im a part-time friend. i realize this. im always so caught up in my own distress that i forget others need me. but then i think.. who could actually need ME? im nothing. really. people tell me im "gorgeous" that im "so awesome" blah bla blah. fuck them. im a piece of shit they would accidently step on & immediately scrape off the bottom of their shoe. nobody keeps me around for long. & because im aware of this.. i screw myself over a lot. i end things with people... i keep my distance.. because i dont want to be the one beaten & discarded. "get rid of them before they can get rid of you" (rolls eyes) im a loser, simon. im a giant idiot who hasnt the faintest clue as to what life is about. im constantly lost & feeling alone..... yet i wont really let anyone in. fuck.. everytime ive let someone close theyve destroyed me. im selfish. im a bitch. im everything negative a person can think of..... except im still not a liar. not that it matters anyway.. no one ever believes me. im never there for you & im sorry. im of no use to anyone
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if i thought do little of you Tiff.. i wouldnt try so hard to get you to talk to you.. but i given up.. people dont care.. and now i dont want them to.. everyone plays games.. they aint fun anymore
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i miss you
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