Somebody find me somebody to love.
Sometimes I wonder, if things were different...
Like, if certain things had never happened.
If our lives had been shaped differently.
If, if, if...
In theory, it would be perfect.
But that's just a theory, and life happened the way it did for a reason, right? God doesn't just toy with us, does he? He wouldn't dangle perfection in front of our nose, and then reveal to us that somewhere along the line, he felt like screwing with it. The perfection is STILL perfection, and you see it as such, but it just can't see anything worthwhile in you.
And this happens a lot to everyone, I think. You see perfection. You see exactly what you're looking for. Maybe it isn't what you THOUGHT you were looking for, but you realize eventually that maybe it should be. But then, even after all of that, that perfection isn't looking for you.
So then you try to force yourself into looking for something completely different. And you try, and you try... and then you realize you're still looking for the exact same thing.
It sucks. It's like God's playing head games with us. Baiting us. Taunting us.
And sometimes I think that no matter what we try to force ourselves to do, we'll always want the same things. Maybe we're supposed to want what we find that we actually want. At least parts of it.
And then sometimes, you search, leaving no stone unturned, for maybe a better version of that perfection you thought you'd found. But you just keep comparing everything back to the original.
And then you turn back to the original, and you're reminded that you're nothing to it. Your perfection finds you far, far from it.
Life's just weird. Ramblings. Sorry.
I'm lonely, and I'm looking for love in all the wrong places. Not sure what the right places are, but I'm not finding any where I'm looking, so clearly either the universe has set it before me to die alone, or I just have to wait.
I am so, so sick of waiting.
Like, if certain things had never happened.
If our lives had been shaped differently.
If, if, if...
In theory, it would be perfect.
But that's just a theory, and life happened the way it did for a reason, right? God doesn't just toy with us, does he? He wouldn't dangle perfection in front of our nose, and then reveal to us that somewhere along the line, he felt like screwing with it. The perfection is STILL perfection, and you see it as such, but it just can't see anything worthwhile in you.
And this happens a lot to everyone, I think. You see perfection. You see exactly what you're looking for. Maybe it isn't what you THOUGHT you were looking for, but you realize eventually that maybe it should be. But then, even after all of that, that perfection isn't looking for you.
So then you try to force yourself into looking for something completely different. And you try, and you try... and then you realize you're still looking for the exact same thing.
It sucks. It's like God's playing head games with us. Baiting us. Taunting us.
And sometimes I think that no matter what we try to force ourselves to do, we'll always want the same things. Maybe we're supposed to want what we find that we actually want. At least parts of it.
And then sometimes, you search, leaving no stone unturned, for maybe a better version of that perfection you thought you'd found. But you just keep comparing everything back to the original.
And then you turn back to the original, and you're reminded that you're nothing to it. Your perfection finds you far, far from it.
Life's just weird. Ramblings. Sorry.
I'm lonely, and I'm looking for love in all the wrong places. Not sure what the right places are, but I'm not finding any where I'm looking, so clearly either the universe has set it before me to die alone, or I just have to wait.
I am so, so sick of waiting.