37 + 1 Thinkies about "Victory of the Daleks"
Welcome! Sit back, relax and pop open your bevvy of choice because it's time for another lovely episode of Doctor Who: The Reboot: The Reboot. When last we met, I had a few words to say about titles that spoil an important plot point or reveal.
This week's episode is entitled, "Victory of the Daleks".
*cough* Moving right along...
1) Before we begin: Do I really have to restate the ground rules again? No? Good. ...although I do want to add that the brain kittens are eyeing me with severe misgivings. It is the sacred trust of brain kittens to prevent sensible and profound thoughts from sneaking into my brain and out my fingertips onto the screen -- by force if necessary. They know I'm a bit of a military history geek, and if I get my geek on things might get ugly. You have been warned.
2) In medias res of a mess. I wonder what this looks like to someone who has no cultural context. Maybe a nine year old kid in Britain would know where and when we are, but for a kid the same age in the US this might as well be science fiction. Except for those funny things they call "telephones". Are we supposed to care about the radio operator's dead boyfriend? Nah, it's just a "courage on the homefront" moment. Those wacky Brits and their stiff upper lips...
3) Well HEY there, Winston Churchill! Ian Mcneice is a fine actor with a fine cigar. How much you wanna bet that if this had been made in the USA they'd have been forced to ditch the cigar? And who knew that ol' Winston was ginger? Not me!
4) I think I'm figuring out what I don't like about the new theme music. The primary melody line sounds like something from a cheesy horror show, when it should sound like something from a cheesy sci-fi show.
5) Hi, Doctor! Hi, Lee Enfield .303 rifles! *Brain kittens thwap Spider* What? Hi, Amy! Woul you mind giving us the exposition of where we are? "Cabinet War Rooms!" Thank you, Amy! When was the last time Churchill saw the Doctor? Which Doctor was it? Is there canon?
6) I'm already getting a bit annoyed with Amy's pouty lip. But did you see how she echoes Churchill when he says, "Give 'em what for!" He does a little punchy move with his fist, and right behind him, Amy mimics him. Not because she's making fun of him, but because she's just so enthusiastic. She's a time traveller! Whee! *hearts*
7) Okay, yeah, I'll let the Doctor wave the smoke away. Did Churchill really talk like that? Are these real quotes, or is it simply that he's so iconic that people remember him in sound bites?
8) Oh gods, the London sky full of barrage balloons! Right in front of Big Ben and Westminster, naturally, and I immediately go right there: ROSE! WHERE'S ROSE? WHERE'S JACK? WHERE'S NINE?
9) And what could possibly be shooting those planes out of the sky? OH THEY ARE AWESOMELY ADORABLE with their little ammo belts and cute little Union flags... er, never mind. I haven't really been able to take Daleks seriously since I knit one. It's Dalek-o-vision! "TO WIN THE WAR!" AH, BUT WHICH WAR? Those sneaky Daleks! *Dun dun duuuunnnnn...*
10) I agree with the Doctor: Enough with the Scottish geniuses, Amy. Ooooh! The Dalek sneaking up on the Doctor is such a good shot. Aw, and the pizza delivery Dalek! HA! Yes, yes I know it's some kinda document box but you were thinking it too and you know it.
11) "Amy! AMELIA!" Whoa, shit! 1) that the Doctor resorts to that paternal SNAP of her childhood name, and (2) that Amy doesn't even blink an eye at it. I still think the bratty poochy lower lip gets way too much of a workout. I also don't care how "spunky" :P she is; she might want to consider that the 900-some-odd (and I do mean ODD)-year-old time travelling genius might be trying to stop her for a REASON.
12) "Millions of innocent lives will be saved if I use these ironsides now!" Oh, are we dropping atom bomb metaphors now? C WHAT I DID THAR? *Spider snickers* *Brain kittens put on boxing gloves* WHAT?
13) Shelves of Dalek parts! "WOULD-YOU-CARE-FOR-SOME-TEA?" OMG that would so haunt my nightmares if I weren't so busy laughing! "WOULD-YOU-CARE-FOR-SOME- Holy shit! I love my Doctor the best when he gets his Time Lordy wrath on -- and the image of him smacking down a Dalek (albeit a tea-pushing one) totally warms the heart of my cockles (or some such like that there). The image of him WAILING AWAY AT A DALEK WITH A BLOODY GREAT SPANNER while he yells, "Kill me! Kill me! YOU ARE MY ENEMY! THE WORST THING IN ALL CREATION!" .... guh, I'd transcribe the whole quote but, um, *cough* I'll be in my bunk ...
14) Oops.
15) "Safe down here in the London Blitz?" "Safe as it gets around me." Oh, Doctor! The last lovely young companion you left gallivanting about in the London Blitz -- HEY. HOW can they do a Blitz episode without even MENTIONING Rose? *Brain kittens dust off Rose Forever hats and put them on* Not to mention, there's a Chula warship out there tethered to Big Ben, and just because we can't see it doesn't mean we don't know it's there! HEY! I HAVE IT! The Doctor is letting Amy off the leash on purpose as Jack-bait! *Brain kittens exchange Rose Forever hats for OT3 FOREVER! tiaras*
16) KEEP BUGGERING ON. Words to live by. *Brain kittens sparkle salute!*
17) Okay, that little thing with the christmas lights flickering that's sitting in front of the three Daleks looks like the salt shaker that goes with the pepper pots, you know? Oh look, it's the TARDIS! "EXTERMINATE!" It's about time: DRINK! *Spider chugs beer*
18) THAT'S A JAMMY DODGER.
19) OMG the lights are going on all over London! They're sitting ducks! The light switches don't work and the generators won't turn off! WOE! IF ONLY THERE WERE SUCH THINGS AS PLUGS AND WIRES ONE MIGHT PULL OUT TO CUT THE CIRCUIT!
20) CUE THE SPARKS! CUE THE SMOKE! CUE THE MELODRAMATIC MUSIC! GENTLEBEINGS, I PRESENT TO YOU.... oh bloody Nora. It's the Rainbow Connection... OF DEATH! They look so plastic. They have backpacks or hunchbacks or something. They don't look mechanical or weighty at all. When they get older, instead of looking like battered machines they'll look like cheap scuffed and broken toys. The one thing I do like is the clamp ring around the thorax that is a better base point for the arms.
21) Oh blah blah, I don't care about Bracewell and his humanity or lack thereof.
22) Wow, that new White Dalek's voice is odd. Slower and deeper than they used to be. Not loving it. HAHAHA, the old Daleks: "WE ARE NOT WORTHY. EXTERMINATE OUR UNCLEAN ARSES." OMG did the White Dalek say the Drone was the one IN THE RED SHIRT? I know I know, not red shirt really, but is the red one the drone? If it's going to be the type that gets mown down by the score in upcoming episodes, it had better be the one in the red shirt!
23) Okay, kids, say it with me: SPITFIRES! IN! SPAAAAAACE! I know several people who have been waiting for this very moment since we first saw the teaser for the new series. But I have to ask: the planes are in these little bubbles, right? In SPAAAAAAAACE! Then why do they need propellers? *Brain kittens thwap Spider with boxing gloves on* HEY! And how did the boffins get the space-spitfires (spacefires?) up and working so quickly? *Boxing brain kittens give Spider a sharp jab to the jaw* QUIT THAT!
24) And yes, Danny Boy had better be Jack Bloody Harkness putting on a bad accent for reasons yet to be explored at this juncture. Otherwise I will be SORELY disappointed -- and when I say "I", I mean "the hive mind of thousands of squeeing fangirls and boys all over the globe." BLUE LEADER CAPTAIN! That's another Star Wars shoutout! They're going in for the Death Star! Okay, since that seems to be a running gag this series, we're hereby making any Star Wars shoutout a DRINK! *Spider chugs beer*
25) ... did he just say, "Tally Ho!"? O_o I swear that had better be Jack taking the piss, that's all I have to --- NO WAIT. What was Lethbridge-Stewart doing during the War? If it can't be Jack, it MUST be Lethbridge-Stewart!
26) Blah blah blah choose between destroying the Daleks and saving the Earth... as if there were any question blah blah blah "HIS COMPASSION IS HIS GREATEST WEAKNESS." And dropping anvils from Sun Tzu is yours.
27) Aw, BRAIN KITTENS can punch harder than the Doctor! But the Doctor is still better at technobabble. *hearts*
...yes, I know that Three knew Venusian kung fu and Centauri kickboxing and all that. Eleven, though, didn't appear to be rocking that uppercut, know what I mean?
28) Sonic screwdriver sighting! DRINK! *Spider chugs beer* It's funny how Bracewell is ticklish and whimpers a bit when Eleven rips his shirt open -- yeeeaahh, I guess I'd feel like whimpering too should I find myself in a similar position (please dear gods!). The thingy in Bracewell's chest reminds me of the thingy in the Iron Man suit. No, by "thingy" I do not mean Robert Downey Jr. Or Robert Downey Jr.'s penis. Perverts.
29) "Prove you're human." Aw, no. I don't give a hoot about Bracewell's yellow fucking crayon. "YOU, MY FRIEND, ARE A HUMAN BEING." Here we have the whole point of the episode: the Doctor names life. *Brain kittens go for a gut punch. Spider dodges!* His testimony -- who he is -- gives him the authority to define what a Dalek is and what a Human is and what the difference is. They're both largely machines with a bit of organic matter thrown in, but one is "the worst thing in all creation" and the other is ... a boffin, not a bomb. Who gets to decide? Who, indeed.
30) WHAT A CUTESOME LITTLE FRISBEE SPACE SAUCER.
31) What is with the horrible "dun dun duuunnnn..." music? Is it just me noticing this, or has the incidental music as well as the theme been far too hamhanded in this series so far? I suppose it's to underline that this is the Victory of the Daleks. Oh noes, they got away! That means they won! CRY MOAR, Time Lord, you merely saved the Earth. Again. Can't we get off this fuckin' planet now and go meet some aliens?
32) Iwo Jima WHUT? *Brain kittens thwap Spider* And we bring it back around to the radio operator's dead boyfriend because THE SHOW MUST GO ON THE WAR MARCHES ON.
33) I never would have thought that Churchill would be so ... huggy.
34) PAGING DOCTOR STRANGELOVE!
35) I like how the Doctor calls her "Pond". *hearts* I don't understand why the Doctor just won't say, "Oi, I'm not going to kill you!" instead of this whole "back in ten minutes or ten years" thing that's really just an in-joke between Eleven and Amy. It sounds vaguely threatening, like some kind of Tyler Durden thing: "I may come back in ten minutes or ten years and if you're not doing your heart's desire I might just kill you. So the moment I disappear... run." But then he gets all sunshine and smiles like he was just having a laugh. "Yeah, I'm going to kill you... NOT! Psych!"
36) And there's the crack in the wall with light spilling through. There was one at the end of the last episode, but I just thought it was a crack in Starship UK itself because it was such an old ship. So we're going to get one at the end of every episode, I suppose, until it becomes the subject of one. I think I'll have to make this a gimme DRINK! *Spider chugs beer*
37) In conclusion: Well, it wasn't scary at all. I got through it with hardly any geekery about THE WAR ("dun dun duuuuunnnnn..."). One of my favorite character actors did an admirable guest stint. And the Daleks are flying Pride Colors from now on. GAY AGENDA FTW! DRINK!
And here's a Plus One for the next episode: Oh no, I've been dreading her -- OH FUCK NO! I'VE BEEN DREADING THEM! AAAAAAH!
This week's episode is entitled, "Victory of the Daleks".
*cough* Moving right along...
1) Before we begin: Do I really have to restate the ground rules again? No? Good. ...although I do want to add that the brain kittens are eyeing me with severe misgivings. It is the sacred trust of brain kittens to prevent sensible and profound thoughts from sneaking into my brain and out my fingertips onto the screen -- by force if necessary. They know I'm a bit of a military history geek, and if I get my geek on things might get ugly. You have been warned.
2) In medias res of a mess. I wonder what this looks like to someone who has no cultural context. Maybe a nine year old kid in Britain would know where and when we are, but for a kid the same age in the US this might as well be science fiction. Except for those funny things they call "telephones". Are we supposed to care about the radio operator's dead boyfriend? Nah, it's just a "courage on the homefront" moment. Those wacky Brits and their stiff upper lips...
3) Well HEY there, Winston Churchill! Ian Mcneice is a fine actor with a fine cigar. How much you wanna bet that if this had been made in the USA they'd have been forced to ditch the cigar? And who knew that ol' Winston was ginger? Not me!
4) I think I'm figuring out what I don't like about the new theme music. The primary melody line sounds like something from a cheesy horror show, when it should sound like something from a cheesy sci-fi show.
5) Hi, Doctor! Hi, Lee Enfield .303 rifles! *Brain kittens thwap Spider* What? Hi, Amy! Woul you mind giving us the exposition of where we are? "Cabinet War Rooms!" Thank you, Amy! When was the last time Churchill saw the Doctor? Which Doctor was it? Is there canon?
6) I'm already getting a bit annoyed with Amy's pouty lip. But did you see how she echoes Churchill when he says, "Give 'em what for!" He does a little punchy move with his fist, and right behind him, Amy mimics him. Not because she's making fun of him, but because she's just so enthusiastic. She's a time traveller! Whee! *hearts*
7) Okay, yeah, I'll let the Doctor wave the smoke away. Did Churchill really talk like that? Are these real quotes, or is it simply that he's so iconic that people remember him in sound bites?
8) Oh gods, the London sky full of barrage balloons! Right in front of Big Ben and Westminster, naturally, and I immediately go right there: ROSE! WHERE'S ROSE? WHERE'S JACK? WHERE'S NINE?
9) And what could possibly be shooting those planes out of the sky? OH THEY ARE AWESOMELY ADORABLE with their little ammo belts and cute little Union flags... er, never mind. I haven't really been able to take Daleks seriously since I knit one. It's Dalek-o-vision! "TO WIN THE WAR!" AH, BUT WHICH WAR? Those sneaky Daleks! *Dun dun duuuunnnnn...*
10) I agree with the Doctor: Enough with the Scottish geniuses, Amy. Ooooh! The Dalek sneaking up on the Doctor is such a good shot. Aw, and the pizza delivery Dalek! HA! Yes, yes I know it's some kinda document box but you were thinking it too and you know it.
11) "Amy! AMELIA!" Whoa, shit! 1) that the Doctor resorts to that paternal SNAP of her childhood name, and (2) that Amy doesn't even blink an eye at it. I still think the bratty poochy lower lip gets way too much of a workout. I also don't care how "spunky" :P she is; she might want to consider that the 900-some-odd (and I do mean ODD)-year-old time travelling genius might be trying to stop her for a REASON.
12) "Millions of innocent lives will be saved if I use these ironsides now!" Oh, are we dropping atom bomb metaphors now? C WHAT I DID THAR? *Spider snickers* *Brain kittens put on boxing gloves* WHAT?
13) Shelves of Dalek parts! "WOULD-YOU-CARE-FOR-SOME-TEA?" OMG that would so haunt my nightmares if I weren't so busy laughing! "WOULD-YOU-CARE-FOR-SOME- Holy shit! I love my Doctor the best when he gets his Time Lordy wrath on -- and the image of him smacking down a Dalek (albeit a tea-pushing one) totally warms the heart of my cockles (or some such like that there). The image of him WAILING AWAY AT A DALEK WITH A BLOODY GREAT SPANNER while he yells, "Kill me! Kill me! YOU ARE MY ENEMY! THE WORST THING IN ALL CREATION!" .... guh, I'd transcribe the whole quote but, um, *cough* I'll be in my bunk ...
14) Oops.
15) "Safe down here in the London Blitz?" "Safe as it gets around me." Oh, Doctor! The last lovely young companion you left gallivanting about in the London Blitz -- HEY. HOW can they do a Blitz episode without even MENTIONING Rose? *Brain kittens dust off Rose Forever hats and put them on* Not to mention, there's a Chula warship out there tethered to Big Ben, and just because we can't see it doesn't mean we don't know it's there! HEY! I HAVE IT! The Doctor is letting Amy off the leash on purpose as Jack-bait! *Brain kittens exchange Rose Forever hats for OT3 FOREVER! tiaras*
16) KEEP BUGGERING ON. Words to live by. *Brain kittens sparkle salute!*
17) Okay, that little thing with the christmas lights flickering that's sitting in front of the three Daleks looks like the salt shaker that goes with the pepper pots, you know? Oh look, it's the TARDIS! "EXTERMINATE!" It's about time: DRINK! *Spider chugs beer*
18) THAT'S A JAMMY DODGER.
19) OMG the lights are going on all over London! They're sitting ducks! The light switches don't work and the generators won't turn off! WOE! IF ONLY THERE WERE SUCH THINGS AS PLUGS AND WIRES ONE MIGHT PULL OUT TO CUT THE CIRCUIT!
20) CUE THE SPARKS! CUE THE SMOKE! CUE THE MELODRAMATIC MUSIC! GENTLEBEINGS, I PRESENT TO YOU.... oh bloody Nora. It's the Rainbow Connection... OF DEATH! They look so plastic. They have backpacks or hunchbacks or something. They don't look mechanical or weighty at all. When they get older, instead of looking like battered machines they'll look like cheap scuffed and broken toys. The one thing I do like is the clamp ring around the thorax that is a better base point for the arms.
21) Oh blah blah, I don't care about Bracewell and his humanity or lack thereof.
22) Wow, that new White Dalek's voice is odd. Slower and deeper than they used to be. Not loving it. HAHAHA, the old Daleks: "WE ARE NOT WORTHY. EXTERMINATE OUR UNCLEAN ARSES." OMG did the White Dalek say the Drone was the one IN THE RED SHIRT? I know I know, not red shirt really, but is the red one the drone? If it's going to be the type that gets mown down by the score in upcoming episodes, it had better be the one in the red shirt!
23) Okay, kids, say it with me: SPITFIRES! IN! SPAAAAAACE! I know several people who have been waiting for this very moment since we first saw the teaser for the new series. But I have to ask: the planes are in these little bubbles, right? In SPAAAAAAAACE! Then why do they need propellers? *Brain kittens thwap Spider with boxing gloves on* HEY! And how did the boffins get the space-spitfires (spacefires?) up and working so quickly? *Boxing brain kittens give Spider a sharp jab to the jaw* QUIT THAT!
24) And yes, Danny Boy had better be Jack Bloody Harkness putting on a bad accent for reasons yet to be explored at this juncture. Otherwise I will be SORELY disappointed -- and when I say "I", I mean "the hive mind of thousands of squeeing fangirls and boys all over the globe." BLUE LEADER CAPTAIN! That's another Star Wars shoutout! They're going in for the Death Star! Okay, since that seems to be a running gag this series, we're hereby making any Star Wars shoutout a DRINK! *Spider chugs beer*
25) ... did he just say, "Tally Ho!"? O_o I swear that had better be Jack taking the piss, that's all I have to --- NO WAIT. What was Lethbridge-Stewart doing during the War? If it can't be Jack, it MUST be Lethbridge-Stewart!
26) Blah blah blah choose between destroying the Daleks and saving the Earth... as if there were any question blah blah blah "HIS COMPASSION IS HIS GREATEST WEAKNESS." And dropping anvils from Sun Tzu is yours.
27) Aw, BRAIN KITTENS can punch harder than the Doctor! But the Doctor is still better at technobabble. *hearts*
...yes, I know that Three knew Venusian kung fu and Centauri kickboxing and all that. Eleven, though, didn't appear to be rocking that uppercut, know what I mean?
28) Sonic screwdriver sighting! DRINK! *Spider chugs beer* It's funny how Bracewell is ticklish and whimpers a bit when Eleven rips his shirt open -- yeeeaahh, I guess I'd feel like whimpering too should I find myself in a similar position (please dear gods!). The thingy in Bracewell's chest reminds me of the thingy in the Iron Man suit. No, by "thingy" I do not mean Robert Downey Jr. Or Robert Downey Jr.'s penis. Perverts.
29) "Prove you're human." Aw, no. I don't give a hoot about Bracewell's yellow fucking crayon. "YOU, MY FRIEND, ARE A HUMAN BEING." Here we have the whole point of the episode: the Doctor names life. *Brain kittens go for a gut punch. Spider dodges!* His testimony -- who he is -- gives him the authority to define what a Dalek is and what a Human is and what the difference is. They're both largely machines with a bit of organic matter thrown in, but one is "the worst thing in all creation" and the other is ... a boffin, not a bomb. Who gets to decide? Who, indeed.
30) WHAT A CUTESOME LITTLE FRISBEE SPACE SAUCER.
31) What is with the horrible "dun dun duuunnnn..." music? Is it just me noticing this, or has the incidental music as well as the theme been far too hamhanded in this series so far? I suppose it's to underline that this is the Victory of the Daleks. Oh noes, they got away! That means they won! CRY MOAR, Time Lord, you merely saved the Earth. Again. Can't we get off this fuckin' planet now and go meet some aliens?
32) Iwo Jima WHUT? *Brain kittens thwap Spider* And we bring it back around to the radio operator's dead boyfriend because THE SHOW MUST GO ON THE WAR MARCHES ON.
33) I never would have thought that Churchill would be so ... huggy.
34) PAGING DOCTOR STRANGELOVE!
35) I like how the Doctor calls her "Pond". *hearts* I don't understand why the Doctor just won't say, "Oi, I'm not going to kill you!" instead of this whole "back in ten minutes or ten years" thing that's really just an in-joke between Eleven and Amy. It sounds vaguely threatening, like some kind of Tyler Durden thing: "I may come back in ten minutes or ten years and if you're not doing your heart's desire I might just kill you. So the moment I disappear... run." But then he gets all sunshine and smiles like he was just having a laugh. "Yeah, I'm going to kill you... NOT! Psych!"
36) And there's the crack in the wall with light spilling through. There was one at the end of the last episode, but I just thought it was a crack in Starship UK itself because it was such an old ship. So we're going to get one at the end of every episode, I suppose, until it becomes the subject of one. I think I'll have to make this a gimme DRINK! *Spider chugs beer*
37) In conclusion: Well, it wasn't scary at all. I got through it with hardly any geekery about THE WAR ("dun dun duuuuunnnnn..."). One of my favorite character actors did an admirable guest stint. And the Daleks are flying Pride Colors from now on. GAY AGENDA FTW! DRINK!
And here's a Plus One for the next episode: Oh no, I've been dreading her -- OH FUCK NO! I'VE BEEN DREADING THEM! AAAAAAH!