Sod This For A Game of Soldiers: or, Filming John Constantine's Dangerous Habits
When I heard NBC was trying to do a show about John Constantine, my first comment was, "They're not going to let him smoke." My second comment was, "They're going to make him straight."
Imagine my shock and surprise at the current kerfuffle.
I have had a perverted and passionate love for John Constantine from the moment he stepped out from the shadows in Swamp Thing #37 and lit the first of his infamous Silk Cuts. I own every single issue of Hellblazer comics -- except the last; I couldn't bring myself to buy it. When the news came that the series was being cancelled, friends e-mailed me to make sure I was alright, as if someone I love had died, because fandom friends understand.
I was not alright. I was not alright when DC brought him back in the New 52, and I am certainly not alright after viewing this ridiculous television pilot. And I am here to tell you that the only way to do our Johnny justice would be to give him a show on a level with Breaking Bad or Sons of Anarchy.
For those who haven't been introduced, John Constantine is either the world's greatest mage or the world's greatest bullshit artist; it depends on who you ask. Everyone agrees, though, that he is a sly, manipulative, cynical, jaded, lying, cheating, stealing bastard. He chain smokes cheap cigarettes, he drinks cheap whiskey, he's generally that guy in the corner of the bar who looks like he slept there last night. He has canonically used drugs, bought prostitutes, had sex with underaged girls and, no matter what anyone tries to tell you, had sex with several men.
Oh, he also cut off an archangel's wings with a chainsaw, tricked Satan into drinking holy water, and pissed on the Prince of Vampires. Just sayin'.
Does this sound like Must-See TV? Hell yeah! Does it sound like NBC network prime time? Hell no! What were these people thinking?
DC Comics is naturally trying to get on the Marvel Cinematic Universe TV tie-in bandwagon. They did well with Smallville and Arrow -- in fact Smallville predated Marvel's Agents of SHIELD by a decade. I don't blame them for wanting to add another show to the roster. The only question is which to pick. How about one of DC's Big Three? How about the only one who doesn't have a movie franchise but had a successful series back in the 1970s? Nah, who'd want to watch a Wonder Woman show, right? Let's just do another grizzled white guy.
Enter John Constantine. Hellblazer the comic ran continuously for 300 issues from 1988 to 2013. It's a landmark series in comics history created by Alan Moore, who's a legend in his own right. Giving Constantine a show of his own should be a shoo-in.
But the thing is, Constantine is all about transgression. He dances the line between heaven and hell, good and evil, sanity and madness. He has power, oh yes, but it's power he's scrambled for by tooth and nail, devil take the hindmost -- literally. He does not live in a universe of heroes, and the stakes he plays for are far more than mortal.
His iconic quote about what he does is, "Magic's a nasty game. Go play with your dad's chainsaw instead."
There is no way to make John Constantine "likeable". There is no way to film Constantine's world unless you go balls to the wall.
It's been tried -- if you can call it trying. As much as I'd like to avoid it, I suppose we must talk about what I call the Keanu Abomination. No, I don't blame Keanu Reeves himself for anything more than bad acting, and yes, Tilda Swinton was almost literally brilliant as the angel Gabriel. Perhaps if the movie hadn't been called "Constantine" I might even have liked it. But it was a classic example of how a studio takes a concept, tries to "improve" it by committee, and jettisons everything about it except the title for name-recognition purposes. ("World War Z", anyone?)
It appears DC Comics has learned nothing from that debacle. What doesn't seem to have sunk in is that John's transgressive nature -- especially his smoking and flexible sexuality -- is ingrained in his origin, vital to his character and essential to his magical power.
In order to explain, I'm have to spoil John's canon backstory, so here's where you hit the back button if you need to.
In 1991, Garth Ennis took over Hellblazer and immediately produced one of John's most iconic storylines, "Dangerous Habits." This is the one, by the way, that was later adapted (if you can call it that) for the movie. In it, John is diagnosed with terminal lung cancer, and if you thought Walter White had an extreme reaction to that news, welcome to the big leagues. John devises an elaborate scheme in which he plays a shell game with his own soul, resulting in the Triumvirate of Hell having a choice between starting an unending war with one another that would bring about the Apocalypse, or making sure John Constantine never dies. Ever. Not only by lung cancer, but by anything from a paper cut to an atom bomb.
Now you understand why one of John's nicknames is "the Right King Of All Bastards."
John has also used his cigarettes as a means of power. For example, in one storyline, "Hard Time" by Brian Azzarello (issues 146-150), John is incarcerated because reasons. In order to escape and discover the mystery of how he got there, John devises an elaborate scheme... yeah, you get the idea. Cigarettes are currency in prison, and currency is power, and anything that is imbued with so much material power by the collective unconscious of the inmates can be used to manipulate a different kind of power altogether. John begins the story merely trying to stay alive under brutal circumstances, and ends up starting a prison riot of apocalyptic proportions. And it all starts with a nic fit. Whoops.
Azzarello is also responsible for one of Hellblazer's most controversial arcs, "Ashes and Dust In the City of Angels" (170-174). Yeah, this is the one with the kinky S&M bisexuality. "Angels" is not the first time John's bisexuality is alluded to, but it is the instance that caused the most uproar.
It's important to remember that John is not a role model; the issue of the erasure of his full sexuality does not depend on whether his behavior is acceptable or likeable or a "positive depiction." John uses his sexuality as a weapon as much as any femme fatale, and this storyline is based on John's seducing a mysterious millionaire with a dark tortured past who lives alone in a mansion, and who is named -- wait for it -- S.W. Manor. In other words, not only does this arc make explicit use of John's sexuality, but it insinuates that a certain Dark Knight cruises S&M clubs for rough trade.
The fanboys completely lost their shit. "Angels" is often voted as one of the worst arcs in Hellblazer's history, and the forum boards on the subject are full of backpedaling and denial. The most popular "explanations" are, "The whole story didn't really happen, it was just one of John's mindfucks", or, "It doesn't really count as bisexuality because John was just doing it for a con." Don't get me wrong, I don't think John was doing it for love, but as I said, John doesn't have to be a "good bisexual" in order to protect his sexuality from erasure. If he'd seduced a woman, there would not have been the same fan explosion, even though John still wasn't doing it for love.
John has indeed done it for love. He has had epic romances, and every one has led to death and despair, just as a good anti-hero's romances should. He's a great one for standing at a graveside in the rain, brooding in his rumpled trenchcoat. (Speaking of the trenchcoat, he's the character who coined the term, "Trenchcoat Brigade", for DC's numerous brooding occult detectives, and Sera Gamble, a showrunner for Supernatural, has admitted that she based Castiel's look on Constantine.)
Constantine, in the right hands (oh baby), could make as groundbreaking a series as Breaking Bad, The Wire, or Sons of Anarchy. But it's not going to happen as long as the powers that be remain scared to take the viewer fully into John's brutal, brilliant world.
This entry was originally posted at http://spiderine.dreamwidth.org/564504.html. There are
comments over there. I've disabled LJ's Facebook and Twitter cross-posting idiocy as much as I can, but if you're especially concerned, feel free to comment there.
Imagine my shock and surprise at the current kerfuffle.
I have had a perverted and passionate love for John Constantine from the moment he stepped out from the shadows in Swamp Thing #37 and lit the first of his infamous Silk Cuts. I own every single issue of Hellblazer comics -- except the last; I couldn't bring myself to buy it. When the news came that the series was being cancelled, friends e-mailed me to make sure I was alright, as if someone I love had died, because fandom friends understand.
I was not alright. I was not alright when DC brought him back in the New 52, and I am certainly not alright after viewing this ridiculous television pilot. And I am here to tell you that the only way to do our Johnny justice would be to give him a show on a level with Breaking Bad or Sons of Anarchy.
For those who haven't been introduced, John Constantine is either the world's greatest mage or the world's greatest bullshit artist; it depends on who you ask. Everyone agrees, though, that he is a sly, manipulative, cynical, jaded, lying, cheating, stealing bastard. He chain smokes cheap cigarettes, he drinks cheap whiskey, he's generally that guy in the corner of the bar who looks like he slept there last night. He has canonically used drugs, bought prostitutes, had sex with underaged girls and, no matter what anyone tries to tell you, had sex with several men.
Oh, he also cut off an archangel's wings with a chainsaw, tricked Satan into drinking holy water, and pissed on the Prince of Vampires. Just sayin'.
Does this sound like Must-See TV? Hell yeah! Does it sound like NBC network prime time? Hell no! What were these people thinking?
DC Comics is naturally trying to get on the Marvel Cinematic Universe TV tie-in bandwagon. They did well with Smallville and Arrow -- in fact Smallville predated Marvel's Agents of SHIELD by a decade. I don't blame them for wanting to add another show to the roster. The only question is which to pick. How about one of DC's Big Three? How about the only one who doesn't have a movie franchise but had a successful series back in the 1970s? Nah, who'd want to watch a Wonder Woman show, right? Let's just do another grizzled white guy.
Enter John Constantine. Hellblazer the comic ran continuously for 300 issues from 1988 to 2013. It's a landmark series in comics history created by Alan Moore, who's a legend in his own right. Giving Constantine a show of his own should be a shoo-in.
But the thing is, Constantine is all about transgression. He dances the line between heaven and hell, good and evil, sanity and madness. He has power, oh yes, but it's power he's scrambled for by tooth and nail, devil take the hindmost -- literally. He does not live in a universe of heroes, and the stakes he plays for are far more than mortal.
His iconic quote about what he does is, "Magic's a nasty game. Go play with your dad's chainsaw instead."
There is no way to make John Constantine "likeable". There is no way to film Constantine's world unless you go balls to the wall.
It's been tried -- if you can call it trying. As much as I'd like to avoid it, I suppose we must talk about what I call the Keanu Abomination. No, I don't blame Keanu Reeves himself for anything more than bad acting, and yes, Tilda Swinton was almost literally brilliant as the angel Gabriel. Perhaps if the movie hadn't been called "Constantine" I might even have liked it. But it was a classic example of how a studio takes a concept, tries to "improve" it by committee, and jettisons everything about it except the title for name-recognition purposes. ("World War Z", anyone?)
It appears DC Comics has learned nothing from that debacle. What doesn't seem to have sunk in is that John's transgressive nature -- especially his smoking and flexible sexuality -- is ingrained in his origin, vital to his character and essential to his magical power.
In order to explain, I'm have to spoil John's canon backstory, so here's where you hit the back button if you need to.
In 1991, Garth Ennis took over Hellblazer and immediately produced one of John's most iconic storylines, "Dangerous Habits." This is the one, by the way, that was later adapted (if you can call it that) for the movie. In it, John is diagnosed with terminal lung cancer, and if you thought Walter White had an extreme reaction to that news, welcome to the big leagues. John devises an elaborate scheme in which he plays a shell game with his own soul, resulting in the Triumvirate of Hell having a choice between starting an unending war with one another that would bring about the Apocalypse, or making sure John Constantine never dies. Ever. Not only by lung cancer, but by anything from a paper cut to an atom bomb.
Now you understand why one of John's nicknames is "the Right King Of All Bastards."
John has also used his cigarettes as a means of power. For example, in one storyline, "Hard Time" by Brian Azzarello (issues 146-150), John is incarcerated because reasons. In order to escape and discover the mystery of how he got there, John devises an elaborate scheme... yeah, you get the idea. Cigarettes are currency in prison, and currency is power, and anything that is imbued with so much material power by the collective unconscious of the inmates can be used to manipulate a different kind of power altogether. John begins the story merely trying to stay alive under brutal circumstances, and ends up starting a prison riot of apocalyptic proportions. And it all starts with a nic fit. Whoops.
Azzarello is also responsible for one of Hellblazer's most controversial arcs, "Ashes and Dust In the City of Angels" (170-174). Yeah, this is the one with the kinky S&M bisexuality. "Angels" is not the first time John's bisexuality is alluded to, but it is the instance that caused the most uproar.
It's important to remember that John is not a role model; the issue of the erasure of his full sexuality does not depend on whether his behavior is acceptable or likeable or a "positive depiction." John uses his sexuality as a weapon as much as any femme fatale, and this storyline is based on John's seducing a mysterious millionaire with a dark tortured past who lives alone in a mansion, and who is named -- wait for it -- S.W. Manor. In other words, not only does this arc make explicit use of John's sexuality, but it insinuates that a certain Dark Knight cruises S&M clubs for rough trade.
The fanboys completely lost their shit. "Angels" is often voted as one of the worst arcs in Hellblazer's history, and the forum boards on the subject are full of backpedaling and denial. The most popular "explanations" are, "The whole story didn't really happen, it was just one of John's mindfucks", or, "It doesn't really count as bisexuality because John was just doing it for a con." Don't get me wrong, I don't think John was doing it for love, but as I said, John doesn't have to be a "good bisexual" in order to protect his sexuality from erasure. If he'd seduced a woman, there would not have been the same fan explosion, even though John still wasn't doing it for love.
John has indeed done it for love. He has had epic romances, and every one has led to death and despair, just as a good anti-hero's romances should. He's a great one for standing at a graveside in the rain, brooding in his rumpled trenchcoat. (Speaking of the trenchcoat, he's the character who coined the term, "Trenchcoat Brigade", for DC's numerous brooding occult detectives, and Sera Gamble, a showrunner for Supernatural, has admitted that she based Castiel's look on Constantine.)
Constantine, in the right hands (oh baby), could make as groundbreaking a series as Breaking Bad, The Wire, or Sons of Anarchy. But it's not going to happen as long as the powers that be remain scared to take the viewer fully into John's brutal, brilliant world.
This entry was originally posted at http://spiderine.dreamwidth.org/564504.html. There are
comments over there. I've disabled LJ's Facebook and Twitter cross-posting idiocy as much as I can, but if you're especially concerned, feel free to comment there.