, especially FOLLOWING that one--I mean, c'mon--James and Spike fighting/possibly sexing? How do you top THAT!?!?!?!?!?! You see my predicament. I look at the screencaps, in the order they're in, and whatever thoughts come to me I jot down. Occasionally I rework the order and play around with things, but if I over-think stuff, nine times out of ten it sucks ass. So I don't think too hard. Or at least I try not to, which isn't really too hard for me ;)
That said, I think last time and the one with wardrobe-bitching!Spike were the best, followed closely by the James/David Spangely photoshoot Angel promos. Keep in mind that there's always next time!
'Kayz. Here be the previous installments, for you dears who missed out:
Cool Money, MY way: It Starts!
Cool Money, MY way: Part Deux
Cool Money, MY way: Enter Fangirl!Wifebot OMG
Cool Money, MY way: K-Fed Wannabe Wigga!James Wears HAZMAT PJs
Cool Money, MY way: True confessions of Prison Bitch!James
Cool Money, MY way: Let the Spames Begin
And onward into the fray we continue.
*size of James’ gun is massively larger than it appears*
. . . .
*like, mammoth-size*
JAMES: Doo da doo... dum duh dee... hey ladies-the door’s open, so that equals an invite!
NIBBLET: It’s a hotel, you dork. You don’t need an invite for public property.
JAMES: Especially when I’m dressed like THIS.
NIBBLET: Honey, you could be wearing a fiber optic nun’s habit and we’d invite you in.
JAMES: *innocent whistle*
NIBBLET: IXNAY ON THE ISTLEWAY. This is freakin’ someone else’s hotel room, Brainiac.
JAMES: Oooh... naughty.
NIBBLET: Could be a chick sleeping in there, so hush up and do your thing.
JAMES: Niiiiiiice!
JAMES: You mind if I pee first?
NIBBLET: Normally not, but you’re not going in there to pee.
JAMES: Sure I am. I’ve had to pee for over twenty pictures, remember?
NIBBLET: You’re going in there to check yourself out and flex your cheekbones for fifteen minutes, and we don’t have time for that.
JAMES: Fine. But you owe me.
NIBBLET: Gladly! I’m thinking that huge bathtub with the massaging spa jets will be involved.
JAMES: BTW... this brow furrowing? Perfected from those bathroom trips, I’ll have you know.
NIBBLET: Thanks for the insight.
JAMES: Wha---spa bathtub??!?!!
JAMES: Forsooth, milady... I am your Lord James Marsters, this is my man-weapon, and I am now entering your bedroom.
NIBBLET: Hotel room.
JAMES: Shhhhh!!!!!!! Ruining it!!
JAMES: Ahem. Take two, shall we? I can probably do it even better this time. Lament thy loins oft yonder nevermore, fair maid, for it is your Lord James Marsters and I am now-
WOMAN: Will you quit the theatrics and just get your hot ass in here?
JAMES: Heeeeyyy... ‘Sup, baby?
WOMAN: Why don’t yooooouuuu tell meeeee?
JAMES: My other gun’s a magnum, you know.
JAMES: Whaddaya think about THAT?
WOMAN: I think I have a muscle cramp in my boob.
JAMES: . . .
JAMES: *flexes his cheekbones*
BIMB-HO: Do you think I have a muscle cramp in my boob?
JAMES: Oh, I think it’s entirely possible you have a muscle cramp in your boob.
JAMES: In fact, it’s downright probable you have a muscle cramp in your boob.
JAMES: And I happen to be an expert on various muscle cramps. Isn’t today your lucky day.
NIBBLET: *snort*
JAMES: Pay no attention to my little nurse behind the computer screen. She hasn’t had a muscle cramp in a while.
JAMES: Now, what I want you to do first is take this glass of nice cold water...
JAMES: ...and dump it all over your boobular area.
JAMES: *desperately tries not to do it himself*
Awww, look at the good boy controlling his gropey-grabby fingers!
JAMES: Mmm... boobies.
SLUT-HO: You sure this will help the muscle cramp in my boob?
JAMES: Less talking, more drenching, honey.
JAMES: *concerned* You look tired. You want me to help apply the water?
WHORE-HO: No, I want you to grope my boob.
JAMES: Are you TRYING to be difficult, or are you just a natural blonde?
LAQUEETA: I’m not a natural blonde.
NIBBLET: Please don’t elaborate. I’m begging you.
JAMES: Nope... just a little lower... almost there.
LAQUEETA: I learned the Sweet ‘N’ Low trick from you, you know.
NIBBLET: *facepalm*
JAMES: *entirely his idea*
LAQUEETA: *actually PAID money to get this role*
NIBBLET: *insanely, psychotically jealous* You guys SUCK!
JAMES: Uhhhh................. Nibblet who?
NIBBLET: *slaps his ass*
JAMES: Oh... that Nipplet. *squeezes zee boobie*
NIBBLET: *eyeroll* The phone’s ringing, you perv.
JAMES: Hello, this is James!
CASSINI: You’re fondling some chick’s tit, aren’t you?
JAMES: Define "fondling."
CASSINI: *click*
JAMES: Not cool, Moesha. Not cool at all.
LAQUEETA: Laqueeta.
JAMES: Now this is a very serious situation here, so I need you to sit tight and listen up.
JAMES: I’m a gentleman, first and foremost. Your left girl has sort of flown the coop a bit, so to speak. Might want to see about that.
LAQUEETA: . . .
JAMES: Stick the boob back in the nightie, woman! For the love of God, are you SURE you’re not a natural blonde?
LAQUEETA: I’m an actress!
JAMES: Ah. Understood.
JAMES: Well, I’m sorry to tell you that things are only going to get worse from here.
LAQUEETA: You mean as far as this movie goes?
JAMES: *resists inherent urge to fang those juicy melons right off that heaving chest*
JAMES: Seriously-LAQUEETA?? Did your parents lose a bet or something?
NIBBLET: Mighty pious words from the man who just called me “Nipplet.”
JAMES: I do make good nipplets.
LAQUEETA: *gigglesqueakhyperventilates*
NIBBLET: Out. Now.
JAMES: Yay, more baddiful clothes!
CASSINI: Heh. I saw you in your undies.
JAMES: I go commando, retard.
JAMES: Check OUT that package, baby.
TAILOR: *isn’t actually doing anything legit-you do the math*
JAMES: Whoa. What the fuck was that, Henrik?
HENRIK: Your inseam, sir.
JAMES: THERE??
CASSINI: I’ll do your inseam, you gorgeous hunk of sex, you.
JAMES: *the most adorable boy in all the world*
JAMES: *who just keeps getting MORE adorable*
JAMES: Nice place.
CASSINI: Very nice.
JAMES: Great ambience.
CASSINI: Excellent music.
JAMES: Why the hell are we here, again?
CASSINI: No clue.
JAMES: Did you just fart?
CASSINI: Are you ever going to make a move?
JAMES: You’ve gotta be kidding me. All this hyped-up fuss over Captain Broody’s new digs on TV and his show is called “Bones”???
NIBBLET: Hey, it’s been getting good reviews so far.
JAMES: “Bones”??
NIBBLET: “Cool Money”??
JAMES: Well, at least I have range. He’s an FBI agent with a soft heart who solves crimes? I mean, come on-he’s not even TRYING.
NIBBLET: He’s working. You gotta give him that.
JAMES: Not with a name like “Seely.”
NIBBLET: Um, okay, “Milton.”
Brainiac!JAMES: Milton FINE.
NIBBLET: FTW, honey.
Fine!JAMES: SO FINE.
JAMES: Aww, fuck. Not you again.
CAN’T REMEMBER HIS NAME GUY: OMG, I totally have that pullover in lilac shimmer, man!
JAMES: Let go of my hand. Now.
STALKER BOY: But my contract requires-
JAMES: OnStar, where’s my fake bad actress wife?
ONSTAR: Ask me in your Spike voice.
JAMES: OnStar, I’m really not in the mood for this.
ONSTAR: Then I guess I’m not in the mood for spewing out directions at your every whim!!!!!!! I don’t ASK that much, just a bit of indulgence now and then-you’d think you could-
JAMES: *silkily* Come on... I can feel it, OnStar. You know you wanna drive...
ONSTAR: *spikegasms*
Right, then! Hope that made at least a few of ya smile :) And I'm feverishly working on Part Eight, abhorred at myself that I'm feverishly working on Part EIGHT.
I missed several birthdays during my tenure on No Excuses Land, so I'd love to take this opportunity to apologize and wish giganimous Happy Birthday loves to the following people:
operavampirate, on June 19 :) Lovely fellow vampire/pirate-loving pet of mine! I think you well know I think the world of you and I thank my lucky stars there's someone so much like me in SO many important ways--most of all the talking!! You're one of the sweetest, most genuine, ever-the-patient, loveliest friends I have and you bring so much light and life to my flist. I love seeing your name pop up as one of the first comments (if not usually THE first) on my posts!
bluedeception, on April 24... sweetie! I could probably spend a whole day hugging you and the rest of the night partying and it would be the best EVAH. We totally should sometime. You're one of those people I know I'd click with just as well in person as I do here.
jekylls_bast, on May 11. Yeah, you :) I could sit here for the next six paragraphs and chat at you while I explain the deal, but you know me... so for right now I'm just going to wish you a supremely late Happy Birthday and hope it was everything you wanted it to be.
cathain_magi, on May 31... hey missy! Haven't seen you around in a while, but then again, who am I to talk? ;S I hope your birthday was utterly amazing :) I'm-a go check your LJ and see what's up here in a sec.
absenteye, on June 1. I could thump myself for missing your birthday, sweetheart. I haven't talked to you in FOREVER. I hope it was fantastico. I need to harass Impy and see if she's been in touch with you 'cause damn this is not good. Happy, Happiness Birthday, punkin. *hugs*
camkin, on June 24. Wow, really batting zero here, aren't I? I love getting comments from you--so please don't stop now because I forgot your birthday twice... lol. And did you bring me a hot German guy? *bounces* Uh, I mean--how's that German countryside?
*actually takes a moment to fantasize*
Um, so I said I had a caption adventure! And as I was bringing up my previous one to get the links to my other... previous ones, I read a bit of my previous one and it kind of was sort of pretty good. So I'm not too sure if this one will be able to hold its own, especially FOLLOWING that one--I mean, c'mon--James and Spike fighting/possibly sexing? How do you top THAT!?!?!?!?!?! You see my predicament. I look at the screencaps, in the order they're in, and whatever thoughts come to me I jot down. Occasionally I rework the order and play around with things, but if I over-think stuff, nine times out of ten it sucks ass. So I don't think too hard. Or at least I try not to, which isn't really too hard for me ;)
That said, I think last time and the one with wardrobe-bitching!Spike were the best, followed closely by the James/David Spangely photoshoot Angel promos. Keep in mind that there's always next time!
'Kayz. Here be the previous installments, for you dears who missed out:
Cool Money, MY way: It Starts!
Cool Money, MY way: Part Deux
Cool Money, MY way: Enter Fangirl!Wifebot OMG
Cool Money, MY way: K-Fed Wannabe Wigga!James Wears HAZMAT PJs
Cool Money, MY way: True confessions of Prison Bitch!James
Cool Money, MY way: Let the Spames Begin
And onward into the fray we continue.
*size of James’ gun is massively larger than it appears*
. . . .
*like, mammoth-size*
JAMES: Doo da doo... dum duh dee... hey ladies-the door’s open, so that equals an invite!
NIBBLET: It’s a hotel, you dork. You don’t need an invite for public property.
JAMES: Especially when I’m dressed like THIS.
NIBBLET: Honey, you could be wearing a fiber optic nun’s habit and we’d invite you in.
JAMES: *innocent whistle*
NIBBLET: IXNAY ON THE ISTLEWAY. This is freakin’ someone else’s hotel room, Brainiac.
JAMES: Oooh... naughty.
NIBBLET: Could be a chick sleeping in there, so hush up and do your thing.
JAMES: Niiiiiiice!
JAMES: You mind if I pee first?
NIBBLET: Normally not, but you’re not going in there to pee.
JAMES: Sure I am. I’ve had to pee for over twenty pictures, remember?
NIBBLET: You’re going in there to check yourself out and flex your cheekbones for fifteen minutes, and we don’t have time for that.
JAMES: Fine. But you owe me.
NIBBLET: Gladly! I’m thinking that huge bathtub with the massaging spa jets will be involved.
JAMES: BTW... this brow furrowing? Perfected from those bathroom trips, I’ll have you know.
NIBBLET: Thanks for the insight.
JAMES: Wha---spa bathtub??!?!!
JAMES: Forsooth, milady... I am your Lord James Marsters, this is my man-weapon, and I am now entering your bedroom.
NIBBLET: Hotel room.
JAMES: Shhhhh!!!!!!! Ruining it!!
JAMES: Ahem. Take two, shall we? I can probably do it even better this time. Lament thy loins oft yonder nevermore, fair maid, for it is your Lord James Marsters and I am now-
WOMAN: Will you quit the theatrics and just get your hot ass in here?
JAMES: Heeeeyyy... ‘Sup, baby?
WOMAN: Why don’t yooooouuuu tell meeeee?
JAMES: My other gun’s a magnum, you know.
JAMES: Whaddaya think about THAT?
WOMAN: I think I have a muscle cramp in my boob.
JAMES: . . .
JAMES: *flexes his cheekbones*
BIMB-HO: Do you think I have a muscle cramp in my boob?
JAMES: Oh, I think it’s entirely possible you have a muscle cramp in your boob.
JAMES: In fact, it’s downright probable you have a muscle cramp in your boob.
JAMES: And I happen to be an expert on various muscle cramps. Isn’t today your lucky day.
NIBBLET: *snort*
JAMES: Pay no attention to my little nurse behind the computer screen. She hasn’t had a muscle cramp in a while.
JAMES: Now, what I want you to do first is take this glass of nice cold water...
JAMES: ...and dump it all over your boobular area.
JAMES: *desperately tries not to do it himself*
Awww, look at the good boy controlling his gropey-grabby fingers!
JAMES: Mmm... boobies.
SLUT-HO: You sure this will help the muscle cramp in my boob?
JAMES: Less talking, more drenching, honey.
JAMES: *concerned* You look tired. You want me to help apply the water?
WHORE-HO: No, I want you to grope my boob.
JAMES: Are you TRYING to be difficult, or are you just a natural blonde?
LAQUEETA: I’m not a natural blonde.
NIBBLET: Please don’t elaborate. I’m begging you.
JAMES: Nope... just a little lower... almost there.
LAQUEETA: I learned the Sweet ‘N’ Low trick from you, you know.
NIBBLET: *facepalm*
JAMES: *entirely his idea*
LAQUEETA: *actually PAID money to get this role*
NIBBLET: *insanely, psychotically jealous* You guys SUCK!
JAMES: Uhhhh................. Nibblet who?
NIBBLET: *slaps his ass*
JAMES: Oh... that Nipplet. *squeezes zee boobie*
NIBBLET: *eyeroll* The phone’s ringing, you perv.
JAMES: Hello, this is James!
CASSINI: You’re fondling some chick’s tit, aren’t you?
JAMES: Define "fondling."
CASSINI: *click*
JAMES: Not cool, Moesha. Not cool at all.
LAQUEETA: Laqueeta.
JAMES: Now this is a very serious situation here, so I need you to sit tight and listen up.
JAMES: I’m a gentleman, first and foremost. Your left girl has sort of flown the coop a bit, so to speak. Might want to see about that.
LAQUEETA: . . .
JAMES: Stick the boob back in the nightie, woman! For the love of God, are you SURE you’re not a natural blonde?
LAQUEETA: I’m an actress!
JAMES: Ah. Understood.
JAMES: Well, I’m sorry to tell you that things are only going to get worse from here.
LAQUEETA: You mean as far as this movie goes?
JAMES: *resists inherent urge to fang those juicy melons right off that heaving chest*
JAMES: Seriously-LAQUEETA?? Did your parents lose a bet or something?
NIBBLET: Mighty pious words from the man who just called me “Nipplet.”
JAMES: I do make good nipplets.
LAQUEETA: *gigglesqueakhyperventilates*
NIBBLET: Out. Now.
JAMES: Yay, more baddiful clothes!
CASSINI: Heh. I saw you in your undies.
JAMES: I go commando, retard.
JAMES: Check OUT that package, baby.
TAILOR: *isn’t actually doing anything legit-you do the math*
JAMES: Whoa. What the fuck was that, Henrik?
HENRIK: Your inseam, sir.
JAMES: THERE??
CASSINI: I’ll do your inseam, you gorgeous hunk of sex, you.
JAMES: *the most adorable boy in all the world*
JAMES: *who just keeps getting MORE adorable*
JAMES: Nice place.
CASSINI: Very nice.
JAMES: Great ambience.
CASSINI: Excellent music.
JAMES: Why the hell are we here, again?
CASSINI: No clue.
JAMES: Did you just fart?
CASSINI: Are you ever going to make a move?
JAMES: You’ve gotta be kidding me. All this hyped-up fuss over Captain Broody’s new digs on TV and his show is called “Bones”???
NIBBLET: Hey, it’s been getting good reviews so far.
JAMES: “Bones”??
NIBBLET: “Cool Money”??
JAMES: Well, at least I have range. He’s an FBI agent with a soft heart who solves crimes? I mean, come on-he’s not even TRYING.
NIBBLET: He’s working. You gotta give him that.
JAMES: Not with a name like “Seely.”
NIBBLET: Um, okay, “Milton.”
Brainiac!JAMES: Milton FINE.
NIBBLET: FTW, honey.
Fine!JAMES: SO FINE.
JAMES: Aww, fuck. Not you again.
CAN’T REMEMBER HIS NAME GUY: OMG, I totally have that pullover in lilac shimmer, man!
JAMES: Let go of my hand. Now.
STALKER BOY: But my contract requires-
JAMES: OnStar, where’s my fake bad actress wife?
ONSTAR: Ask me in your Spike voice.
JAMES: OnStar, I’m really not in the mood for this.
ONSTAR: Then I guess I’m not in the mood for spewing out directions at your every whim!!!!!!! I don’t ASK that much, just a bit of indulgence now and then-you’d think you could-
JAMES: *silkily* Come on... I can feel it, OnStar. You know you wanna drive...
ONSTAR: *spikegasms*
Right, then! Hope that made at least a few of ya smile :) And I'm feverishly working on Part Eight, abhorred at myself that I'm feverishly working on Part EIGHT.
I missed several birthdays during my tenure on No Excuses Land, so I'd love to take this opportunity to apologize and wish giganimous Happy Birthday loves to the following people:
operavampirate, on June 19 :) Lovely fellow vampire/pirate-loving pet of mine! I think you well know I think the world of you and I thank my lucky stars there's someone so much like me in SO many important ways--most of all the talking!! You're one of the sweetest, most genuine, ever-the-patient, loveliest friends I have and you bring so much light and life to my flist. I love seeing your name pop up as one of the first comments (if not usually THE first) on my posts!
bluedeception, on April 24... sweetie! I could probably spend a whole day hugging you and the rest of the night partying and it would be the best EVAH. We totally should sometime. You're one of those people I know I'd click with just as well in person as I do here.
jekylls_bast, on May 11. Yeah, you :) I could sit here for the next six paragraphs and chat at you while I explain the deal, but you know me... so for right now I'm just going to wish you a supremely late Happy Birthday and hope it was everything you wanted it to be.
cathain_magi, on May 31... hey missy! Haven't seen you around in a while, but then again, who am I to talk? ;S I hope your birthday was utterly amazing :) I'm-a go check your LJ and see what's up here in a sec.
absenteye, on June 1. I could thump myself for missing your birthday, sweetheart. I haven't talked to you in FOREVER. I hope it was fantastico. I need to harass Impy and see if she's been in touch with you 'cause damn this is not good. Happy, Happiness Birthday, punkin. *hugs*
camkin, on June 24. Wow, really batting zero here, aren't I? I love getting comments from you--so please don't stop now because I forgot your birthday twice... lol. And did you bring me a hot German guy? *bounces* Uh, I mean--how's that German countryside?