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[spikes199]

I sit here, and i read my friends journals.. people that mean something to me.. if i dont know them in real life

Comments

[_fallingdown]

im a part-time friend. i realize this. im always so caught up in my own distress that i forget others need me. but then i think.. who could actually need ME? im nothing. really. people tell me im "gorgeous" that im "so awesome" blah bla blah. fuck them. im a piece of shit they would accidently step on & immediately scrape off the bottom of their shoe. nobody keeps me around for long. & because im aware of this.. i screw myself over a lot. i end things with people... i keep my distance.. because i dont want to be the one beaten & discarded. "get rid of them before they can get rid of you" (rolls eyes) im a loser, simon. im a giant idiot who hasnt the faintest clue as to what life is about. im constantly lost & feeling alone..... yet i wont really let anyone in. fuck.. everytime ive let someone close theyve destroyed me. im selfish. im a bitch. im everything negative a person can think of..... except im still not a liar. not that it matters anyway.. no one ever believes me. im never there for you & im sorry. im of no use to anyone anyway.. im so mixed up & shattered all the time.. how can i possibly help anyone else? gawd.. there is like no point to this rambling. i guess i just wanted to attempt to express that its not that i dont fucking love you as a friend.. its that i dont know how to be a good friend anymore.. to anyone. i dont want you to leave, simon. i dont want to lose you forever. i know it seems that i dont care anymore.. & that i wont even miss you... but fuck simon.. you mean more to me than i could EVER express. im a closed off cunt who cant even keep a good friend. im sorry im not there for you, simon. im sorry i dont walk you anymore. im sorry im so terrified all the time. im just.... sorry.....

you'll never leave my thoughts &
you'll forever have a piece of my heart

love,
Tiffany

Re:

[spikes199]

if i thought do little of you Tiff.. i wouldnt try so hard to get you to talk to you.. but i given up.. people dont care.. and now i dont want them to.. everyone plays games.. they aint fun anymore

[_fallingdown]

they never were fun...

Re:

[spikes199]

maybe at the start it seems innocent... but there they change and people get hurt..

[_fallingdown]

youre growing more cold with each day...

i miss you

Re:

[spikes199]

and i fucken hate.. im not me.. but i dont know how to fix it.. and i dont know if i should give a fuck anymore