hello?

[spiffyfreak28]

flicker
flicker and fade
fade into the background,
into society and into the rest of humanity
you thought you had your own little world, but it's just with every one else
you try to rebel
you try to be different
try to change the world
but I'm not surprised
it's inevitable
it's boring
looking back I can see exactly how I got here
I had such high hopes
I guess I settled for less
I feel myself fading
the fire is going out in me
is this what it feels like to grow up?
god, it's awful
I have no aspirations, I am no longer diligent
I feel like a beautiful picture left in the sun too long
faded
less beautiful and inspiring
why do I get out of bed in the morning?
because I have to
it is my duty
it is what must be done

I randomly feel like I'm high
like right now
I feel like I'm coming down
uninspired and drained
I crave intoxication
just to feel something
something different
something to stop the voice(s) in my head

who am I again?
a shell waiting to be filled
in transition

I want to feel something

Why does life have to get in the way of living?