Take me the way I am.
I don't think I've ever been myself as much as I've been myself lately.
I'm starting to see me.
I'm not sure if anybody else has seen me. I don't think so. I put on quite the show.
I don't think I've ever felt as at peace with myself as I did after swing dancing, all girled up in my '60s skirt and black Vera Wang tights, snuggled up under my fuzzy blanket on Angie's couch, falling asleep to her TV.
All hindrances aside. Just me. Existing. Allison, in the flesh. Content to be warm, tired, and... breathing. Free to just be Allison.
Had I been surrounded by people in that instance of time, they would've gotten quite the glimpse. I probably would've been very gracious. Very sweet. Innocent, small, precious. Caring. Loving. I probably would've given a lot of hugs.
That's pretty rare, to be honest. I put on a show for just about everyone, pretty much all the time. And I guess that's where I get the reputation of being loud, obnoxious, annoying, passive-aggressive, jerky, sarcastic, immature and rude. I mean, those are parts of me. But strip me of all of the glare and I think you'd find a very different person than you're used to.
Which is why I say I'm not sure if anybody else has seen me. Me, the real, genuine Allison. She doesn't get out much.
I'd like for her to get out more. I want to reach a comfort level with people so I don't feel like I need to be anything else but myself. I don't want to try to be funny, or try to be silly, or try to be edgy, or try to get attention, or try to be cute. I want to just exist. And I want you to be ok with that version of me.
But I think I'm scared to, because I think sometimes people tend to like the putting-on-a-show Allison more than they would like the just-being-me Allison.
We'll see.
I'm starting to see me.
I'm not sure if anybody else has seen me. I don't think so. I put on quite the show.
I don't think I've ever felt as at peace with myself as I did after swing dancing, all girled up in my '60s skirt and black Vera Wang tights, snuggled up under my fuzzy blanket on Angie's couch, falling asleep to her TV.
All hindrances aside. Just me. Existing. Allison, in the flesh. Content to be warm, tired, and... breathing. Free to just be Allison.
Had I been surrounded by people in that instance of time, they would've gotten quite the glimpse. I probably would've been very gracious. Very sweet. Innocent, small, precious. Caring. Loving. I probably would've given a lot of hugs.
That's pretty rare, to be honest. I put on a show for just about everyone, pretty much all the time. And I guess that's where I get the reputation of being loud, obnoxious, annoying, passive-aggressive, jerky, sarcastic, immature and rude. I mean, those are parts of me. But strip me of all of the glare and I think you'd find a very different person than you're used to.
Which is why I say I'm not sure if anybody else has seen me. Me, the real, genuine Allison. She doesn't get out much.
I'd like for her to get out more. I want to reach a comfort level with people so I don't feel like I need to be anything else but myself. I don't want to try to be funny, or try to be silly, or try to be edgy, or try to get attention, or try to be cute. I want to just exist. And I want you to be ok with that version of me.
But I think I'm scared to, because I think sometimes people tend to like the putting-on-a-show Allison more than they would like the just-being-me Allison.
We'll see.